Jadedbyluv Posted July 29, 2014 Posted July 29, 2014 Sigh. Just trying to make sense of this all. I'm driving myself crazy trying to understand but it's just making me depressed and anxious. Some background, I was in a kinda whirlwind romance, you could say. Everything happened so fast. Faster than usual. But from the get go, I honestly felt different with this guy. I never felt that feeling with anybody, and it scared me how fast things were progressing. I've been hurt pretty bad before, and I've been cautious who I've opened myself up to. I trusted this guy, and I shared things with him I've never told anybody. I felt like I knew him forever. I opened myself up to be loved for the first time in years. I'm a pretty level-headed person and not impulsive at all so this was all new to me. Two weeks ago, he finally expressed he had fallen in love with me. I told him I loved him too. And it's the first time I truly felt that I meant it when I said it. He asked me in that moment if I meant it, and I said I did. Ever side then he's been so distant. I haven't seen him since then. He won't commit to plans. Now he said he is doing doctors without borders and leaving the country for who knows how long. I keep replaying every conversation in my head. I keep wondering what happened and what could have changed. Why has he decided to ignore me and disappear? Today I finally emailed him and basically said I felt like we weren't on the same page anymore, and it's ok if we aren't. I said if we aren't just let me know so I can move on. And still no response. I've had guys disappear on me before. Or do the slow fade. It sucks. You move on, but this hurts worse. I truly trusted this guy, and I thought he was genuine. If you say you love someone, this isn't how you treat them. It's obvious over at this point, but I can't stop thinking about it. Trying to focus on the positive things in my life. Make plans with friends. Do anything, but I can't focus. I'm trying to find an answer to a question there's no answer for. Trying to understand something where there is no understanding.
daisydook Posted July 29, 2014 Posted July 29, 2014 Hugs!!! I have no advice, but I am here for support. Your story just broke my heart and I am just sorry you have to be going through this. As you said, there is no answer. God only knows what the heck he was thinking. Please keep coming here to post, especially when you are feeling down. We are here for you. 1
Author Jadedbyluv Posted July 30, 2014 Author Posted July 30, 2014 Just went for a run to clear my head. This is just to vent more than anything. As I think how he handled, it shows his true character. Actions speak louder than words. His silence is deafening, and it just shows how much he truly respected me. You don't treat someone you apparently love this way. It still makes no sense to me. I will never understand. And he likely did me a favor in the long run. Still hurts nonetheless. But I am still a strong, beautiful, resilient woman. 1
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