how to not wish ex bad happen to him!

[brokentopieces]

I just can not stop wishing bad to my ex. I know it is not healthy. Please help me to find out a way not to.

 

One year ago, my ex left me after 2 years with a 11 month baby and an abortion of 5 month old pregnancy. He actually found another woman and started seeing her before we broke up. and I found out she moved into his place a week later and they married 3 month after I moved out. And Later after talking to that woman, she said she was told I was not living there 2 month before they dated and she thought he was eligible to date and she never told about the pregnancy. And he told her he never loved me and never actually loved his baby.

 

And now after a year, I moved on and felt very peaceful most of the time. However whenever I felt bad, I really wish them the worst. Recently I found out she may have cervical cancer, kept bleeding, I felt so good and more peaceful. I know it is not healthy to think bad for somebody. BUt I just could not stop thinking that way. I wish he live like hell. I wish he live sufferring everyday. and however today I found out her other results turned out normal again. which made me disapointed and whole day can not concentrate. Please tell me what is wrong with me. and Please help me cope with this thinking.

 

 

Thanks in advance.

[sportynut38]

Your post was a hard one to read.

 

You said that it is a year later and that you have moved on, yet from your post is sounds like you are still very much angry and hurt over things that happened. Have you even tried to deal with those feelings? Perhaps tried therapy?

 

It is perfectly normal to feel betrayed and what nots, especially after hearing some of the things his "girl" has said, but you must also remember that she is the one married to him, and if he could say that about you ... he may be able to say the same about her later down the road.

 

Wishing for someone to live a life of hell is not healthy, not for you. You are going to have to come to terms with the past and honestly move on from it. So he was a smuck, let it go. If you keep constantly holding the feelings you are, you are not going to start healing and hence committing yourself to the life of hell. Kind of like what you wish for another is boomeranged right back at ya.

 

And from experience, I wouldn't wish any form or sort of cancer on anyone ... not even an enemy. My mother, father and brothers all fought cancer ... it isn't pleasant. And quite frankly, I am a bit disappointed that someone could find that another human being possibly having cancer to be an uplifting feeling. Where is the humanity in that?

 

She isn't the one who betrayed you or walked away from your relationship. She isn't even the reason for the break up. Why would you wish her harm? What has she done to you? I am glad her results came out negative, but I am sad that you find this to be such terrible news that you find now you can't concentrate on anything. How very sad for you indeed.

[SadAndLonely]

Think of someone you really love...a mother, grandmother, best friend, whatever. Now imagine them having cervical cancer and being in great pain, and someone else being happy about it. What would you think of that person?

 

This other woman did nothing wrong to you. To wish anyone harm is mean-spirited, bitter, and I honestly think it will come back to you. If you want to keep doing it, however, fine. No one else can talk you out of it. Of course, you're not as peaceful as you think, but whatever.

[brokentopieces]

I know it is not healthy to wish them bad. But what about he caused me so much pain, betrayed me and abandoned his kid?

 

Will all those be punished one day?

[SadAndLonely]

I don't know. Will you be punished someday for your thoughts? Who knows, who cares. Do you want to look back on your life and see years of bitterness, or do you want to get over it and be happy?