tross-el destroyer Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 I'm 4 month out of a relationship with my sons mother and she has moved on to a new man . I feel like I should move on to a new woman as well . I don't love my ex anymore I just feel lonley and miss having someone to call my own . But some think it's to early to find someone because I seem desperate . Any thoughts ?
d0nnivain Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 If you seem desperate you are desperate. From your post, all I hear is you want a new relationship because your EX has one & you think you should too. That's a rebound. You can get out there & resume a social life with friends but I don't think you are emotionally ready for a new relationship. 1
organizedchaos Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 Nothing wrong with taking time for yourself. Grow,evolve, take up new hobbies or activities. Then when the time is right, it'll happen.
Shields boy Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 The last thing you need is to jump into a relationship. Take time to heal and chill. You do not want to end up hurting anyone because you are not ready to love again. 1
Itspointless Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 What d0nnivain and organizedchaos said. I [...] miss having someone to call my own . Also words are telling, why do you want someone to call your 'own'? Learn to be happy with yourself that way you can bring yourself as a gift and not a burden in your next relationship. 1
Mrblonde89 Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 I know how you feel. I'm super lonely and depressed. I miss having someone to hold and love. My ex made me feel so good. And now that she's gone I feel so alone.
Author tross-el destroyer Posted July 31, 2014 Author Posted July 31, 2014 What d0nnivain and organizedchaos said. Also words are telling, why do you want someone to call your 'own'? Learn to be happy with yourself that way you can bring yourself as a gift and not a burden in your next relationship. Because I'm lonely and want to be happy with someone again . I was happy with being in a relationship .I really don't know how to be happy alone.
d0nnivain Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 Until you learn to be happy alone you are never going to have a healthy fulfilling relationship with somebody else because you don't like yourself. You want somebody to fill in the hole left by your EX's departure. You don't care who this new person is as long as there is a warm body in your life. That is a recipe for disaster.
Author tross-el destroyer Posted July 31, 2014 Author Posted July 31, 2014 How do I learn to be happy alone, when I'm so depressed ?
organizedchaos Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 How do I learn to be happy alone, when I'm so depressed ? Do you have friends?
Author tross-el destroyer Posted July 31, 2014 Author Posted July 31, 2014 Do you have friends? Yeah, but not many . Most are depressed drunks like myself . The others work graveyard shift so I never get to see them .
d0nnivain Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 You drink less. You find things to do that make you happy because you enjoy them. It sounds silly, but you make sure that you get a little sun on your skin every day.
Author tross-el destroyer Posted August 1, 2014 Author Posted August 1, 2014 I'm having trouble enjoying the things I used to enjoy.
Itspointless Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 I'm having trouble enjoying the things I used to enjoy. Hello tross-el destroyer, I am very familiar with that. Usually the enjoyment will come back in time (can take months) and just be forcing yourself to do things. Sometimes though we are inherently changed and not everything will come back in the same form, but new things will add itself to your life. For now it is important for you to just do things even when you do not feel the energy for them. What saves me every time is running, so much chemicals are made in your body that make you feel good. The good thing about running is also that it forces me to not think. Also d0nnivain is so right about sunlight!
Author tross-el destroyer Posted August 1, 2014 Author Posted August 1, 2014 I work outside so I get plenty of sunlight. I just hate being lonely. It just sucks that she's happy in a relationship and I'm miserable posting on here
Itspointless Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 I work outside so I get plenty of sunlight. I just hate being lonely. It just sucks that she's happy in a relationship and I'm miserable posting on here That is if she is really is as happy as she is making it externally known. Ever noticed that when you get to know people well you discover that they often have many problems they do not talk about if you do not know them really well. They even act to others like they are living the dream, it often is just a simulacrum: a spectacle set in motion that in the end even becomes real for the actors themselves. Until they get the urge to drift again and fall for the latest promise.
Author tross-el destroyer Posted August 1, 2014 Author Posted August 1, 2014 I guess that is true. I just want to feel better about everything and be happy again. But the urge to be with someone right now is rough. I see all the couples every where and get jealous.
Itspointless Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 I guess that is true. I just want to feel better about everything and be happy again. But the urge to be with someone right now is rough. I see all the couples every where and get jealous. Give yourself time. Again it is a familiar picture, but it will get better if you give yourself the chance to be yourself. For now you are still very much attached: your brain needs time to adjust mentally and chemically.
Author tross-el destroyer Posted August 1, 2014 Author Posted August 1, 2014 I just don't want to spend precious time feeling upset. When I could be out experiencing things I guess. I'm just tired of being depressed constantly
Author tross-el destroyer Posted August 1, 2014 Author Posted August 1, 2014 I just don't want to spend precious time feeling upset. When I could be out experiencing things I guess. I'm just tired of being depressed constantly . It's been 3 months already I need to get on with my life.
erklat Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 I just don't want to spend precious time feeling upset. When I could be out experiencing things I guess. I'm just tired of being depressed constantly . It's been 3 months already I need to get on with my life. Jumping in another doomed relationship will not help you unfortunately. You need to solve the problem. With the relationship you only address the symptoms. Create a happy life for yourself where you can invite another woman to be happy with you. There is no other way.
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