smackie9 Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 If you can't give me a nice parting hug and at least a kiss on the cheek...then no chemistry. We like affection. I am not a potential 'friend ' but a potential girlfriend. I want a tingly memory of out first meeting. Yes we like affection but only if we welcome it. During our girl talks I've heard some of them say "the date wasn't that great ...and omg then he had the nerve to move in for a kiss...."
d0nnivain Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 OP you have been given a few mixed messages. From them you should have been able to discern that all women are different. Some want physical contact on the 1st date; others find that too forward & off putting. Therefore you have to determine what the woman you are going out with wants & conform your behavior to her tastes.
me85 Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 If you do want to kiss her on the first date then it should be a sweet innocent kiss. I say, not a french kiss but that's just me. Just go with the flow. She'll give you the vibes you need to determine if she wants you to kiss her or not. Good luck kid!
DrSimple Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 As a male, I will give my input. I went through a phase where I ALWAYS went for a kiss on the first date. I used to be a guy that was more reserved and broke myself out of my shell that way, forcing myself to approach what I feared (rejection). After enough attempts, some failures and some not, I learned that it wasn't a big deal to go for a kiss as it gave me the information I needed at the end of the date (interest level). So then my phase 2 was still ALWAYS going for a kiss on the first date, but it wasn't to break out but more for information. Does she like me? Is she receptive? How does she kiss if she does? It was a way to ease my own dating anxiety of "does she like me or not?". This was all and good, but it brings about it's own set of problems. Now though? I don't really need that extra information to easy MY OWN anxiety about dating, I have enough experience and confidence to forgo that attempt at quelling my own curiosity in order to frame control. So now phase 3 is NOT kissing on a first date regardless of interest level. No matter how awesome the night goes the goal is NOT to kiss the woman, to leave her in the state of wondering why you didn't kiss her. To let her wonder what your kiss will be like, and give her something to look forward too on date two. Give yourself the control and shift the onus of guessing to her, because the more you leave her guessing the more she will be thinking about you. Date 2, MAKE SURE YOU KISS HER as if you wait any longer than there will be red flags in her mind rather than curiosity.
Tayken Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 Going for coffee is not the first date. True....this is called a meet n greet. If this goes well, then someone has to decide on a 1st date, and just make sure you split the bill on a first date. Kissing on first date, is used to gauge if there is a tactile chemistry, and to see if there will be a 2nd date. I have made moves on / and had moves made on me on first dates.
sillyanswer Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 Hello everyone... Some people say kiss on the first date, and some other people will say kiss on the second. I know it all depends on the body language of the girl and all that, but does it matter if its on the first or second date? I'm 20 years old and i have never dated a girl and I have a date coming up and I don't know what to do First, second, third. If you have a rule and stick to it you'll fail much of the time. Some women have a 'rule' that it wasn't even a date if there wasn't a kiss (I read it here so it must be true) and yet others refuse to kiss on the first date regardless of anything and everything, so there isn't a one-size-fits-all piece of advice for you other than: good luck.
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 True....this is called a meet n greet. Right. Coffee is the bare minimum to make sure you're not meeting with a catfish just make sure you split the bill on a first date. I've heard different theories on this, among them this: Should You Pay for a Date? | Girls Chase I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on why it should be split. As well, do you mean everything is split 50/50, or just the dinner? For example, does it make a difference if the guy pays for 100% of a $60 meal if the girl pays $40 for a movie and dessert? Or does it need to be 50/50 all the time?
todreaminblue Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 i agree with the poster who said a hug and a kiss on the cheek for a first date ending.....shows interest......and a fond memory...i dont ever feel tongue down the throat is appropriate first or even second date.....soft kiss warm hugs ......slow build towards intimacy..something to look forward too...a little bit of surprise, something to remember and not really planned just natural and warm....best wishes...deb
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 (edited) i agree with the poster who said a hug and a kiss on the cheek for a first date ending.....shows interest......and a fond memory...i dont ever feel tongue down the throat is appropriate first or even second date.....soft kiss warm hugs ......slow build towards intimacy..something to look forward too...a little bit of surprise, something to remember and not really planned just natural and warm....best wishes...deb Cheek kisses are for grandmothers and French people. Edited August 7, 2014 by DazedandConfused8
Tayken Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Right. Coffee is the bare minimum to make sure you're not meeting with a catfish I've heard different theories on this, among them this: Should You Pay for a Date? | Girls Chase I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on why it should be split. As well, do you mean everything is split 50/50, or just the dinner? For example, does it make a difference if the guy pays for 100% of a $60 meal if the girl pays $40 for a movie and dessert? Or does it need to be 50/50 all the time? Here is why...there are a lot of women that just go on dates for the fun of it.....if there is a to be a 2nd date, then I'll pay for the whole thing but not on a 1st date.
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Here is why...there are a lot of women that just go on dates for the fun of it.....if there is a to be a 2nd date, then I'll pay for the whole thing but not on a 1st date. But I *think* this is where the coffee "date"/meet 'n' greet comes into play: that should have been the opportunity to try to see whether there was any chemistry and whether there was the possibility for more. Shouldn't you be able to weed out the chow hounds?
todreaminblue Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 Cheek kisses are for grandmothers and French people. french people know how to kiss.......in fact ....french kissing is named appropriately......french people know french kissing has a time and a place...have been kissed by a french guy....and it wasnt on the first date....and when it turned into french kissing......i must stop here .....i am heating up with a simple memory of a very gifted explicit mouth...i bid you adieu...deb
Author jacktheripper Posted August 7, 2014 Author Posted August 7, 2014 Welllll how did the date go? It was fun, we went to starbucks first, got some coffee and went to talk / walk along the lake. I bought her ice cream too. I held her hand while we were walking around too, and yes i went for the kiss when i dropped her off. she asked me if i wanted to come inside, but i didn't want to rush anything so i told her i wasn't ready yet. she understood I'm taking her out to a steak house for dinner next week. My father owns it, so i won't have to pay a huge bill.
smackie9 Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 I'm taking her out to a steak house for dinner next week. My father owns it, so i won't have to pay a huge bill. Well hell don't tell her that! lol Good for you. Just keep at it, be relaxed, and of course show that girl some desire.
acrosstheuniverse Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 I only kiss on second dates. First dates are for figuring out if you want see one another again. Second dates prove you both want to be around the other person again and are at least moderately interested. I've had so many first dates that I've not wanted to lead onto a second, I'd have cringed like crazy if I felt I had to kiss the guy, and it would ruin the whole day if you had to kinda awkwardly turn your date down. So yeah, always second or onward. Usually third or fourth for me in recent times.
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 7, 2014 Posted August 7, 2014 I only kiss on second dates. First dates are for figuring out if you want see one another again. Second dates prove you both want to be around the other person again and are at least moderately interested. I've had so many first dates that I've not wanted to lead onto a second, I'd have cringed like crazy if I felt I had to kiss the guy, and it would ruin the whole day if you had to kinda awkwardly turn your date down. So yeah, always second or onward. Usually third or fourth for me in recent times. But again: would you call the a "coffee" meet up a date, meaning that the second meet up is a second date, or the first?
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