What do I do to avoid this situation and ignore someone that likes me?

[Lipitor11]

There's this older security guard, maybe in his 40'a that is interested in me. I'm not interested, the other day he was talking to be asked if I was single and I lied about having a boyfriend. He is still gong to say hi and look at me. There's no way I can avoid him in the mornings. I usually come in early, so he takes advantage of doing the whole small talk. I don't even want to wear make up or look nice anymore , because I think he's going to look at me no matter what. This irritates me. What should I do?

[Quiet Storm]

You need to just give him the "get away from me vibe". I've had the same situation numerous times, and you have to act cold & unfriendly. He will likely get the point if he is not getting any feedback from you.

 

I think many women feel that they have to be friendly or nice, and feel bad or guilty for expressing negative feelings. When he starts the small talk, just say "I'm busy and can't talk." Avoid eye contact and say nothing else, just do your job. Keep your voice flat, with no expression or friendliness.

 

For example:

 

Security guy: "Good morning Lipitor11! Isn't it a beautiful day outside today?"

 

Lipitor11: "I'm busy and can't talk.", while looking down & reading paperwork.

 

Security guy: "Awww, you can't be that busy for a little morning chat! Did you hear they are building a new restaurant next door?"

 

Lipitor11: "I'm busy and can't talk.", while looking down & checking emails on her phone.

 

Security guy: "It's about time we got a good food place around here!"

 

Lipitor11: ""I'm busy and can't talk.", while looking down & sorting papers.

 

Security guy: "Uhhhh, OK Lipitor11. I guess you are busy & can't talk right now. Have a great day!"

 

This approach always works for me. With no friendly banter from you, there is no conversation to build on. It is clearly one sided, and after a few days of the above, he will get the point because it will be uncomfortable for him. He will realize that it is pointless to chat you up & move on to a more receptive target.

[Lipitor11]

Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'll keep it short and act cold. I always hate these work place scenarios. I always feel like I have to be civil and professional even if I don't like some guy that's interested. Ugh. I just hate it when some take advantage of the workplace, don't people know that business and pleasure don't mix? This isn't happy hour. And its pretty stupid how some use excuses to talk to some girl-like "oh...you're soo quiet, I just want you to talk to me more..." Lame. Tomorrow, I'll be cold.

[Lipitor11]

Well, this morning, I walked behind these 2 other co-workers, I decided not to say anything to him, he called me out and said, "you don't even say hi, I'm going to walk back there and start saying hi." I replied "I'm busy." I'm like wtf??? When I'm I obligated to greet a security guard. I greeted him before, but now that I know that he's interested, I want to ignore him. My god, so what if I don't greet him??? There's other people that don't greet him either, so what's the big deal.

Edited August 5, 2014 by Lipitor11

[clia]

Just say hello and keep walking. There is no reason to make a big deal about it or to be rude to him. You don't have to stand there and make small talk with him. He'll get the idea eventually.

[aussietigerwolf]

just say morning as you walk past.

[Lipitor11]

Well, I apologize to myself for even saying "morning" to him in the first place. I guess me saying "morning" to him first was him giving the green light on showing interest in me. Since when does being friendly and civil at work make it a place to find dates? This is the last time I'll ever be friendly towards the opposite sex at the workplace. I'll avoid the small talk, but if he calls me out again that I'm not doing small talk, I'm gonna be pissed. This is like dealing with annoying gnats.

[newmoon]

Well, I apologize to myself for even saying "morning" to him in the first place. I guess me saying "morning" to him first was him giving the green light on showing interest in me. Since when does being friendly and civil at work make it a place to find dates? This is the last time I'll ever be friendly towards the opposite sex at the workplace. I'll avoid the small talk, but if he calls me out again that I'm not doing small talk, I'm gonna be pissed. This is like dealing with annoying gnats.

 

i agree, and have this problem at work too. even just a casual "morning" as you walk past seems to invite (some) men to think you want to talk. just rush past, always have something in your hand to look down at to avoid eye contact with him, etc. don't greet any guys you don't actually want to talk to. they just misunderstand. he'll understand eventually. the only thing you have to worry about then is a rep as someone unfriendly.