noisuf Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Hello all, This is my first post in this forum. I hope my story below doesn't bore you. I was in a relationship with a girl in late '98 which lasted 14 months until Feb '00. Eventhough I've been in another relationship for nearly 4 years now and engaged, I still think about this girl I was with for 14 months constantly. I'm at the point where I'm really tired. To sum things up: 1) She was a very sweet girl who I was really serious with. We had at one stage talked about the future, even how to name our kids. 2) She changed dramatically after our relationship, soft drugs, went into relationship without caring for a guy. There's more but let's just say she was totally the opposite before. Real ice queen. 3) After that relationship, she's been with a guy now for 1 yr that can be credited for making her somewhat a warm person again. 4) Eventhough I'm ver happy with what I have now, hence engaged....and I am truly genuinely happy for her that she's found someone that makes her happy... I'm just perplexed as to why I still think about her...or the relationship we had all the time? 5) The relationship ended in a funny way, she threatened to break up a few times prior, then I just suddenly did it myself. But then I wanted to get back together after a month which she rejected. 6) I guess I'm sentimental about what I had with her, the good times and maybe those times were better than what I have now? Not sure...but if I hear some reference to 1998 or 1999, I think about her... If I go somewhere that we were linked to in some way, I think about her. 7) Maybe I'm in regret because I was a cagey sort of guy and maybe I wish I was different so it didn't turn out this way? 8) But the past is the past and we can't change that. I have a fantastic fiancee now who's great in her way. I just feel that I'm not being fair on her and on myself that I have these thoughts all the time...especially since it's been 5 years... 9) I'm thinking of meeting up with her and chatting about this...we're still friends... If she says she's happier now compared to any time in our relationship, I think I can finally get over it because she's better off... Sorry all for this lengthy post. It was good for me to just get it out.
No Foolin Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Brother, do you really think that you can handle what she is going to say to you? I think in many ways you already know what she is going to say. Its over............. If you contact her you will be back at square one (remember that pain???? I think you do). Some memories do not die. Some things are better left unsaid. You have a woman you care about, cherish that. THE GRASS IS NOT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE. This is more about you than her. This is a good thing, something you can correct. Look inside, deep inside, find your patterns and why she means so much to you. Follow the GUIDE FOR THE LONG WALK. Good luck and good post. No Foolin
Author noisuf Posted February 24, 2005 Author Posted February 24, 2005 Thanks No Foolin. Yeah, I can handle it because I don't wish to be with her again...that wish was over since I've been with my fiancee. I think I'm just silly reminiscing thoughts of what I had with this girl. If she says she is happier now than she's ever been, that would help me to stop thinking about what I had with her because that was just a path for her to get to where she is now...happiest. But then again, in the event she says she was happier then before it turned sour, then hmm...how would I take that? Probably kick myself for it but I really do believe I'm happier now with my fiancee. It was a painful breakup for me though, I also became less caring for my own well being, soft drugs, got motorbike licence and rode hard... But you're right though, I do need to keep on remembering what I do have and I wouldn't be here without having to go through we I did. What do you mean by, "Follow the GUIDE FOR THE LONG WALK"? Cheers.
No Foolin Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 look below in this forum, its a collective of alot of things I learned here good luck
Author noisuf Posted February 24, 2005 Author Posted February 24, 2005 No Foolin...great post on "Follow the GUIDE FOR THE LONG WALK"... I just wish I had this guide 5 years ago...haha... Actually did try the no strings attached method...didn't quite work out... One started having feelings for me and another...well, let's just say I couldn't 'perform' without the love connection... Call me a sucker... Anyway, I wish you good luck on your LONG WALK...
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