JBlackstone Posted July 27, 2014 Posted July 27, 2014 Ok so 3 weeks post B/U, not sure I'm ready to date just for the sake of dating but if someone I was highly interested in came along, I'd be open to it. Joined match 2 weeks ago just to look. Came across a guy from town, was quite shocked to find he was single. He very attractive, great job, all that good on paper stuff. I sent him an email, more so just a friendly how are you type of message. We know of each other but don't really know each other. He responded like 5 days later! I responded to that message one day later and I have yet to hear back and it's been two days. We are both also using the Tinder app and we were a match which means he swiped right to like me. So here are my questions: 1. Should I not have contacted him first seeing as I'm the woman and people seem to frown on this? 2. Is he really not interested and is just being polite? 3. Maybe he's just really bad at OLD, or is just on there for the same reasons as me, as a sort of breakup distraction. He is divorced not sure how long but I imagine fairly recent. Again I don't really know the guy but would definitely be interested in the chance to.
Author JBlackstone Posted July 27, 2014 Author Posted July 27, 2014 Id also like to add that I was emailing another man on match and he was replying to my messages almost immediately which was also a turn off. It's one extreme or another. These poor guys! They can't win either way
Shaun-Dro Posted July 27, 2014 Posted July 27, 2014 Ok so 3 weeks post B/U, not sure I'm ready to date just for the sake of dating but if someone I was highly interested in came along, I'd be open to it. Joined match 2 weeks ago just to look. Came across a guy from town, was quite shocked to find he was single. He very attractive, great job, all that good on paper stuff. I sent him an email, more so just a friendly how are you type of message. We know of each other but don't really know each other. He responded like 5 days later! I responded to that message one day later and I have yet to hear back and it's been two days. We are both also using the Tinder app and we were a match which means he swiped right to like me. So here are my questions: 1. Should I not have contacted him first seeing as I'm the woman and people seem to frown on this? 2. Is he really not interested and is just being polite? 3. Maybe he's just really bad at OLD, or is just on there for the same reasons as me, as a sort of breakup distraction. He is divorced not sure how long but I imagine fairly recent. Again I don't really know the guy but would definitely be interested in the chance to. Just a little news for you: very attractive people don't use online dating. I think it's more for the older folks looking to settle down and those people who aren't so hot to trot. Online dating is definitely a risk I don't have any time for nor the inclination. Use caution if you decide to continue with it.
Keenly Posted July 27, 2014 Posted July 27, 2014 Do not stop initiating contact. If you like some one, you like them. The odds of them finding you in the sea of subscribers is small. Do not ever get your hopes up. On average you will have several failures before any success. I'm a little worried that you might he going into this being a little difficult or unpleaseable. Responding after days is a turnoff, and responding immediately is a turnoff, that's being difficult. 2
CharlieFox Posted July 27, 2014 Posted July 27, 2014 Just a little news for you: very attractive people don't use online dating. I think it's more for the older folks looking to settle down and those people who aren't so hot to trot. Online dating is definitely a risk I don't have any time for nor the inclination. Use caution if you decide to continue with it. Well that's absolutely BS, the rest of the post I pretty much agree with. Always use caution, and especially if you haven't met in real life, don't waste a ton of time chatting back and forth. Always work towards an actual meet as soon as possible. 1
Author JBlackstone Posted July 27, 2014 Author Posted July 27, 2014 Just a little news for you: very attractive people don't use online dating. I think it's more for the older folks looking to settle down and those people who aren't so hot to trot. Online dating is definitely a risk I don't have any time for nor the inclination. Use caution if you decide to continue with it. Yes I agree your first statement is BS. I'm no supermodel but I'm definitely attractive and I'm on OLD. I also have an atypical work schedule and I'm at work when most people my age are out doing things therefore it limits my chances of meeting someone. To me, OLD Widens my prospective pool. 1
Allumere Posted July 27, 2014 Posted July 27, 2014 Just a little news for you: very attractive people don't use online dating. Wait, what? Don't know what site you are on but I have seen some physically beautiful men and women on all the sites in all age ranges. Maybe it is how you define beauty but I see all types for all taste. I can say in my range which would be the "older" folk I assume, my reaction to my competition is "holy crap, how do I compete with that" and " I got some work to do"? 1
bentleychic Posted July 27, 2014 Posted July 27, 2014 I, personally, like it when they reply right away. I don't see how that can be a turn off? Someone responding quickly generally seems to mean that they are interested/like you. Sounds like you should back away from OLD. It really doesn't sound like you're ready.
truth_seeker Posted July 27, 2014 Posted July 27, 2014 Just a little news for you: very attractive people don't use online dating. I think it's more for the older folks looking to settle down and those people who aren't so hot to trot. Online dating is definitely a risk I don't have any time for nor the inclination. Use caution if you decide to continue with it. I'm not sold on this. I have no problem getting women in IRL but I tried match and tinder because I work on my own and everyone I know is either married or in a relationship - I don't have opportunities like I did when in college. I do agree with OLD being a risk. It allows a lot of sketchy people to prey.
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted July 27, 2014 Posted July 27, 2014 Its also possible that he met someone else online and was giving it a few days to see how the date/whatever was going before he responded? Just because people are online, doesn't mean they aren't already in the process of dating or getting to know someone. Generally, people don't take their profiles down until they become exclusive with someone. 2
Gaeta Posted July 27, 2014 Posted July 27, 2014 Just a little news for you: very attractive people don't use online dating. I think it's more for the older folks looking to settle down and those people who aren't so hot to trot. Online dating is definitely a risk I don't have any time for nor the inclination. Use caution if you decide to continue with it. Where the heck did you get that lol Plenty of super attractive people online and this of all ages. 75% of singles have an online profile, that means only 25% of singles are trying to meet the old fashion way without being online.
Gaeta Posted July 27, 2014 Posted July 27, 2014 So here are my questions: 1. Should I not have contacted him first seeing as I'm the woman and people seem to frown on this? 2. Is he really not interested and is just being polite? 3. Maybe he's just really bad at OLD, or is just on there for the same reasons as me, as a sort of breakup distraction. He is divorced not sure how long but I imagine fairly recent. 1. Not true. Of all the successful relationship that started online 37% it's the woman that made contact first. 2. He is not interested. Someone that is serious about meeting will go online and check their messages regularly. To him that is probably just for entertainment. Doesn't mean to give up on him though, you've been out of a relationship for a couple of weeks so you should only be looking for entertainment as well. 3. There is no such thing as bad at OLD. Someone that is motivated is usually on top of things whether it's online or off line.
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