ExposedBrick Posted July 28, 2014 Posted July 28, 2014 I've been seeing a woman for about 2 months, maybe 2 times/week. I'm looking for a long-term relationship/marriage. I do like her a lot but not sure I love her. I'm still unsure of our long-term compatibility. How long should it take to determine if its someone we love or could see ourselves with long-term? I've tried to take things slowly to prevent a clouded judgement FYI. Thanks.
newmoon Posted July 28, 2014 Posted July 28, 2014 it sounds like you are compatible already. if you're able to enjoy being with her and doing things with her on a regular basis than you're compatible. if you weren't, you would have known it by now and stopped seeing her. we don't spend time with people who bother us, right? compatibility (in my opinion) is more about personality than how many hobbies you have in common. are you similar people as opposed to opposites? do you have a similar view on "marriage" subjects like children/religion/money/family? it sounds like you're more worried that you're not falling in love with her fast enough, or perhaps won't at all. love can grow, but there has to be some emotional pull there, some X factor that makes you feel she is "the one." compatibility can be assessed fairly quick i think - it doesn't take years to decide if someone is right for you or not. it seems from reading LS and other sites, and books that the average time to say 'i love you' is 4-6 months, so if you don't see yourself getting to love by 6 months, I would reevaluate.
Author ExposedBrick Posted July 28, 2014 Author Posted July 28, 2014 it sounds like you are compatible already. if you're able to enjoy being with her and doing things with her on a regular basis than you're compatible. if you weren't, you would have known it by now and stopped seeing her. we don't spend time with people who bother us, right? compatibility (in my opinion) is more about personality than how many hobbies you have in common. are you similar people as opposed to opposites? do you have a similar view on "marriage" subjects like children/religion/money/family? it sounds like you're more worried that you're not falling in love with her fast enough, or perhaps won't at all. love can grow, but there has to be some emotional pull there, some X factor that makes you feel she is "the one." compatibility can be assessed fairly quick i think - it doesn't take years to decide if someone is right for you or not. it seems from reading LS and other sites, and books that the average time to say 'i love you' is 4-6 months, so if you don't see yourself getting to love by 6 months, I would reevaluate. Thanks. I would say we are very compatible on marriage subjects, which is partially what makes this difficult. I do think there may be some lifestyle disconnect though. I'm a person who likes to socialize and drink frequently, where I find she tends to gravitate away from crowds. She will definitely accompany me for dinner and a couple drinks, but I don't think she'd ever initiate a wild night on the town. I dated a similar type of girl in the past which often frustrated me. That being said, there haven't been many socializing opportunities over the time we've been dating. Overall, it does somehow feel different than past relationships. Over the past year, I dated a lot of different woman. Nothing seemed to pan out though. I found myself wondering if I became too picky and I should be more open minded. Does falling in love always feel the same or does it lose some of its luster the 2nd or 3rd time around?
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