todreaminblue Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 most females respond positively to negging.i I dont think positivity is feeling bad about yourself.....and that is negging it is meant to bring another down i have been negged(didnt know at the time that is what it was ) and it didnt bring anything positive to the surface......other than for me to refuse to dance or date them i just thought they were arrogant and mean 1
serial muse Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 i I dont think positivity is feeling bad about yourself.....and that is negging it is meant to bring another down i have been negged(didnt know at the time that is what it was ) and it didnt bring anything positive to the surface......other than for me to refuse to dance or date them i just thought they were arrogant and mean Yes. I remember getting negged back in the day before I knew that's what it was called. I was just confused and it made me uncomfortable and that was the end of the interaction for me because I stopped enjoying myself. 4
serial muse Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 im not good looking but jerks in my company who are good looking neg all the time right in front of me. the ladies can't get enough of it. nope, doubt it, sorry. no more hijacking the nice lady's thread. 4
Winterina Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 If you guys were in your early or mid twenties I could see it as something related to being inexperienced and not knowing human psychology that well, not being aware of what your words and actions mean to the others in the context, etc. But he is 44. If he does not know it by now he will never know it. This in itself is not a problem as it probably sounded differently in his head than in yours. What would be the problem for me is the indication of it - everything tells us something about the person. Does it mean he is immature and does not understand that a woman of 48 does not need or appreciate those kinds of comments? Is he insecure and has a need to put you down by using jokes as hidden messages? What else will he do that is alike that comment? Etc.
writergal Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 Whatever happened to good manners on dates anymore? Using straightforward compliments, asking questions, listening, joking, sharing laughs and stories. Now that's a good date. But pointing out a woman's age and then saying she's old on a first date? Not a second date clincher. Men who "neg" deserve to be "nagged" by women. Seriously, backhanded compliments is not a nice way to attract someone. It just makes the backhander look insecure and mean. 3
rewl Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 im not good looking but jerks in my company who are good looking neg all the time right in front of me. the ladies can't get enough of it. I do it all the time, chicks love it.
RonaldS Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 If I had any confidence that you've ever gotten laid in your life, I'd ask you about your success rate. But I don't. Too many experts, too little experience. 1
GravityMan Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 His remark goes beyond sarcasm/biting and well into rude and insensitive territory. Not to mention that his comment just ain't funny. This may sound harsh, but the guy made an idiotic decision to say that. Your average 20-something knows better than to say something like that. Generally speaking, sarcasm in general is quite polarizing. Personally, I think good, timely sarcasm is great. But there are people out there who don't like sarcasm at all. While it's important to be yourself, if you're the sarcastic and/or biting type it might be a good idea to tread a bit lightly on the sarcasm until you two get to know each other a bit better. Overdoing it may do you more harm than good. The other person might get offended. It doesn't seem that you two are compatible. IMO, having compatible senses of humor is, for most people, pretty important for overall compatibility. BTW, negging is dumb. It's not gonna work on any woman with an ounce of self-respect. 1
RonaldS Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 but you still agree that negging works? Time, place and audience.
Author Gaeta Posted July 31, 2014 Author Posted July 31, 2014 I do it all the time, chicks love it. So if we love it then why I have a hard time shaking it off? One more round of this and he's out, no matter how hot he is.
RonaldS Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 My problem with his comment is that it's just not funny. There is zero wit or creativity. If you're shooting for dumb joke, make it obvious that you're making a dumb joke. If it were me, I would have at least tried to go in a direction like this: You: I'm 48 Me: 'Wow...no way...that's crazy. So, what was dating like during Prohibition? Bet you had some duds.' I mean, it's stupid, but it's at least got a tiny smidge of creative, humorous thought. And you do to have to be George Carlin to come up with material like that.
Author Gaeta Posted July 31, 2014 Author Posted July 31, 2014 I am thinking negging has to be a reaction (conscious or unconscious) to something. It's to get back some type of power. As I see it he is the one who lacked self-confidence and the negging was to lower me to better raise himself. 2
Author Gaeta Posted July 31, 2014 Author Posted July 31, 2014 you are think about him so much you wrote a whole entire thread on about him. he is effective. Nah, I thought it was an interesting topic and coming on here is like fun socializing for me.
todreaminblue Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 you could have talked about so much else but you chose him. success for him. why did you join loveshack grx....bear with me and be completely honest....deb 1
rewl Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 (edited) So if we love it then why I have a hard time shaking it off? One more round of this and he's out, no matter how hot he is. Well, I've obviously never tried it on a post-menopausal woman, but I don't see a reason for the sleepless nights and this thread. He just made one off-the-cuff remark, it's not like he spent the entire date putting you down, now THAT would be worth reading about on here. The old women that think it's funny are usually married. The fact that you're 49 + single perhaps makes you more sensitive to age jokes, you might think "omg omg I'm getting old and I'm single and will die alone omg" etc. I would just tell you to ignore those comments. tl;dr a little bit of self-confidence is needed, after all, you DID say you're good-looking Edited July 31, 2014 by rewl
todreaminblue Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 i spend most of my day jumping through hoops surround by fire and encouraging ladies to get abortions and participating in eating competitions. needed a change of pace. and you think that is humorous to post?
todreaminblue Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 its hilarious. don't you agree? not in the slightest and i have a goofy sense of humor....but then you think negging gets you girls.....i find that to be slightly humorous.....ironic humor......deb
FortunateSon Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 Gaeta, your date sounds immature and insecure...with a very adolescent, simple sense of humor. As mentioned, no wit or creativity... 1
Author Gaeta Posted July 31, 2014 Author Posted July 31, 2014 Well, I've obviously never tried it on a post-menopausal woman, but I don't see a reason for the sleepless nights and this thread. He just made one off-the-cuff remark, it's not like he spent the entire date putting you down, now THAT would be worth reading about on here. The old women that think it's funny are usually married. The fact that you're 49 + single perhaps makes you more sensitive to age jokes, you might think "omg omg I'm getting old and I'm single and will die alone omg" etc. I would just tell you to ignore those comments. tl;dr a little bit of self-confidence is needed, after all, you DID say you're good-looking haha nice try but you ain't gonna get to me Thanks for the laugh.
preraph Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 Glad you gave it right back to him. You guys are probably not a match. I think Freud would find that entire conversation to be two people saying the truth, not two people making jokes. 3
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