blind_otter Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by d'Arthez As acceptable or unacceptable for females as it is for males. Whatever your moral views on sex. There is no justification to be given, whatever standpoint you have, for a theory of morality that denies the basic equality of the sexes, regarding the way they are allowed to express their sexuality. Word. Honestly I think less of a guy if I know he has random, meaningless encounters....so I am at least equal in the way I apply my personal moral views.
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 24, 2005 Author Posted February 24, 2005 BUT THE THING IS THE GUY STRCTLY TELLS U HE WANTS NOTHING BUT SEX isnt that a turn off...
savethedrama4allama Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup BUT THE THING IS THE GUY STRCTLY TELLS U HE WANTS NOTHING BUT SEX isnt that a turn off... For me, yeah- but we can't tell you how you should feel.
Podna Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by d'Arthez Why should she have to be popular? If you have standards of some sort and you stick and live by them, there is nothing wrong. Whatever these standards are. Whatever she believes, it is not an invalid belief. I agree. The statement about the popularity was meant to convey that not everyone holds (ideologically) with the examples that I gave. I threw in the “vocal” statement because, in my experience, women in particular don’t like to be called sluts because they hold with a different ideology. Originally posted by d'Arthez Problems arise when standards don't match, or for example when men believe they are allowed to f*ck around before they get married, but somehow expect to marry a virgin. I agree. Unfortunately all too often that very thing happens. Guys will gladly partake in a booty call, but once done, they somehow hold the woman in lower regard because she acquiesced. That is a double standard I feel.
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 24, 2005 Author Posted February 24, 2005 i dont wanna date him i am sure we were on the same page.. no drama..no expectations.. but its just not nice to hear from someone that they wudnt date u..
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 24, 2005 Author Posted February 24, 2005 by the way..who keeps the condoms? guy or girl?
blind_otter Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup i dont wanna date him i am sure we were on the same page.. no drama..no expectations.. but its just not nice to hear from someone that they wudnt date u.. If there are no expectations why would it be upsetting to hear they wouldn't date you? BOTH people should have condoms. jeez.
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 24, 2005 Author Posted February 24, 2005 DO I BECOEM A SLUT IF I SLEEP WITH HIM?
d'Arthez Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by Podna I agree. Unfortunately all too often that very thing happens. Guys will gladly partake in a booty call, but once done, they somehow hold the woman in lower regard because she acquiesced. That is a double standard I feel. So very true! It is a double standard. I 'think' women who participate in booty calls, aren't as harsh as the men. Sure they might not consider the man relationship material, but that is something else. Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup DO I BECOEM A SLUT IF I SLEEP WITH HIM? Depends on your moral views. If you are okay with FWB or one night stands, no problem. If however you do have a problem with the forementioned, you might want to reconsider your viewpoints. And no, you don't become a slut based upon one action. Added: You become only a slut if you willfully and knowingly disrepect other people's commitments. Or act upon: "It has certain genitalia, and therefore I must try them."
Podna Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup DO I BECOEM A SLUT IF I SLEEP WITH HIM? IMHO. NO. Not if you want to. If you do it because you want him to like you, then I think you need to rethink it. But you still would not be a "slut", just misguided.
savethedrama4allama Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup DO I BECOEM A SLUT IF I SLEEP WITH HIM? How old are you? Its not like the government is going to send you some Slut badge in the mail. We had an insane debate about what "slut" even means or entails. You are whatever you think you are if you sleep with him. Others will have their own opinions. It is not their business. Do you want to sleep with him?
Pocky Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup DO I BECOEM A SLUT IF I SLEEP WITH HIM? Do you really think you're ready to sleep with someone so soon after you've just ended a five year relationship and still seem to be emotionally tied to your ex-boyfriend? I guess I just don't understand how one week you're practically falling apart because your boyfriend left you and now the next week you're considering sleeping with your friend.
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 24, 2005 Author Posted February 24, 2005 i like him sexually best kisser ever.. we have common friends.. we hook up friday or saturdya night after the party or in the party....and go back to his place... i am just having a tough time opening up... coz i have slept with only 1 man yet... i like him in a flirteous sort of a way... i am 23
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 24, 2005 Author Posted February 24, 2005 i didnt end it..HE ended it... yes i am still not all together...but a micheavious side of me wants to have this adventure...
blind_otter Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup i didnt end it..HE ended it... yes i am still not all together...but a micheavious side of me wants to have this adventure... Wow. I dunno. If you're still hurting from your breakup with your ex, you need to address that issue before you attempt any further entanglements. It just sounds like you are confused about what you want and why you want it.
d'Arthez Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup i like him sexually best kisser ever.. we have common friends.. we hook up friday or saturdya night after the party or in the party....and go back to his place... i am just having a tough time opening up... coz i have slept with only 1 man yet... i like him in a flirteous sort of a way... i am 23 Why would you want to do it? Sexual experience is not dependant on how many partners one has had, nor is the number of partners indicative of sexual technique or anything. Why do you think there should be anything wrong with you, because you slept with only one man at the age of 23? You will be hurting yourself this way, if you are not the booty-call type. You asked the question, so you can be certain you are not the booty-call type.
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 24, 2005 Author Posted February 24, 2005 no i dont think i am confused... i want to be with my ex more than ever.. thats wht i really want.. but meanwhile i want to enjoy my single life...so this..!
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted February 24, 2005 Author Posted February 24, 2005 how will i know unless i try it.. how will i know if i am the booty call type or not...
d'Arthez Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 I can understand you want to enjoy your single life now at the moment. Nothing strange with that, but if you are uncomfortable with the idea of having or being a booty call, why would you try to do something you are clearly not comfortable with? You know already. What are your views on FWB-relationships? One Night stands? Have you ever suggested to a friend they should try one of these? Or to avoid these relationships. I think you have talked with a few your friends in your past about these relationships. Never do it, if you still feel confused. You want to be with your ex forever. However at the moment he is your ex, after a long relationship. Hence why we write we feel you are still confused. The break-up is still fresh, aand you seem to want to occupy your mind with anything but the ex at the moment. That's unhealthy, because you would not take the time to heal from your relationship. I really have the impression from the way you write your posts, that you would get too attached emotionally. That gives more drama, which you don't need at the moment.
Pocky Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Personally, I think you're making a mistake, but you do whatever you want. It's going to suck ass if this screws you up even more emotionally, but you don't appear to be someone that really wants advice from people since you rarely listen to it. If you can't help yourself then I don't know how we're supposed to help you. Good luck. I wish you the best.
blind_otter Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup how will i know unless i try it.. how will i know if i am the booty call type or not... Ugh. Do it already! Why are you seeking approval for your decision? You are an adult, if you want to do it do it, deal with the consequences, move on.
HotCaliGirl Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 A booty call is like having a slice of your favorite cake without worrying about the calories. That's all there is to it.
savethedrama4allama Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup how will i know unless i try it.. how will i know if i am the booty call type or not... Questions like that are what inspired my question, "how old are you."
iceisles Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Are booty calls always physical in nature? Like, sometimes I get "phone booty calls" from a few of my close girl friends looking to have a little fun. If that's considered a booty call, then I guess I'm a pro at them. Lol.
Podna Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup none of the reasons are valid though. Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup BUT THE THING IS THE GUY STRCTLY TELLS U HE WANTS NOTHING BUT SEX isnt that a turn off... Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup but its just not nice to hear from someone that they wudnt date u.. Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup DO I BECOEM A SLUT IF I SLEEP WITH HIM! Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup yes i am still not all together...but a micheavious side of me wants to have this adventure... Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup want to be with my ex more than ever..thats wht i really want.. It doesn’t sound to me like you are really ready. I would think twice about it. If you already think it’s ‘dirty’ or ‘mischievous’ it may be that you will really beat up on yourself when it’s over. You don’t need that kind of heartache. Also as a guy, I would feel really guilty about it because I would feel that I had taken advantage of someone while there defenses were weak.
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