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A case of Hot and Cold!!


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Posted

Hey folks,

 

I've been chatting with this guy from OLD who is moving to my city in a few weeks. Earlier this summer we had some pretty lengthy chats, then a Skype chat, and then met up when he visited my city one weekend. He texted me right after the date, but then like 3 days of silence. I finally bit the bullet and texted him, he responded "i was just thinking about you" and we texted for an hour. Since then he's hot and cold...one day he texts me for an hour, super flirtatious, and talks about how he'll be in my town again in a couple week, next thing I know he's silent for 4 days, tells me he was too busy at school orientation while in my city to make time to see me (warning bells, i think? Especially since I'll be gone for a month now...), and is driving back home.

 

I couldn't help but be a little pissed when he texted me today just to say that he was about to leave my city!! but he's very smooth and persistent and convinced me that we should Skype and that I shouldn't forget him while I'm away, that once he moves here it will be easier.

 

 

So, is his smoothness, combined with the fact that he came to my city and did not make time for me, a warning bell, or believable? Should I give his Skype chat proposal a chance and believe his "don't forget me while you're away" lines? Or is he full of **** and am I getting royally manipulated for an ego boost or something? He grew up in Italy, if that changes any of your advice.

 

Thanks

Posted

This sounds shady. He might just be using you for attention when it suits him

Posted

He's keeping you at arms length.

 

Forget this guy and move on.

  • Like 1
Posted

He was in your city but kept you at arm's length? Um, yeah. He's a jerk. Don't Skype with him. He just likes the attention that you give him when it suits him. This is already one-sided. His side.

 

Look. If he really wanted to make your connection real, he would have called you on the phone and scheduled a time to meetup with you while he was there in your city. But he didn't. Actions speak louder than words.

 

Ever hear that saying, "don't make someone a priority if they only make you an option." Right now you're this guy's option. Not his priority.

 

Forget about this guy.

  • Like 1
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Posted

so, he was in my city for a school orientation and claimed he was nonstop with orientation. We didn't have concrete plans, he just had mentioned that he'd be here. What i'm hearing from all of you (and maybe i should listen) is that it's not a good enough excuse, and he wouldn't have missed the chance to see me. What my heart is saying to do is to give him a chance to be more reliable once we actually live in the same place, and that we've only seen each other once so it's not like he's at a point where he has to make me a priority. Obviously i'm hesitating which is why i'm posting here. Should I listen to you guys or to my heart here?

Posted
so, he was in my city for a school orientation and claimed he was nonstop with orientation. We didn't have concrete plans, he just had mentioned that he'd be here. What i'm hearing from all of you (and maybe i should listen) is that it's not a good enough excuse, and he wouldn't have missed the chance to see me. What my heart is saying to do is to give him a chance to be more reliable once we actually live in the same place, and that we've only seen each other once so it's not like he's at a point where he has to make me a priority. Obviously i'm hesitating which is why i'm posting here. Should I listen to you guys or to my heart here?

 

You should listen to us, but you will listen to your heart.

 

Just don't make him a priority. It's hard, but carry on with yourself and your life, if he really wants to see you when you're living in the same place then he will make the effort.

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