DustyD Posted August 2, 2014 Posted August 2, 2014 My ex left me a year ago last month. When she left it turned my world upside down. It has been a long year, but in that time I have learned that most things in the relationship were my fault. I didn't put her first in my life and I turned down multiple opportunities to spend time with her and I didn't. There was no infidelity on either side and I would have went to the ends of the earth for this girl but was too stupid to realize it at the time so she walked and rightfully so. During this year I also lost 90 pounds due to hard work and a change in everything I did. I made all of the classic mistakes calling, texting, and emailing too much. I sent her the last email about a month ago and low and behold she contacted me back apologizing to me and my son's for everything. So of course sent her an email back sincerely apologizing for everything I did including bugging her too much. I have been feeling better about where my life was and I was actually moving on from her. I had dated two girls since and just recently hung out with one of them two weeks ago. My ex sent me a message a week ago telling me if I wanted to be friends that she was cool with it so once again I bit and we started exchanging text messages. She seemed in a hurry to talk to me and seemed anxious at times. She then asked if we could meet in person so we did and I told her how I felt and that I still had feelings for her and that I was once again sorry for everything. I was just trying to be honest cause that is what I believe in. I hugged her and after about 20 seconds she pushed me away and said in a laughing tone your an ass hole. She asked me multiple times if I was OK being just friends and I told her I was and that just meant I got to have her in my life. There was moments that she looked into my eyes like she used to and I could feel actual love in her eyes. When we started to go our separate ways we hugged and looked into each others eyes and started to kiss. We kissed passionately for a few minutes and then went our separate ways. She contacted me later that evening and we ended up having a pretty intense phone conversation. The next day she asked me to come over with Idid and we ended up sleeping together and when I asked her if she wanted to stay the night she looked and said please stay with me. We didn't get much sleep and she went to work the next morning and I went about my day. After I contacted her through text the next day she asked me to come over again I did. This night was a little different we had a more in depth conversation and she basically told me that she could only be friends and wasn't sure how she felt. We had another good night and took a shower together the next morning I kissed her and said goodbye and I haven't heard from her since that was two days ago. Not quit sure how to feel or what I should do. I love this girl and don't want to **** this up but feel as if I have any suggestions?
Author DustyD Posted August 3, 2014 Author Posted August 3, 2014 Well its now been three days and I haven't heard word from her. I think I got played!??
leoc1973 Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 Be patient. Right now she has a million things running through her head. Do not push her no matter what you do. It will make her feel as if she can't breathe. She is probably going back and forth in her mind about what went wrong, if it will go wrong again, if she loves you, how much she loves you, if the chicken sandwich she had today had too many calories, does what she is wearing make her thighs look fat. ect.. It seems like you had a really intimate time together. Let the seed grow and don't squash it. It never hurts to play a little hard to get. It seems like you are way too honest and you are leaving absolutely no excitement over does he or doesn't he still love me? What is he thinking? Will he take me back? women need mystery. Yes they say honesty and that is a great way to live your life but there is a difference with being honest with her and oversharing with her. Is she dating anyone else? Maybe she is having that battle in her head over who is better for her. She may be having thoughts about can she hurt you again if it doesn't work out. Just go about your day as if you normally would. Don't over think anything because when it comes right down to it all that matters is how she feels. Let her figure it out and miss you a little. And stop being so open about how you feel about her. I read something one time that says to treat a reconciliation as if you were treating a new relationship. Would you tell a girl you just met and just hooked up with that you love her? I know it sounds ridiculous but every relationship needs room to grow but by telling her how much you love her you are just going right to the top of the chain.
Author DustyD Posted August 3, 2014 Author Posted August 3, 2014 Thank you for responding! I am literally pulling my hair out lol. This is one of the most nerve racking things I have been through in a very long time. No she hasn't seen anyone else since we split and hasn't slept with anyone either. Should I just let her be and come to me? Or do I send her a simple message just saying hi and see how it goes. I think I need to let her be.
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