OneSailorsKate Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Hi everyone - I'm new to the forum. I have been in a LDR since May, 2001. We met on the internet and then in person that same year. Then after many, many trips back and forth to see one another, in the spring of 2003, I moved to Ohio from KS to be with him and what does he do? He joins the Navy! So, after living together for a little over a year, he left for boot camp in Sept 2004. He graduated Nov 5th, 2004 and is now stationed in Charleston, SC for his A-school. I'm still in OH, a junior in college However, our relationship has gotten even more serious as of late and he wants us to get married this year. I'll be 21 in April and he just turned 23. I would be transferring colleges (again) which I am ok with - I just wondered if anyone had any advice on how to bring the marriage situation up with my parents? My mom moved to OH to be close to me (I'm an only child) so I know this news that I want to move again will hurt her. I am tired of being in an LDR again and don't really see the point when we're both ready for marriage and eventually he will be on deployments and we won't get to be together. So anyway, hope you enjoyed that autobiographical portion of the program! - Kate
Devildog Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Kate, not sure how to tell you this, but he is a slimy squid. (nothing personal against him, he is just in an inferior branch of the service:) ) Chances are pretty good he will be spending alot of his time out at sea. ALOT of time. You are going to have an LDR no matter where you move to most likely. It might be a good idea to let things get settled for him before you decide to move. Good luck. Military relationships are hard, take alot of work and a lot of trust.
Author OneSailorsKate Posted February 24, 2005 Author Posted February 24, 2005 Hi devildog. Well of course you know I have my bias - His middle brother is in the USMC so I have respect for all branches. And actually he won't be out to sea a whole lot considering he's just in A-school right now But thank you. I know it's going to be hard but I am prepared! - Kate
Devildog Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by OneSailorsKate Hi devildog. Well of course you know I have my bias - His middle brother is in the USMC so I have respect for all branches. And actually he won't be out to sea a whole lot considering he's just in A-school right now But thank you. I know it's going to be hard but I am prepared! - Kate So he is gonna get picked on by his middle brother alot then Kate, I'm not trying to scare you or anything. But are you sure you are prepared for 6 month deployments? Possibly longer? You won't know what to expect until you actually experience it.
Author OneSailorsKate Posted February 24, 2005 Author Posted February 24, 2005 Well, I know they won't be any fun! Mike and I started out a LDR, don't forget. So we used to go that long between visits. I will miss him but I also know that he will come back. Until I have my first deployment I won't know for "sure" but I think our odds are pretty good. We've discussed a lot of things that would need to get taken care of while he was gone, etc. You're right about his middle brother picking on him but it's pretty funny to watch them spar.
Devildog Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 ah squids. Good for getting us where we need to go to fight, and for making fun of. I do hope you are ready for things. It is a very stressful thing. Large part of the reason I didn't even consider settling down when I was in. Just have a lot of patience. He doesn't have any say in where and when they send him places, so don't take it out on him.
Author OneSailorsKate Posted February 24, 2005 Author Posted February 24, 2005 I had to learn that he has no more say very quickly! It's taken a while but I finally made that adjustment. I also made the adjustment to continue supporting him in his endeavor wherever it takes us I know he is concerned about his brother at times - especially since he'll be heading back to the sandbox sometime this year. That's never something to look forward to. His family is an amazing support group as is mine so I think that as long as I keep hobbies & everything else, I will somehow survive with my 'squid' Although, my favorite joke is this: "The Marines are just a department of the Navy. The Men's Department."
Devildog Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Originally posted by OneSailorsKate Although, my favorite joke is this: "The Marines are just a department of the Navy. The Men's Department." Ah yes, that is one of my favorites for ticking off squidies.
RecordProducer Posted March 14, 2005 Posted March 14, 2005 Kate, can you please explain your problem to us again? You seem to be in love with a guy who wants to marry you. Some things are inconvenient about this relationship, but not everything in our lives is the way we want it to be. How to tell your mother? How about in English? You're close to your mother and you know she will think it's too soon. And in the back of your mind you think so too. Yet you want to rush into this marriage. Why?
Author OneSailorsKate Posted March 14, 2005 Author Posted March 14, 2005 Recordproducer - I told my mother and she is very supportive. She is helping with all the details and I am pleasantly surprised. I don't feel like we're rushing anything - we've been together for 4 years and I am glad we've moved our relationship to this level. So thanks for your input but I disagree with your assessment ok? I just was hoping for some insight - I should have posted the update sooner. Sorry.
RecordProducer Posted March 15, 2005 Posted March 15, 2005 Kewl, Kate! Congrats! We're happy for you. :-) It just seemed to me like you're having a problem with telling your mother. Other people were also trying to figure out what was your problem and were persuading you that LDR may be difficult for you in the future. So I guess we all thought you had a problem and you actually didn't.
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