Biscous Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 Oh what a way to start off my Friday. I try to solve and fix things with what I say, but she is still at a point of blaming me. I feel like I should have ignored these. Thoughts?
marcjb Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 Do not respond to negative behavior. It only tells her that it's working. 3
cavalier99 Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 Block the #. You don't need that immaturity. Yup. Just cut her out like a cancer. Block, ignore, control your thinking about her like a zen master. She is dead to you. NC ALL THE WAY!!!! Rok On! Cav 1
Simon Phoenix Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 It's not your job to "fix" anything. Block the number, let it go. 2
cavalier99 Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 It's not your job to "fix" anything. Block the number, let it go. Good advice for the OP. Hahahaha your still around! Cav
Simon Phoenix Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 Good advice for the OP. Hahahaha your still around! Cav Oh yeah, I'm helpy helperton. Plus it's addictive. 1
Author Biscous Posted August 1, 2014 Author Posted August 1, 2014 I admit I messed up some aspects of it. She won't own up to her side though which is frustrating.
Simon Phoenix Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 I admit I messed up some aspects of it. She won't own up to her side though which is frustrating. Of course she won't, no reason for her to. And even if she did, what does that change? I mean, you are just torturing yourself by trying to get that out of her and the more you do, the more she'll resist. So stop. 3
cavalier99 Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 I admit I messed up some aspects of it. She won't own up to her side though which is frustrating. She is dead. She can't own up to anything if you dont know ANYTHING about her. Its hard but simple. Go NC..hard core!!!! Cav
Author Biscous Posted August 1, 2014 Author Posted August 1, 2014 Of course she won't, no reason for her to. And even if she did, what does that change? I mean, you are just torturing yourself by trying to get that out of her and the more you do, the more she'll resist. So stop. If she admitted it and acknowledge it then that would be a path for change and reconciliation. I've acknowledged my own and am willing to change. But I see your point. Anyway, I have a date tonight with someone else. Not trying to get 'over' her. I was simply invited which is cool.
Simon Phoenix Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 If she admitted it and acknowledge it then that would be a path for change and reconciliation. I've acknowledged my own and am willing to change. But I see your point. Anyway, I have a date tonight with someone else. Not trying to get 'over' her. I was simply invited which is cool. The fact that she's unwilling to change should be telling then, should it not? But yeah, trying to bully a confession out of her isn't going to make her attracted to you. It will make her think that you're a jackass, whether you actually are or not. But yeah, shining the bright light on her and interrogating her at the police station is not the way to go.
cavalier99 Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 (edited) If she admitted it and acknowledge it then that would be a path for change and reconciliation. I've acknowledged my own and am willing to change. But I see your point. Anyway, I have a date tonight with someone else. Not trying to get 'over' her. I was simply invited which is cool. FCK changing for the b*tch that dumped you and stomped all over your heart until it was a bloody mess. Did u forget? Stop being a pussy. Her loss. She is nothing now. Cav Edited August 1, 2014 by cavalier99
Author Biscous Posted August 1, 2014 Author Posted August 1, 2014 FCK changing for the b*tch that dumped you and stomped all over your heart until it was a bloody mess. Did u forget? Stop being a pussy. Her loss. She is nothing now. Cav I was more of the dick in this case, but I admitted it and owned up to it. I tried to change but she has emotional issues. But yeah I feel you. The fact that she's unwilling to change should be telling then, should it not? But yeah, trying to bully a confession out of her isn't going to make her attracted to you. It will make her think that you're a jackass, whether you actually are or not. But yeah, shining the bright light on her and interrogating her at the police station is not the way to go. Makes sense. You and cav up in this
cavalier99 Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 (edited) I was more of the dick in this case, but I admitted it and owned up to it. I tried to change but she has emotional issues. But yeah I feel you. Makes sense. You and cav up in this Sorry man. BU'S suck. But even if you were a dick it doesn't matter. She made up her mind. You need to greive then eventually forget about it. It is a long arduous road. But you can get to the holy grail of recovery!!! 100 percent indifference!!! This is the goal. Don't lose sight of it. Nothing else matters. I barley remember the pain of the BU that brought me to LS. Got over a 8 year RS with 6 months hard Har core NC. And I thought i was going to die..I didnt. Will probably marry the new girl I'm with. It is impossible not to recover. But using NC like a religion it is much faster. I talk to my ex occasioally and it is like checking in with my sister. I couldnt care less. Emotional bond is severed. I even hope new rs works out great. You can get there. Cav Edited August 1, 2014 by cavalier99 1
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 Lets do a little post BU translation... "I hate you!" = "I f*ckin love you and right now my emotions are all over the place and I feel hurt, insecure, unloved, my life has fallen apart and right now its you that done it!!" Thank you x lol 1
BC1980 Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 Oh what a way to start off my Friday. I try to solve and fix things with what I say, but she is still at a point of blaming me. I feel like I should have ignored these. Thoughts? This woman is clearly all over the place. Remember in your last thread everyone was telling you to go NC? She's toxic, and she won't deal with her own issues. You can't control someone else. You can't make them fix themselves. Time to let this one go. You are inviting more pain right now. 1
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 She's hurting! you both are! Dont take it too personally I said the same thing to my ex! I dont know the background of what happened with you guys but, unless you cheated or beat her or done something else totally unforgivable then this is nothing more than her hurting x
hoping2heal Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 Based on your other thread in the regular dating forum, I think you do some crazy making. Not that I think she should be sending you hate texts. She really should just hightail herself away from you and that would be best for all involved.
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