bad breakup cant cope

[ameaningfulllife]

Hi. My "life partner" of 14 years broke up with me on Sunday evening. We have a child together and own a business together, which we are both employed. Things have not been good with us for a long time, and he had been acting more distant than usual. He sent me a breakup text, how he still loved me but we couldn't do this anymore, etc. In a way I agreed with him, since we have both have not been happy for a while. It was extra hard because he is my best friend. He is basically my only friend..... I have alot of anxiety and am an introvert so I have alot of trouble meeting new people, and then wanting to continue to build a friendship. Anyway, two days after the breakup he tells me that he is seeing someone else and that she has been "helping" him through the breakup. He admitted to putting himself on a dating site before we were even broke up, and I know that he broke up with me when he saw that he had interest from someone else.

I am in a very bad place emotionally right now. I can't get out of bed, I can eat very little, my guts feel like they have been ripped out. All I can think about is him with his new love interest. He had sex with her the day after we broke up.

I told him that I felt disrespected, that he would go out and meet new women so immediatly, isnt there supposed to be a grace period out of respect for the other person? He tells me that I should not hold back and I should go find happiness asap. He tells me, she is like bathing in a ray of sunshine, and I really should try it. This is a huge punch in the belly for me. I cant imagine pursuing someone else right now. I am a ****ing mess, I have no desire right now to ever see anyone again.

One of the worst things about it is he keeps texting me and telling me that I am his best friend and he loves me and that he is worried about me. Acting like he really cares about me while he is out ****ing other women.

And to top it off, I have to see him and talk to him because we have a child together, and we own a buisness together. We are talking about making arrangements for seperating of finances, but for now it is what it is and I have to cope. I am a single mom now and I need the money.

I have made the mistake of texting him, crying, telling him i miss him and love him and i wish we could have worked things out. He says that he will never get back together with me. Then goes on to tell me that I am beautiful, the most eligable bachelorette in the area, I can have any guy I want, etc. I literally feel like I am about to die right now. This is the worst pain that I have ever felt, I dont know how I am going to get through this. And like I said, I have no friends. I invested everything in him. All my friends disappeared a long time ago.... So I am at this alone, trying to cope, trying to eat and sleep and not cry all day long. My poor son is 7 and all he knows is mama is sick, she doesnt feel good. I need to be able to take care of him. He is special needs and homeschools. He has epilepsy and that in itself puts me in an almost constant state of anxiety. I dont know what to do. I miss him so much and I cant stop thinking about him having fun while I suffer. I am a ****ing mess. help me.

[OffRail]

Hi. My "life partner" of 14 years broke up with me on Sunday evening. We have a child together and own a business together, which we are both employed. Things have not been good with us for a long time, and he had been acting more distant than usual. He sent me a breakup text, how he still loved me but we couldn't do this anymore, etc. In a way I agreed with him, since we have both have not been happy for a while. It was extra hard because he is my best friend. He is basically my only friend..... I have alot of anxiety and am an introvert so I have alot of trouble meeting new people, and then wanting to continue to build a friendship. Anyway, two days after the breakup he tells me that he is seeing someone else and that she has been "helping" him through the breakup. He admitted to putting himself on a dating site before we were even broke up, and I know that he broke up with me when he saw that he had interest from someone else.

I am in a very bad place emotionally right now. I can't get out of bed, I can eat very little, my guts feel like they have been ripped out. All I can think about is him with his new love interest. He had sex with her the day after we broke up.

I told him that I felt disrespected, that he would go out and meet new women so immediatly, isnt there supposed to be a grace period out of respect for the other person? He tells me that I should not hold back and I should go find happiness asap. He tells me, she is like bathing in a ray of sunshine, and I really should try it. This is a huge punch in the belly for me. I cant imagine pursuing someone else right now. I am a ****ing mess, I have no desire right now to ever see anyone again.

One of the worst things about it is he keeps texting me and telling me that I am his best friend and he loves me and that he is worried about me. Acting like he really cares about me while he is out ****ing other women.

And to top it off, I have to see him and talk to him because we have a child together, and we own a buisness together. We are talking about making arrangements for seperating of finances, but for now it is what it is and I have to cope. I am a single mom now and I need the money.

I have made the mistake of texting him, crying, telling him i miss him and love him and i wish we could have worked things out. He says that he will never get back together with me. Then goes on to tell me that I am beautiful, the most eligable bachelorette in the area, I can have any guy I want, etc. I literally feel like I am about to die right now. This is the worst pain that I have ever felt, I dont know how I am going to get through this. And like I said, I have no friends. I invested everything in him. All my friends disappeared a long time ago.... So I am at this alone, trying to cope, trying to eat and sleep and not cry all day long. My poor son is 7 and all he knows is mama is sick, she doesnt feel good. I need to be able to take care of him. He is special needs and homeschools. He has epilepsy and that in itself puts me in an almost constant state of anxiety. I dont know what to do. I miss him so much and I cant stop thinking about him having fun while I suffer. I am a ****ing mess. help me.

 

Hi, I am also emotionally in a bad place right now, but it seems that he is being cruel to you. Why would he tell you that you are a beautiful bachelorette who can have any man she wants (except him) ? It probably is to make him feel better about how he dumped you after 14 years together.

 

Having and raising a special needs child is a lot of struggle and maybe he wasn't able to handle it ? If so, then you are better off without him. You need someone supportive, not someone who will bail when the going gets tough. I take a dim view of him signing up on a dating site before you were even done. Looks like he was cheating on you, on top of everything else. So, given how he is such a "catch", she can have him !!

 

I am so sorry. I am in a similar place, having just lost MY best friend who has vanished without a trace. So I can empathize with what you are going through. But this too will pass. That is what I am telling myself, too. Hang in there !

[GoBlue]

I am very sorry for the heartache and pain. There is absolutely nothing easy about your situation. Do you have family in the area? Do you have access to a counselor/Pastor or other third party professional who you could see? I am aware of a Christian ministry that offers a free counseling session by phone. If you are interested send me a private message so I can forward the link to you. In the mean time, please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you, and take care of yourself. You can lessen the power he has in this situation by ignoring his text messages and refusing to respond to them. Begging him to come back is like pouring gasoline on an open flame. I hope you find someone to talk to and who will help you heal. Blessings!