Girlfriend thinks her school/work will interfere with our relationship. What can i do

[heyitsmike]

I’m 23 and a year out of college, my girlfriend is almost 21 and has 3 semesters left in college and aspires to be a physician’s assistant.

 

 

My girlfriend and I had previously been dating for a little over 1 year, until she sat me down one day and said her anticipated increased workload from school and other related extracurricular activities would make her physically incapable of handling a relationship. I was obviously hurt inside but was supportive and respected her decision. Since then its been about a month, going back and forth and she's revealed multiple times she really can't live without me in her life and wanted to try to make things work, so we are trying to take things slow now. My thought process is that this will be a definitive testing ground for our relationship so I can know once and for all if it'll work. She had confided in me though recently she is scared of hurting me again. I console her by telling her she can be happy with me and doesn't need to compromise. We’ve been together through her work before and it's nothing that new. We’re going away on a little vacation soon and I was wondering what things I can do to help strengthen our relationship on this trip and in general.

 

She starts school at the end of August and I want to take advantage of what is left of this summer to solidify our relationship for the fall and hopefully beyond.

[elseaacych]

Go with it. School is an immensely stressful thing, and it's hard to mesh big career dreams with big relationship dreams.

 

I had this problem last year when I started law school. I drew the lines with my then-boyfriend and said: "I can probably see you regularly once a week. I have a rough schedule. But, if you want to do something, please let me know, and I will try to make it work."

 

I very rarely said no to him when he asked me to be available. Unfortunately, our relationship was on the rocks as it was, and he interpreted the statement that I didn't have time for him. What I meant was "I want to spend the time I have with you efficiently."

 

What you should do is try to keep the lines of communication open and be willing to make time for each other where you can, and be respectful of each other.

 

Do little things for her: text her good morning/good night. Bring her flowers at school, take her out to lunch on a school day when things aren't so busy. Understand.

[kaylan]

Typical. Shes young, in college, and wants the freedom to see other people.

 

Move on. The whole "I wanna focus on my studies" excuse isnt the only thing going on here. People make relationships work if they really want them.

[Philosoraptor]

So your previous posts have her constantly lying to you and possibly cheating?

 

Dude, she's just not that into you. Cut the cord, heal up, and with time move on to someone more compatible.