Scarlett_girl Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 hey all...I have a question..should you believe a guy when they tell you they are not womanizers?? after a friend of mine and i hooked up last week...I joked that he was such a flirt with soo many girls(he is! but an over the top flirt you can never take seriously) and he said that his flirting was harmless cuz it could never be taken seriously(which is true) and then I jokingly called him a womanizer and he said he was definitely not a womanizer, cuz he is never given the opportunity to be a womanizer!! so I said "i dunno, you're doing a pretty good job of womanizing me" and he said "oh, is that what I'm doing? please, dont think i'm going to go put a notch in my bedpost now" huh?? this is after I tried to talk about what we were and he said "when I brought up what we were doing you said you had no idea"... thing is..I'm not totally in love with him..i like him, am attracted to him but would like to get to know him more.. what do y'all think????????????
NTB Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 i think you need to get to know him a bit more before you can make that call. as for now i guess all you can go on is him telling you he's not. hope that helps
blind_otter Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by Scarlett_girl hey all...I have a question..should you believe a guy when they tell you they are not womanizers?? after a friend of mine and i hooked up last week...I joked that he was such a flirt with soo many girls(he is! but an over the top flirt you can never take seriously) and he said that his flirting was harmless cuz it could never be taken seriously(which is true) and then I jokingly called him a womanizer and he said he was definitely not a womanizer, cuz he is never given the opportunity to be a womanizer!! so I said "i dunno, you're doing a pretty good job of womanizing me" and he said "oh, is that what I'm doing? please, dont think i'm going to go put a notch in my bedpost now" huh?? this is after I tried to talk about what we were and he said "when I brought up what we were doing you said you had no idea"... thing is..I'm not totally in love with him..i like him, am attracted to him but would like to get to know him more.. what do y'all think???????????? mmph. Aren't you supposed to get to know them more before you have sex with them? Why did you bring it up unless you had suspicions that he was such? My ex-bestfriend Mr.T, as I call him on here, always joked about not being a womanizer but now that we don't hang out all the time I hear all sorts of stories from mutual friends and he is a male whore. I suppose if you weren't slightly suspicious that he was you wouldn't be posting on here? And he kind of tip-toed around the question. There isn't a lot of direction, healthy communication going on here if there are that many unanswered questions after being physically intimate. Just a thought. I mean, after he said "You said you had no idea" did you just drop it? Did the conversation end there? I am confused.
Author Scarlett_girl Posted February 24, 2005 Author Posted February 24, 2005 I know some of his friends and they all tell me he's not a man whore, they say he's a flirt but not a man whore... which is good.. i guess I'm just trying to figure out things in my head..everything kind of happened really fast between us..i'd always thought he was hot and fun and was hanging out at his place one day and we just kissed and things moved on from there...this happened twice.. I just though it was funny that he really wanted me to understand that he was not a womanizer..i know we need to talk but i've never really done this kind of thing before..i'm a serial monogamist! lol..i'm not sure how to broach this topic!!!
d'Arthez Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 The term womanizer is negative. No way a man is going to admit he is a womanizer. And for the term serial monogamy that even applies to man whores. Tonight woman A, tomorrow woman B, the day after that ... Some men (or women) will use these kind of terms soo loosely without you noticing it, so they seem safe when they are not. Don't ignore the suspicion, and get to know him better. His friends might cover him up, or be telling the truth. Your judgement should then depend on the integrity of these friends of him. But even better would it be, if you talked openly about these things. With him you can talk about the past, past relationships, past cheating behavior, views on cheating et cetera. If the two of you are local, it is not hard to find out if he is telling the truth.
blind_otter Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 The thing is when you have sex, or get physically intimate, you manufacture this artificial intimacy. It's not based in reality, you both are still lusting after physical traits, if you don't know him well. So if you want to continue messing around, be forewarned that it might make you feel more about him than is really real, because women get attached to men they are f*cking. That's just life. That's why it's better to get to know someone well before you have sex with them
Sckott Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 She's absolutely right... Sounds like things went too fast too soon.
Author Scarlett_girl Posted February 24, 2005 Author Posted February 24, 2005 update..I emailed him today and told him we should get together to talk tomorrow...i'll kepe you posted
haywood Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 you obviously like this guy. you slept with him, so what. start from here. gotta play that game no one likes playing. either he'll start asking you out or he won't. if he doesn't become interested in you then you have your answer there. if he's somewhat of a decent guy he'd probably like you enough to keep on wanting to see you. don't be too needy and don't be too distant. yeah, it's not easy. if he starts brushing you off then forget about him completely. good luck
Hund1976 Posted February 25, 2005 Posted February 25, 2005 Asking someone if they're a womanizer is a bad question. What's he going to say "yeah I am, I'm just trying to get in your pants tonight, and then I'm never going to talk to you again" You already had sex with him so all you can do now is hope for the best. Just because he is an outgoing guy doesn't mean he's trying to stick his pole in everything that walks. Hopefully it'll turn out okay.
Author Scarlett_girl Posted February 26, 2005 Author Posted February 26, 2005 UPDATE!: so yesterday he called me and asked to me go hang out with him and some of his good friends at a pub where his fave band was playing..so I went and met his best friend who said "OH so YOU'RE so and so?!?!..."(with a huge smile on her face) anyhoo..it was odd cuz we were only 4 people and it was all his close friends, who Id never met before..and I'm by no means a close friend of his! so ya..I guess he does want to spend time with me...but he didnt try anything on me though..confusing! does anyone have any insight???
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