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Old friends progressing into new lovers. Male perspective greatly appreciated!


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Posted

I have known "C" for almost 30 yrs. We have been the best of friends since grade school. We have been there for each other, travelled together as we got older, supported each other thru relationships, marriage etc. we could go months without talking then pick right up where we left off. We have always been a constant in each other's lives.

 

My marriage is ending, his relationship is ending. He asked me over for dinner last week. (Nothing out of the ordinary-we do this a lot). This time was different. We had "the talk" about why we never got together and we actually kissed for the very first time. It progressed into more by the end of the evening and I was blown away. He was texting me the next day making plans to get together again and to be honest, I really wanted a repeat performance. He had a few drinks and told me he always had a crush on me and he thought we would make a great couple. I think so too......then he invited me over for a sleepover the other night, repeat performance and fell asleep. I had to be up early so I left and didn't wake him. Got a text asking where I had gone in the morning, we chatted for a bit and now I haven't heard from him in 2 days! Did I screw it up by leaving? Is he having 2 nd thoughts? Why won't he respond to my texts? Is he scared of where this is going?

 

I don't want to lose him. Especially not now!!! I don't know how to handle this. Lean back and wait, or text him to talk. This isn't high school....we are both grown adults. Surely men are more mature about these things.

Posted

It goes both ways, men and women.

 

Why won't you just give it a few days, do other things, keep your mind off of this... specially during the weekend.

 

How many texts have you sent that he hasn't responded to? What were they?

 

And if you are mature adults, why are you two texting and you aren't calling him instead?

 

If I were a mind-reader, I could tell you, but there is no proper context for this situation. I wouldn't be upset if he HAD to go because you had an early commitment, but obviously he HAD to ask.

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Posted

Thanks Deizel, I appreciate the response.

 

My texts were generic. Just, how are you? Hope you have a great day etc. not sure what to think. Usually he texts right back. I wish I could climb into his brain to see what he is thinking. I'm biting my tongue when it comes to really letting him know how I feel. I'm not going to text again until I hear from him I guess. It is VERY hard. We were off to a great start.......I hope he isn't getting cold feet.

 

Does anyone actually talk anymore? :confused: I'm bad for that. I'm always texting now so I don't find texting as opposed to calling a maturity factor.

Posted

Why are you here asking us??? You need to pick up the phone and TALK to him. Open honest communication is key, especially something like this where feelings are exposed, and too much of the unknown that is being questioned.

 

This is very different from just meeting someone new, because it's a little too late for "the chase and mystery" portion. You already know each other, so you have to look at it as already reaching the advanced emotional level of commitment. Go and talk to him, reveal your expectations. Right now he could be thinking you feel you made a mistake and are backing off.

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Posted

Caveat is, HE could be thinking that too. Remember I've been texting him and HE isn't responding. I guess I'm just afraid of turning him off if I come on too strong with texting him AGAIN. I haven't heard anything in 2 days. Speaking from a guys perspective, doesn't that mean he isn't interested, it was just sex for him blah blah blah, or do guys view it differently if you already have a history with a lady?

 

F*#^ it's so tough. I WANT to talk to him, I just don't want to come across as needy/pushy/desperate.....it seems to be a fine line from a guys point of view. Push too hard, she's needy, don't push enough she's playing hard to get....

 

We women are easy. When you text us back we figure you give a s*%#, when you don't, well........:confused:

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