silver_tongued Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 I am having difficulties understanding my feelings towards my gf's previous marriage. It wasn't a big issue when we intially started dating. But 8 months in I am feeling intensified reactions whenever I encounter aspects of marriage. My mind just plays out scenes of them saying their vows and such. Are these just my own insecurities playing themselves out? Is it always difficult to acknowledge previous relationships? Are they best left untouched and undiscovered? She says she was young and foolish, but this does nothing for me considering how seriously I take marriage. Some of my frustrations could stem from not walking down that path yet myself. Am I putting unattainable expectations on people? Or is/has marriage just become something to do, like getting a car or a new job.
Moose Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Are these just my own insecurities playing themselves out?Yes. And it's normal.Is it always difficult to acknowledge previous relationships? Maybe for some people. It was for me until our relationship grew further and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt she was no longer even thinking about him. I've come to realize that past relationships will always be a part of her life, and who she is. In some aspects, I think her past relationships have made ours that much better, because I'm nothing like him.Are they best left untouched and undiscovered?I think it's healthy to get the questions and concerns off your chest, once and for all. But then, it's a good idea to vow never bringing them up again.Am I putting unattainable expectations on people?In a way yes. You can't expect her to be able to erase those memories out of her brain. They're part of what makes her, her. You should accept that fact especially of you love her. Or is/has marriage just become something to do, like getting a car or a new job.Unfortunatley, it has for most people. I was glad to read that this concerns you because of your seriousness towards marriage. But for the most part, marriage has been destroyed, it's just a formality now.
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