How to know if they're just looking for one thing.

[WhiskeyJack]

I'm just curious what the clues would be to indicate that your date is only looking for sex? Will people continue to go on dates with you in the hopes of just getting sex, then bailing?

[smackie9]

Nowadays most are pretty open about it or do fish around with conversation to see if you are on board or what you are looking for.

 

Are your dates bailing on you? It may not have anything to do with wanting just sex.

[WhiskeyJack]

I'm just getting into dating again and not a one night stand person. So I have a rule on how many dates with one person that I'll wait for sex. I just want to make sure that I'm aware of actions that indicated they just want me for sex so I can save myself the time and effort.

[MuffMan6969]

Im curious on what is your "rule" before you have sex?

I can understand that you are not a "one night" stand person, but if you spend the night together and have sex again the next "morning" it really wouldnt be a one "night" thing.

Go have fun.

[PegNosePete]

I don't think a "rule" is a good idea. Better to just go with your gut. Do it when it feels right. Ask questions, listen to his responses as well as watching his actions and body language. This is a better way to determine someone's intentions than sticking to some rule or other.

[sillyanswer]

I'm just curious what the clues would be to indicate that your date is only looking for sex? Will people continue to go on dates with you in the hopes of just getting sex, then bailing?

 

If he's more interested in late night dates that start at your house and less interested in a daytime date in a public place then the signs aren't good, but I don't think there's a universally definitive set of clues.

 

Even hindsight doesn't help, because even when a guy bails "after sex" you can't tell if "because he got sex" was the reason (although it seems that many people assume this).

[WhiskeyJack]

Thanks everyone for the responses.

 

My *rule* isn't a "I'll wait x amount of dates before" kind of thing. It's just more of a "get to know the guy and feel comfortable" kind of rule.

 

I'll start looking at his behaviours and just relax about it. Thanks!

[hasaquestion]

Eh. Lots of guys don't even know themselves what they want at the beginning. Its an inherently risky business. Not to be depressing or anything.

[smackie9]

Just go by their actions, pretty simple. A serious guy is willing to invest his time, and make effort to see you, talk to you, introduce you to friends, family, etc. and doesn't push for sex, basically is following your actions instead.

[AnneT1985]

I have found most people are upfront about this sort of thing right away. You will know quickly I am sure. Best of luck to you! xx