JackP82 Posted July 29, 2014 Posted July 29, 2014 OK, so eight months ago I started dating my ex-girlfriend. We hit it off right away.. Her work schedule was really hectic (she is a surgeon), so I was only able to see her whenever her when her work permitted. I basically had to revolve my schedule around this, so I could see her. I felt pretty strong for her right away, and I showed it in my actions.. When she had a bad day at work, I showed up at her door with wine and flowers. I cooked her breakfast/dinner on occasions. Four months into the relationship, I told her that I loved her. She responded that she really cares for me, but doesn't want to use that word yet. I was upset, but I understood. She did ensure me that she felt more for me than any other guy than she ever dated. She told me that not only am I the most attractive guy she dated, I also treat her the best. Our sex life was also fantastic.. We were having sex 3-4 times everytime we saw each other. One thing that always bugged me during the course of the relationship was that she only introduced me to certain friends, and never invited me home to meet her college friends (she went three times during the relationship). Seven months into the relationship we went to South Africa together (she invited me). We had the greatest time sightseeing and learning new things together. After we returned home to Atlanta, she finally told me that she loved me. A week later she went back to visit her college friends. There was no invitation for me. This enraged me (I don't think she was cheating, but why did I not receive an invite?), but I made sure that I expressed my feelings to her. She understood and mentioned that the reason why she did not invite me is because she had issues loosing friends via her last relationship (after the breakup), so she wasn't ready to introduce me to those friends yet. Another two weeks went by and we got into small arguments here and there.. Mostly due to the fact that her work schedule was making it hard for us to see each other. 2.5 weeks ago she invited me over her home and broke up with me. She told me that it is not fair to me because she cannot see me as much as I deserve. Then she also told me that she is not sure if she can see her life with me and that is another reason why she did not introduce me to her friends. After that she also told me that she isn't sure if she loved me anymore. I left her house and went home. Did not speak to her for 1.5 weeks and a week ago I sent her an E-Mail (saying I am open to talking about the relationship) and I did not get any type of response.. I am generally confused by this. I treated her better than I've ever treated any girl. Any thoughts?
rewl Posted July 29, 2014 Posted July 29, 2014 You broke ALL the rules I could possibly think of. Everytime I read a new sentence you always had a (bad) surprise for me. Who was this girl, Chelsea Clinton?
Tbisb74 Posted July 29, 2014 Posted July 29, 2014 I am generally confused by this. I treated her better than I've ever treated any girl. Any thoughts? Yes. She clearly was not as invested in the relationship as you were. Do not even think of ever contacting her, any more. Go to the top of the 'breaking up' forum and have a look at the No Contact Guide there. it contains a lot of excellent advice. Sometimes, even if we treat people like Kings or Queens, they turn out to be right royal sh*it's.
mav3rik Posted July 29, 2014 Posted July 29, 2014 I've been in the exact situation as you, even the reasons for the break up were almost identical. It's really confusing and one of the hardest and most painful type of break ups I've gone thru. Well, about your situation, It is possible that she really is more focused on her career over lovelife. I have a friend whose gf was a doctor and she only comes out of the hospital and have quickie in the parking lot and that's it. And, yes, the relationship didn't last long. I'd suggest you let her be. Don't make the same mistakes that I did (I begged for her to stay because of the shock of the sudden break up) Let this sit out for a few more weeks, maybe try giving her some space.. it works wonders and shows that you do value her decision.
hoping2heal Posted July 29, 2014 Posted July 29, 2014 I am generally confused by this. I treated her better than I've ever treated any girl. Any thoughts? She was not as into you as you were into her and your well treatment couldn't change that.
Author JackP82 Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 She responded to my E-Mail saying that she saw the E-Mail, but is unsure what to say.. That she is around if I want to talk. Should I respond? I really cared about this girl a lot, but I unsure if she is reaching out because she feels bad and I am walking into a pity talk, or if she genuinely misses us..
SoThatHappened Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 She feels guilty. All you'll get from a conversation with her is hurt more. She probably pities you. She will probably tell you more of the truth that you don't want to hear. Unfortunately for you, she's not going to say anything to make you feel better. Ignore and start healing. As much as it hurts now, you actually can learn something from this. Do NOT do the things you did before. You were too needy, too available, too codependent. Learn to be your own person and don't depend on others for happiness. You'll be better prepared for the next girl. There will be another girl and you will get over this.
Chi townD Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 Uh...I could be wrong but I'm starting to think that she thought other people would be thinking that you weren't good enough for her. I mean, she's a physician but also a surgeon. Unfortunately, that's the good old boys club and no way you would be included in that club. So, some of the questions that might need to be answered is if she was embarrassed to call you her boyfriend to others? Did she not want to hear that she was slumming it with dating you? Was she ashamed to show you off to her colleagues? Seems strange that she wouldn't introduce you to her friends. Because if she was in love with you as she claimed she was, then she wouldn't give a rats ass to what people may say.
Author JackP82 Posted August 4, 2014 Author Posted August 4, 2014 I don't think she was embarrassed of me.. Granted, I am not a surgeon, but I make more money than she does (and she knows this).. She always told me how handsome I am, posted pictures of us together on social media, etc..
Recommended Posts