Biscous Posted July 29, 2014 Posted July 29, 2014 One of your exes that caused you a lot of heartache in your life. You now see her with her husband and now has a kid and you don't have resentment towards her. You genuinely wish her the best in her life. I can say that this is one of those coming of age moments in my life. 2
Ordinaryday Posted July 29, 2014 Posted July 29, 2014 this is not what I am aiming for, I don't want to be at the stage where I am happy for her and wish her all the best. I want to be at the stage where I simply dont care one way or another, so hearing that my ex was with a new man wouldnt effect me at all, I simply wouldnt care - it would be just as if I heard someone I barely knew at high school got married, you just dont really care. I would love to get to that stage and the real irony of it is you cant say this stage is a 'great' feeling because indifference is just that - neither a good or a bad feeling, just NO FEELING AT ALL. thats the stage I want to be at. and what are you doing peeking at your exes fb?
Author Biscous Posted July 29, 2014 Author Posted July 29, 2014 this is not what I am aiming for, I don't want to be at the stage where I am happy for her and wish her all the best. I want to be at the stage where I simply dont care one way or another, so hearing that my ex was with a new man wouldnt effect me at all, I simply wouldnt care - it would be just as if I heard someone I barely knew at high school got married, you just dont really care. I would love to get to that stage and the real irony of it is you cant say this stage is a 'great' feeling because indifference is just that - neither a good or a bad feeling, just NO FEELING AT ALL. thats the stage I want to be at. and what are you doing peeking at your exes fb? I kept one of her friends on my Facebook for a while and I forgot to delete her. She liked a comment of mine and I checked her wall and I saw that my ex had a baby. Her husband posted it. So I stumbled upon it. It has been about two years since we were together, but she did cause me a lot of anger and resentment. She was younger and made a mistake, she genuinely apologized to me. I didn't really try and see what she was up to though. I stumbled upon it. I'm just a bit too old now to be resentful towards her. There are other women I've had the fortune of encountering and hopefully I will have that permanent happiness in my life.
Zeurich Posted July 29, 2014 Posted July 29, 2014 IN FB mmh! well my ex is remarried. For me I feel so sorry the woman he married honestly. I don't feel anything but I have not added them in my ex in to any of my social accounts!
Ordinaryday Posted July 29, 2014 Posted July 29, 2014 It has been about two years since we were together, but she did cause me a lot of anger and resentment. She was younger and made a mistake, she genuinely apologized to me. /QUOTE] I dont see ANY apology from the dumper where they make it clear they still dont want you back as a 'genuine' apology, it is a self-serving one. a genuine apology is where they tell you they made a mistake so can we please try again? 1
Author Biscous Posted July 29, 2014 Author Posted July 29, 2014 It has been about two years since we were together, but she did cause me a lot of anger and resentment. She was younger and made a mistake, she genuinely apologized to me. /QUOTE] I dont see ANY apology from the dumper where they make it clear they still dont want you back as a 'genuine' apology, it is a self-serving one. a genuine apology is where they tell you they made a mistake so can we please try again? Perhaps. They still messed up, but at the same time I'm no saint either.
Emilia Posted July 29, 2014 Posted July 29, 2014 I didn't really try and see what she was up to though. I stumbled upon it. I'm just a bit too old now to be resentful towards her. There are other women I've had the fortune of encountering and hopefully I will have that permanent happiness in my life. Perhaps but there are some I just keep off my facebook. Even if I speak to them in person, have a beer, etc. I know they are careful with what they tell me to my face and I don't want to read their flirts with other women. Just delete her.
Author Biscous Posted July 29, 2014 Author Posted July 29, 2014 Perhaps but there are some I just keep off my facebook. Even if I speak to them in person, have a beer, etc. I know they are careful with what they tell me to my face and I don't want to read their flirts with other women. Just delete her. She wasn't on my Facebook. It was a friend of a friend by accident to be honest. She's no longer in my life. 1
Missy0724 Posted July 29, 2014 Posted July 29, 2014 Glad I read this...had to laugh, but only at my own expense! And have to share! Listen to this! My ex, with whom I was married to for twenty years and we have three kids together, got remarried and instead of being a mature adult and just sending me quit email to let me know, he posted it on FB. We are not "friends" on FB, so he set his post on "public". haha. Coward, boyish mood. Every thing he does like this, and he's been pulling these charades for the past two years, re: this woman. Who he met when we were separated. He went right into a serious relationship after being married for 20 years. So that alone tells you how pathetic he is! He never took time to be alone, or spend time with his three kids, who really needed their dad during the difficult time of divorce... His choice! All these things made it easy for any feelings I had for him, to dissipate. Well, I was already over him romantically before we got divorce... Um, that's why I got divorced. That's why these people are our exes! Because it just didn't work! So why hold onto any feelings? Sure, some residual stuff...but move on! Live your life! Put the past behind you! Be thankful you aren't stuck in something that just doesn't work, with someone either you don't want, or they don't want you! That's a waste of a life or anyone's happiness! I feel nothing for my ex. It's awesome. So glad he's with someone else and not bothering me. Only issue I've ever had with him, is his lack of quality parenting skills, connecting with his boys. Not the best dad. But again, part of reason I divorced him... It's wise to let any feelings go, find that acceptance. It's the greatest gift you can give to yourself! And to him! So both of you can have that inner peace. And most importantly - be emotionally free to offer and receive love again, with someone who can do the same. Being involved with someone who still has another in their head, sucks! Been thru that, too. Very painful... Don't do that! Take that time, do NC, to heal, totally move through the mourning process, until you are really sure you are emotionally free and avail. For yourself and others!
learning_slowly Posted July 29, 2014 Posted July 29, 2014 If you were meant to work out, both of you would have tried more. Be happy you are out of a relationship where at least 1 of you wasn't invested. In my experience, it takes a something big in life to cause people to change, and as we get older, it's usually changes for the worse. So remember the annoying things that the new partner will have to put up with. And there maybe more new annoying things now. It's easy to remember the good times, but if you really think about the bad times, there were probably quite a lot of them. So be thankful you're not still living them. But after 2 years, focus on the present 1
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