2Dokie5 Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 Hello everyone, I am going to share a recent experience of mine with you guys which has been driving me crazy for the past 3 weeks. The story is quite big but worth reading because you might meet someone like that in your life. So my story begins a year ago, last summer to be exact, where I met this beautiful woman. I am 26, she is 28. Her life was a living hell when I met her! No money, no job, an ex who would turn up only when he had a need for sex, she was on pills ,both birth control and depression pills, and she had been through bulimia and anorexia during those 2.5 years she was with him. Well I fell in love with her not because she was beautiful but because she seemed a really nice person who's been through a lot and deserved something better, someone to be there for her! That's the reason of a relationship in my mind. I was so crazy about her that I even tought that she could be ''the one'' in a couple of years and really couldn't see any end to this relationship. Everything was perfect until 3 months ago where we had our first and only up to that time big fight. I know that some people have strange beliefs and customs but mercury under the bed as well as magnets, salt and candles in order to keep anything evil away? What am I a vampire?? I even found out that she had either burned or given away any present me or my family had given her because she was afraid that there might have been a spell or something on those items! Anyway I was about to break up with her when she started crying her eyes out telling me how much she loved me and needed me in her life, so after a few days I admitted to myself that I still loved her and decided to give us another chance putting aside all this madness. A month later at the beginning of June I found a new job but had to move away for a few months. That was ok though because she was about to come with me for those months so we wouldn't be appart. Long story short, she dumped me 2 weeks later, saying that she can't wait any longer, that she is already 28 and she had been waiting since she was 20 in long distance relationships. What did I do? I left everything and I mean everything job,friends,family just to go back to her and say how much I loved her. All I found was a stranger telling me that even though I was back for her that wouldn't change the fact that she couldn't feel anything for me anymore. No emotions nothing. Next day I went to get my stuff from her appartment and she's back to normal asking me if I was OK and that I was very beautiful! I was so pissed that moment that I threw salt in her face in an ironic way wishing her best of luck and left. Three weeks later I've tried everything, dating other girls, deleting facebook etc, deleting phone numbers and msgs but nothing the pain I feel just won't go away. I'm so confused that I don't even know why I'm crying anymore! How can it hurt so much after all she's done? Even though girls are hitting on me daily my self confidence is so low that I do nothing, not even getting phone numbers, except stalking her on facebook everytime I am home alone. Sometimes I feel that I can't deal with this, I don't know how to and that I'm the one going crazy! I really don't know what to do anymore to feel better. A friendly advise from someone would be really helpful guys. Many thanks for reading my story.
Dork Vader Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 Okay it is one thing to have beliefs in other things that we deem strange. But it is entirely different to be so disillusioned that you burn every gift family gives out of the belief they have spells. This woman is NOT mentally stable and has some very serious mental issues going on. It goes well beyond depression. From what you have said it seems that she has some serious Class 2 mental disorders. I'm not a psychologist. But I am OCD and I do know that Class 2 mental disorders are insanely hard to treat. When people have class 2 mental disorder things like OCPD, Psychosis and so on. They have no idea something is wrong. That is what makes changing it hard. If you love her by all means stay with her. But you're going to have to get into a psychologist ASAP. You are also likely going to be dealing with this the rest of your life. That is something you are going to have to accept and really understand. By accept and understand you need to find out exactly what is going on with her. Understand the diagnosis and accept it. Could you have a relationship with her again? It is entirely possible. But based off of what you have said.. I can not even give you any remote advice on how to approach it or how she will react. All I can say is good luck. But you really need to think about this one a lot.
loversquarrel Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 Get out now while you can. I am not kidding, I am speaking from experience. I was so freaked out by your post I literally thought you had been describing my ex. She would have the emotional outbursts just as you describe, she didn't have any weird kind of superstitions, but she did lie about being terminally ill. As much as I grew to care for and love her, I just couldn't deal with the emotional roller coaster and the lies. She too had bouts of bulemia. Many underlying issues, I wouldn't be surprised if she had suffered some sort of sexual trauma.
OwMyEyeball Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 Sorry for your suffering. Other than her beauty and "niceness" what other qualities were you attracted to? What makes her so special?
Author 2Dokie5 Posted August 1, 2014 Author Posted August 1, 2014 I was attracted to simple stuff like how fun she used to be, how she was not hysterically jealous, how we used to sit down and talk about every problem etc. Above all I was happy that when I was returning home at the end of the day no matter how good or bad a day was I had this hug which made me forget all my problems. The ''I am here for you no matter what'' kind of hug.
Author 2Dokie5 Posted August 1, 2014 Author Posted August 1, 2014 Okay it is one thing to have beliefs in other things that we deem strange. But it is entirely different to be so disillusioned that you burn every gift family gives out of the belief they have spells. This woman is NOT mentally stable and has some very serious mental issues going on. It goes well beyond depression. From what you have said it seems that she has some serious Class 2 mental disorders. I'm not a psychologist. But I am OCD and I do know that Class 2 mental disorders are insanely hard to treat. When people have class 2 mental disorder things like OCPD, Psychosis and so on. They have no idea something is wrong. That is what makes changing it hard. If you love her by all means stay with her. But you're going to have to get into a psychologist ASAP. You are also likely going to be dealing with this the rest of your life. That is something you are going to have to accept and really understand. By accept and understand you need to find out exactly what is going on with her. Understand the diagnosis and accept it. Could you have a relationship with her again? It is entirely possible. But based off of what you have said.. I can not even give you any remote advice on how to approach it or how she will react. All I can say is good luck. But you really need to think about this one a lot. I still care because I don't want to see this year as a lie or a complete waste, there were also a lot of good times.Answering your question no I couldn't be in a relationship with her for a couple of reasons. First of all I can't trust someone like her anymore.I will never be able to ''build'' on this relationship if there's no trust. Furthermore, even if I tried to help her there are quite a few things that I can't change. For example, I can't change the fact that her godmother shares the same strange beliefs and customs and influences her in many ways. There is always going to be some outside influence on her.
MuffMan6969 Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 All I can say is it was a good thing she was on pills. Especially birth control pills. I know this is a difficult time for you right now, but there is a whole world out for you. This will pass soon and be thankful that you have your whole life ahead of you. Sounds as if you are a very good, caring person and you will look back on this relationship someday and be relieved that you found and eventually married a person that loves you back. Hang in there.
Author 2Dokie5 Posted August 2, 2014 Author Posted August 2, 2014 All I can say is it was a good thing she was on pills. Especially birth control pills. I know this is a difficult time for you right now, but there is a whole world out for you. This will pass soon and be thankful that you have your whole life ahead of you. Sounds as if you are a very good, caring person and you will look back on this relationship someday and be relieved that you found and eventually married a person that loves you back. Hang in there. Thanks a million for your support! Your words helped me realize that I don't deserve all of this and I should stop punishing my self. I'll use the NC rule from now on. Thanks again!
Author 2Dokie5 Posted August 2, 2014 Author Posted August 2, 2014 Get out now while you can. I am not kidding, I am speaking from experience. I was so freaked out by your post I literally thought you had been describing my ex. She would have the emotional outbursts just as you describe, she didn't have any weird kind of superstitions, but she did lie about being terminally ill. As much as I grew to care for and love her, I just couldn't deal with the emotional roller coaster and the lies. She too had bouts of bulemia. Many underlying issues, I wouldn't be surprised if she had suffered some sort of sexual trauma. You are 100% right. You can't deal with those kind of situations no matter how much you care for someone. The only solution is to walk out of this and move forward with your life asap. Many thanks for your support, your words helped alot!
Moonborn Posted August 2, 2014 Posted August 2, 2014 I was attracted to simple stuff like how fun she used to be, how she was not hysterically jealous, how we used to sit down and talk about every problem etc. Above all I was happy that when I was returning home at the end of the day no matter how good or bad a day was I had this hug which made me forget all my problems. The ''I am here for you no matter what'' kind of hug. There is plenty of women in this world who can give you exactly what you described. I know it's hard to think about that now. But please do try to move on, stay NC and allow time to heal you.
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