silver_tongued Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 I am having difficulties understanding my feelings towards my gf's previous marriage. It wasn't a big issue when we intially started dating. But 8 months in I am feeling intensified reactions whenever I encounter aspects of marriage. My mind just plays out scenes of them saying their vows and such. Are these just my own insecurities playing themselves out? Is it always difficult to acknowledge previous relationships? Are they best left untouched and undiscovered? She says she was young and foolish, but this does nothing for me considering how seriously I take marriage. Some of my frustrations could stem from not walking down that path yet myself. Am I putting unattainable expectations on people? Or is/has marriage just become something to do, like getting a car or a new job.
Merin Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Why do you see yourself as the second man? She got married like a lot of people do.. and like most thought it would be forever.. but something happend along the way and it didn't work out.. it doesn't mean she didn't take the vows seriously or even that he didn't for that matter.. I think a lot of times especially if there are kiddo's involved (and you didn't say there are) it is harder for the next person in a relationship with someone who's divorced to get thier footing so to speak.. because the 2 people who produced those kids are always going to have that in common and have to spend some time together.. and for those who get involved with people who have been divorced without little people involved perhaps it's just in the idea that they had *promised* themself to another person..
Author silver_tongued Posted February 24, 2005 Author Posted February 24, 2005 Thanks, No kids fortunately. I think it just disheartens me to know that she has been in a position to make that commitment before to someone, and has been wrong about it. Maybe I am being to judgemental, because I really do care for her. I just don't know how to deal with these feelings.
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