Career & Health. So much detailed vent with details. Need guidance.

[youcanever]

I will repeat the intro about myself and tell how I feel, so maybe some of you fellas had same experience and help me out.

 

I am 24 year old guy. I am working full time as a mechanical engineer at a very well known american automotive company. This is a good status joy but salary is not that great. I am also having my masters degree and finished my first semetre with the grade I set for myself. I feel good about it.

 

On the other hand, my real dream is to become a pilot, so in april, I've applied for my national airline as a F/O candidate. There are almost 8000 people apply for this position every year and only 200 of them get picked. And then airline send these candidates to flight school for 18-24 months and after that they work for this airline with contract.

 

So, I wanted to give it a shot. I've delivered my documents in the mid of april. Then I've had my first skill test in the mid of june. In this stage, success rate is %60 for whoever applies. I've passed it. Then there was psychology interview with 2 german psychologists and one captain pilot in the mid of july. In this stage, success rate is %35. I've passed this one too.

 

Last friday, I've got an e-mail and they are inviting me to final stage, committee interview. I will take it next week, tuesday. This is the last stage and last year the passing rate was %50-%60 but this year, lots of candidates get failed, so this passing rate may be a lil higher like %60-%70. I don't know. If I pass this then there is health check-up and then I will wait for my invite for the flight academy.

 

I am very very excited and pretty scared guys. I've put my 4 months to this application and everything went great. I don't want to screw things up.

 

These are good parts of my life but these thoughts of failure takes my energy and somehow I don't feel ready for the interview even though I know I am a good candidate because I have mechanical engineering degree and having my masters degree on engineering and I really want this job and I am hardworking and persistent. I know that is what they are looking for.

 

On the other hand, last month, I've pushed myself too hard at gym and I feel like I have started heart-throb. I am not sure if this can happen due to hardcore sport but sometimes I feel my heart beating in my left chest and when I walk a lot of climb something, I get tired. This scared the chit out of me because this may come up in health checkup and I may fail due to that and I don't even know if this is fixable thing.

 

This also takes the most energy out of me.

 

I don't have a gf, I don't have much social circle. Even I can say, I have none. This is my weakness. Whenever I focus on a goal, I ignore everything in my life.

 

This was too much vent and I know you wish there is a cliff but I just needed to get this out of my chest.

 

I'd really appreciated some advice from you if you ever experiences feelings like these.