Versacehottie Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 hmmmmm, she is kinda being dishonest if she is continuing to text you but claims she doesn't want to date you otherwise she'd be a two timer. Idk, but that doesn't seem to line up. Sounds like she likes the ego boost or attention. Or to make sure her backup plan (you) doesn't get too far away. To be fair to her, perhaps she said that comment to get you to back off a bit but keeps texting going with you in hopes that your "game" will improve. In any case, on one hand I would keep talking to her if you are ABSOLUTELY 100% confident and kinda reverse put her in friend zone--whole point is that it could turn around at some point but if someone gave me that feedback (basically telling you you're 2nd choice!) I wouldn't hang around like a lovesick puppy. If her story is 100% true then why is she waiting around for a commitment from some guy when you are right there interested in dating her? Because she likes him better! So on the other hand, with that information, I don't like her wishy-washy nature and would say that she is free to contact when and if her situation changes to see if you're still available and interested. There is something to be said for taking a strong position when someone is quite free to tell you that you are 2nd best to them. Good luck!
44tt Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Are you saying that my round about way of texting was saying "are you interested"? Because I never asked specifically. My text was along the lines of, "how are you, if you don't want to talk, just let me know. I AM interested in you but a little new to this texting game (I am) and I don't want to be a bother, we have had very open communication so far so just talk to me." I might very well be blowing this out of proportion but my instincts say otherwise. In my experience, if a woman has interest, they like to communicate. We had very open communication the other day with a LOT of personal questions. Sort of our of character for her to just bail but I guess I might not know her. Regardless, I plan to go have some fun Fri and see what the weather brings. Apparently my tight cowboy jeans and Tshirt works so I will go fishing for something....lol Dork, thanks for your replies. Obviously I have some attachment to this one. I am usually not this held up on one woman. A lot more than just looks here. I would let out statements like "just let me know" since it kind of has a needy vibe to it. So try to see if she is interested by asking her out and she if she has an excuse. If she does then she is probably not interested and if she doesn't then she is interested
smackie9 Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Just because a woman continues communication doesn't always mean romantic interest. This could easily turn into a friends zone thing.
Author bobjon Posted August 5, 2014 Author Posted August 5, 2014 Well, obviously I am quite confused right now. On one hand if she is not that interested, I DON'T want to be a so-so to her. I will bump her and right to the next. I really honestly do feel that I am not up to her physical standards or I would already be in. Here previous dude was a work of art but also quite the piece of work mentally and the fact that she "loved him" may tell me something important. Like she values physical traits more than everything else and though I have a confidence about me in a room that women notice, I have sandy redish hair and 6ft tall with lighter complexion. I am quite thrown with this wedding coming up in 2 weeks. I just mentioned to her that we all survived the bach party. She asks me if I am going to the wedding. I really kind of wonder if she was going to take a date if I was not going but... I just hit her and tell her she should bring a date. She says she will probably just go with her parents if she goes. Either way, I am trying to cut off contact clean. She texted me last night a 3am a little joke we were talking about. To be honest, I think she knows we get along really well but torqued that I am not a 10 to her. I am sort of annoyed with myself because I sort of enjoy our texting banter but I know cutting her off is probably best.
Assasda Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 You already screwed yourself a lot man. My advice is to move on and see other women. Try not to be weak and ask weak questions man. Seriously value yourself. Read some self-esteem books. But, move on
smackie9 Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 BTW it's not that you are not "up to her standards" if she isn't attracted to you, she isn't attracted to you. It is what it is. Don't let rejection deflate your ego.
preraph Posted August 5, 2014 Posted August 5, 2014 When women get a whiff that a guy doesn't think he's good enough for her, that's usually it. The conventional wisdom is if they don't think they're good enough for you, they probably aren't. I don't think there are truly that many really confident people out there, but if you're not, you better learn to fake it because lack of confidence is something that is a deal breaker for most men and women. We've all been hurt and hurt badly. A winner processes it and gets back up and goes back into the ring.
Author bobjon Posted August 6, 2014 Author Posted August 6, 2014 (edited) I guess maybe I read too much into this situation. I still kind of think if we are together again, she might feel that attraction she felt the first time we met. I am kind of a different person in person rather than texting I think. As far as confidence, I know in most settings I AM! I actually have to watch it because my ex says I border on arrogant but she now likes women so I will void that. I am very smart so I tend to inform and correct and though I usually am just trying to chat, it comes off as arrogant. I know I draw attention mostly from my male friends. I am rarely ignored when I walk in a room. Same can't be said for women. I have never figured out if I am intimidating to them or just a turn off. I know one cutie back in the day wanted to jump me but later said I seemed unapproachable......CRAP!!! Problem is with lesser women, I am more confident knowing I can do better so I just don't give a flip. That does NOT mean I am a prick. I am actually nice to everyone and it has been a problem. Lesser women chase me because I don't want to stiff arm them. Problem is I know I would not be happy with these women. Not purely physical but I need a great personality and smarts to we mingle good together. Now with hotter women, I apparently don't attract them in spades so I tend to just mute out their talks and ignore them, especially if they hide in corners with their BFFs and talk about people. Hate it. This women I met almost got the stiff arm fo show! I was actually keeping chat short with her figuring she would walk off and that would be that. She got attached in a hurry and I sort of liked it. Problem is I know I am going to end up insecure around her. She is the type that every man would single out and try to talk to. With the wedding coming up, if she is around, I plan to make eye contact and wave, that is IT! Pretty much ignore her. If she does not engage, so be it. She already knows I am interested so no point in driving that home. What I think will happen is she will want to talk and probably dance, which I suck at. And of all things, a wedding where I know everyone.... Pressure is on.... I will find a way to bomb it...lol;) Edited August 6, 2014 by bobjon
smackie9 Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 ah alcohol will be involved so your chances are good.
Author bobjon Posted August 6, 2014 Author Posted August 6, 2014 ;);) Boats and hoes.... She just texted me thinking she saw me driving. Kept it short and sweet and left her hanging...I gunna flip the tables on this one...
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