Please....... don't do this

[No Foolin]

I'm out on a Friday (undisclosed martini bar) atmosphere rocked, music was your standard acid jazz that they play in martini bars. Everyone was dressed to the 9 in some form or the other, the evening was off to a great start. I assembled my crew a few hours earlier. Always attempt to get four of us together to go out its a great ratio (you take 3 and somebody is going to be sitting in silence).

 

I invited my friend....we'll call him mike. Mike is like me in the sense that we both are out of relationships within the last year. That is where the comparison between Mike and myself stops. Mike's break up is still fresh (anything within 4 months to me is fresh). I thought I'd invite him out to get him acustomed to getting his feet wet at chill friendly locale. (martini bars are not a high pressure atmoshere like your normal dance/techno clubs, where it is pretty much like the opening battle in the movie Gladiator. Martini bars are actually designed for conversation....what a concept. But I digress)

 

Mike was pretty tense, I understood this, there is something strange about a dude right out of a relationship. His sense of style and way of being is all out of wack, like a car you see on the interstate with screwed up alignment. The car looks like its rolling down the street all diaginal (sp) lol. I picked him up at his door and he rolled out in a black hoody and baggy jeans (this is all good normally, but not tonight). Cut to the bar. I lost track of mike in about an hour, as I was busy shootin the sh*t with a woman who turned out to be in high school with me (this is a good thing)a good decade and a half ago.

 

It was a text book night kids everyone was really doing well. Music was good, my two other friends were engaged in stimulating converstion with some lovely ladies. I was about to close the show with my old high school friend (just a phone# kids).........Then it happend. I saw him out of the corner of my eye. Come to think of it, he was sitting in the same place the entire evening (with hood on, mind you) not talking to anyone. He strolled up to me looking like a freaking ring wraith (shhhiiieeerr.......BBBBaaaggiinnnnsss) stopped right in front of me and what I was hoping to be perspective future date; and spouted off some of the most profound wisdom to come out of a human. I quote "hey man lets get out of here......these bit*hes ain't givin up no pus*y"

 

All hell broke loose, Mike threw a relationship ending grenade right in the middle of the bar, the kind that would make women break up with their boyfriends in a 20 foot radius just for being male. Mike took a margarita shower with a sprinkle of cigarette ash for talcum. I never did get that phone number. As a public service announcement, please don't do this to your friends, you'll just find yourself wet, alone and walking home.

 

No Foolin

[ReluctantRomeo]

Over here we have a traditional punishment for such behaviour. I am sworn to secrecy as to the exact details, but it involves lashings of honey and 2 fresh wasps nests. It does not require the presence of the baggy jeans - they might even be a hindrance.

 

Seriously NF, I would be so p***ed if a friend behaved like this. We've all done the breakup thing and it sucks - we don't have to ruin our friends' lives too with our caveman behaviour.

[moimeme]

I quote "hey man lets get out of here......these bit*hes ain't givin up no pus*y"

 

Yet another reason why bitter men are to be avoided at all costs - by men and women alike.