openipy Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 We just reached our six-month in our relationship and earlier this week we went to his friend's birthday party. I'm a shy person and sometimes I do not know how to interact with strangers, and I had discussed that with my boyfriend. Still he would always ask if I want to go hangout with his friends whenever he's going to. And he said it's okay if I do not want to go, but this time I insisted since I think I probably should at least try to get to know some of his friends at this point of our relationship. We went to the party together and I'm sure they are all nice people, but I just had a hard time maintaining conversation with them there were like 30 people, and I probably only talked to 5 or 6... I can tell he was trying to engage me in conversation :-| after the party he told me he was glad I decided to go, since many are his coworkers and are people he spends a lot of time with. However I don't feel like going again. It's not I don't want to know them, but I feel like my due to my anxiety my boyfriend was keeping an eye on me the whole time so that I won't be left alone nervous and don't know what to do. That was so sweet of him but I feel like he won't be enjoying his time as much if I'm around because of that. He said it's okay but I'm not so sure!! What should I do and how do I get better at socializing ? Please give me some advices!!!
J2911 Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 It's hard to overcome shyness for sure but there are ways to practice this . Next time your in a grocery store line and it's a long wait then look over to the person in front or behind you and smile and say hello , how are you ? It helps to overcome socialization skills over time you may be a lot more comfortable around social gatherings . . 1
Assasda Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 Yeah, I totally agree with the other poster about the grocery line. Try talking to as much people as you can. Try having small talk with your neighbor. Try saying hello to people you see everyday. Just try to cultivate a life of friendliness and approach-ability and that may help you with your shyness. Hope this helps 1
Beachead Posted August 2, 2014 Posted August 2, 2014 I agree with the others. I kid you not, I have practiced smiling in front of a mirror. Then, I have practiced holding eye contact and smiling to strangers in public. Some of them respond really well and we even engage in conversation. Once you get this, try adding "How are you?" if they smile back, then go from there. Sounds stupid and 90's sitcom like but trust me it works and the more you do it, the easier it'll be. Goodluck Beachead
Dork Vader Posted August 2, 2014 Posted August 2, 2014 Talk to your boy friend about your fears an be honest. He seems to care enough that he'd love to help. Don't feel like you're a burdon. Trust me if he loves you you are far from it. If he loves you he'll be understanding and try to help you through it. You're likely going to have to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Getting over shyness/social anxiety almost requires that. I know what you are going through. I went through it as well.. But it's a lot easier when you have the support of a person who loves you.
torturedartist Posted August 2, 2014 Posted August 2, 2014 We just reached our six-month in our relationship and earlier this week we went to his friend's birthday party. I'm a shy person and sometimes I do not know how to interact with strangers, and I had discussed that with my boyfriend. Still he would always ask if I want to go hangout with his friends whenever he's going to. And he said it's okay if I do not want to go, but this time I insisted since I think I probably should at least try to get to know some of his friends at this point of our relationship. We went to the party together and I'm sure they are all nice people, but I just had a hard time maintaining conversation with them there were like 30 people, and I probably only talked to 5 or 6... I can tell he was trying to engage me in conversation :-| after the party he told me he was glad I decided to go, since many are his coworkers and are people he spends a lot of time with. However I don't feel like going again. It's not I don't want to know them, but I feel like my due to my anxiety my boyfriend was keeping an eye on me the whole time so that I won't be left alone nervous and don't know what to do. That was so sweet of him but I feel like he won't be enjoying his time as much if I'm around because of that. He said it's okay but I'm not so sure!! What should I do and how do I get better at socializing ? Please give me some advices!!! I tend to be fairly shy myself, and one thing that has always helped me open up and be sociable is... wait for it... Alcohol! You didn't mention if you're old enough to drink yet. The age thing never stopped me when I was younger, though I'm not suggesting you break any laws if you're not 21. And that's the only simple answer I can give you. Well, I could give you another one-word answer... wait for it... Therapist! And he/she is probably going to suggest you get on a pharmaceutical that will have an effect in calming your social anxiety, not unlike that of... wait for it... Alcohol! Seriously, I've always been a very shy person, though I've gotten much better. I'd bet you'll get better in time. Until then, why not employ a little quick-fix like... You know what I'm going to say, don't you? Wait for it... Alcohol!
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