billybadass36 Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 My fiancee's roommate is a total slut. And she's annoying. And she's in our wedding. She's already bitching about it being an outdoor wedding at my parents' house (a house my dad and I just finished building on 80 gorgeous wooded acres between two lakes) because there's only the one house bathroom and we're renting port-a-potties for the guests (the nice ones with running water and such). The reason she's bitching about it is that she's got IBS or diverticulitis or some such ailment that puts her on the pot constantly (probably from having all manner of filthy men sticking it to her). She keeps making underhanded comments with the underlying theme being that I'm some redneck farmboy hack and we're having some bootleg wedding out in the country somewhere. Secretly I can't wait until she sees my parents' house because it's fricking gorgeous on a gorgeous piece of property and I did all the interior woodwork and tilework myself (thankyouverymuch - I fancy myself a bit of a carpenter although I'm a lawyer by trade) because my dad was very sick when we were building the house and my brother lives hundred miles away and they had no money to pay someone to do it. In short, I'm very proud of this house. My fiancee is in love with the place (and she loves going down there with me all the time), and it's a very special location for us, but her stupid roommate that's supposed to be close enough to her to be in thewedding is being a total bitch about the whole outdoor wedding idea. She also made an underhanded comment about our writing our own vows - "You guys aren't writing your own vows are you? I mean, you can't say anything that's going to make me gag while I'm up there..." This came shortly after her little whine fest about there being only one "flush toilet" on the property. I assured her that she could use the "flush toilet" as much as she wanted to, and I further assured her that since our wedding was all about HER, that I'd provide her with a rough draft or MY wedding vows to MY WIFE so that SHE can approve them before the ceremony. I know this is a bit of a rant, but this woman is also the self-proclaimed bachelorette czaress, and the last bachelorette party that this roommate attended, she ended up banging some random 21 year old guy in the bathroom of the hotel room the gals were staying in while 3 other women were trying to sleep in the room. It's giving me a bit of an ulcer. I want to punch her in her fat, slutty face, but since I fancy myself a bit of a gentleman of a badass, I'm trying my best to remain somewhat civil, and this is the only place I can vent...and over a pint with my boys. I am pist beyond all belief at this woman. Oh, and she's a preschool teacher. Nice.
Debster Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Ok, I can understand why you may be hurt and mad that your fiance's friend and roomate appears to be dissing the wedding that you and your fiance have picked. Also, it is none of her place to make a comment about your vows. I agree, she should just put a smile on her face and deal with it. I recently got married and believe me I know how much stress and everything is involved to plan a wedding and I know that any little comment made can be taking completely out of context because it is a sensitive matter. However, she is not the only one IMO who is behaving badly. I sense from your post that you have a ton of anger directed towards her and a lot of preconceived notions. I think you need to either try to calm your anger towards her for the betterment of your fiance (After all, she is HER friend and important enough in her eyes to be in the wedding). After all, I bet there are friends of yours that your fiance doesn't totally get along with. And unless your fiance is the only person you've slept with you shouldn't comment on her friend's sexual activities. That is for one, none of your business. Just like her comments about the vows. FOr the record, IBS and other problems dealing with going to the bathroom are NOT the result of her having sex. When you make a comment like that - it makes you look insensitive and idiotic. I have had friends who have had IBC, Crohns and other problems and it is VERY painful and uncomfortable. Sometimes they have to spend a lot of time in the bathroom and when they need to go, they need to go and can't wait in a long line. There is also the questions of her being embarrassed because of her condition. Instead of taking it as a personal affront to you and the house, and wedding - maybe you should try and see it from her side and at least try to reassure her that there will be enough toilets available and that you are doing your best to make sure that they are comfortable for the guests. BTW, I for one, wouldn't be too excited about getting all dressed up and then having to go to the bathroom in an porta potty. It may be wonderful for you and your fiance to have the wedding in a special place but at least try to consider it from a guest's point of view. Another thing to think about, everytime I was in a wedding, it ended up costing me $500 at least. Once you add in the cost for the dress, hosting a shower, wedding gift, getting your hair and makeup done, shoes, hotel night, etc.... The role of a bridesmaid is to help the bride and take care of things for her on the big day (and beforehand) so she can enjoy herself. Maybe, this friend should deserve a little more respect.
GirlDown Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 sounds like a huge attention whore...oh, and the other kind of whore too... i think she's jealous. and if she doesn't get over it, your fiancee needs to say something or you should refuse to have her in the wedding. i know you said they're obviously close enough that she's in the wedding, so if they are that close, there shouldn't be an issue asking what the problem is. a simple "things don't seem to be going the way you want, and since it's our wedding, we're not willing to change anything. maybe you would prefer not being in it. we don't want you to be so offended and put out on the biggest day of our lives, not to mention it will be very difficult for us to be happy when you are so vocally unhappy..." should do the trick. what a b*itch.
EC Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 She's a bachlorette, shes plays of that she likes being a bachlorette, but inside she is secretly dying that it is her having some bootleg wedding out in the country somewhere, or a meaningful relationship. She's jealous and thats why shes being a bitch.
bedhead Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 I agree that she has some issues!! The whole thing about thinking about the guests going to the bathroom in the porta..thing........uuummmmm...no. It's YOU and YOUR WIFE special day. You have it wherever you damn well please. I have been to mountain weddings that you have to go in one. And the last thing your thinking about when your in your dress squatting down is "man those selfish people, how dare they have me go to the bathroom here" it just doesn't happen. To tell you the truth, my friend actually started doing the same thing about giving more then her 2 cents into the wedding and bitching about things...well....she's not going to be in the wedding anymore. It is my special day and we will have it where we want it, what we want to do and what we want to buy our guest that come to the wedding and what goes in the middle of the stupid table!!!! (oops...sorry) my own issues.
savethedrama4allama Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 BBass, weren't we cleaning a gun for an assasination?
moimeme Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 The reason she's bitching about it is that she's got IBS or diverticulitis or some such ailment that puts her on the pot constantly (probably from having all manner of filthy men sticking it to her) That's not a very bright statement. Imagine getting the runs. NOW. Painful ones. Often. Without warning. Imagine how stressed you'd be being all dressed up fancy and instead of inside a nice building with lots of toilets, you may have to run across a big lawn in the middle of the ceremony if your IBS hits you. Now imagine that you've spent all this money on the dress and don't want to let your friend down. I don't think she's a bitch so much as she's probably sorry she ever agreed to do this, doesn't want to let your wife-to-be down, and so rather than expressing exactly that, she's being passive-aggressive. Debster had very good advice; after all, even though it's your day, nobody will give a flying fart about you and your wonderful wedding if they're unhappy and uncomfortable so it's also incumbent upon you to be a gracious host.
Author billybadass36 Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 Yeah, that was funny. I don't think I'm quite over that vtines day debacle. To those on the IBC/IBS/Crohn's crusade: sorry. The hyperbole in my rant may have offended some. It was in a self-described "rant". I'm just pissed off in general at this roommate of my fiancee's. And, no, it's not going to cost the bridesmaids a dime. My fiancee's sisters don't have two nickels to rub together, and my fiancee's father died five years ago. No Daddy Warbucks to open up the wallet for the wedding, and my parents are just doing what they can. We're footing the entire bill, including 4 bridesmaids dresses and 4 pairs of matching shoes. I spoke with my fiancee about it, and she talked with the roommate about the situation and set the record straight regarding the "facilities". Dammit, we're getting the sweet ass three unit fricking sanitary as hell trailer thing with actual stalls and sinks and stuff. It's totally decent and costing us a grand to boot. Everyone except this one bridesmaid/roommate thinks this is going to be a cool as hell wedding. One DJ we interviewed said, "Hey, I know this is a stupid question, but can I come to the wedding even if you don't go with me...sounds sweet." Now I don't know if he was just blowing smoke up my a## trying to make a deal, but I think it's going to be a blast. I guess I'll just shut the hell up and practice my smug "I told you so" smile for the night of the wedding when everyone's in shock at how sweet it is. I need a beer already.
savethedrama4allama Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 OK, we'll knock that roomate off and I'll be a bridesmaid. Those portacrappers sound sweet. Dress size 4, shoe size 6.5. I'll be waiting for the invitation in the mail.
Author billybadass36 Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 I'll run that by fiancee tonight. Will let you know.
savethedrama4allama Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 Tell her I can appreciate a good mobile john.
whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 OK well if I were you I'd go up to the Roommate from hell and tell her, look, you're part of this wedding for a reason...YOUR friend is marrying me and she's really happy...I understand that you have IBS and you may have some discomfort but please do not go around critizing our wedding plans, our vows and the fact that we want an outside wedding. IF you don't want to be part of our special day let us know and we'll find somebody else. We don't want someone in our wedding if they aren't going to be supportive of us and our choices. Then walk away. Don't say it rudely (as much as you dislike her you have make the peace because of your future wife) but firmly yet softly. She will get it then hopefully. Oh and warn all your ushers about her... Good luck and wow, your house sounds awesome! YOU should be proud of all the hard work that went into it!
Author billybadass36 Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 All but one of my ushers are married. The single one - I'm serving her up on a silver platter for him. He's a bit of a man whore, too, so it should be a match made in heaven....for one night anyway...
whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 OK well there ya go...Hopefully he'll keep her out of harms way and she won't go around saying stupid things to ruin your wedding and piss you off! When are you getting married? I don't recall ya putting that down. Oh, and she's a preschool teacher. Nice. You know that will come in handy someday if she really pisses you off and does something that really is just outrageous...
Author billybadass36 Posted February 25, 2005 Author Posted February 25, 2005 That's the day the "magic" will happen - between my buddy and the bridesmaid, that is.
whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 That's funny! Congrats and I'm sure ALL will go well!! Including her getting some!
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