Dating someone with fears or phobias

[irc333]

I tend to know a lot of women that have some kind of fear or phobias of sorts. Typically with water related recreational activities. Like the media has stricken the fear of sharks in their minds and won't go past the wet sand at the beach into the water.

 

Or they won't wade beyond a certain point. Or canoeing and freaking out when they see a gator sunning itself on a log.

 

Just throwing a few examples, but can this be a problem in dating? Some guys tend to make fun of these women perhaps by reinforcing this in some form verbal joke, and they of course, don't think it's funny.

 

Maybe they had a bad experience as a child that caused them to fear certain things as an adult?

 

Would you be able to deal with someone with such phobias? Would you just be plain compassionate to this and continue to date them or would it be a problem for you? Do you like them enough to not let this be a problem?

[GemmaUK]

The men who make jokes about this kind of thing are inconsiderate idiots who sound like they like to put people (women maybe?) down.

 

Phobias such as you mention can be very real to the person suffering.

 

I've dated many men who fear rats and snakes (we don't get many alligators or sharks in the UK) and I respect their fear of them. I don't fear either but I can empathise perfectly easily when someone does without ridiculing them over it.

 

It wouldn't stop me dating a person.

[Elle1975]

I did date someone who was who was germaphobe. I wouldn't do it again, because it was a daily kind of thing. Now I also dated men who were afraid of spiders, or heights, that wasn't an issue.

 

I wouldn't let that get in the way of dating someone, but I have to admit, within reason. For me the question would be "does it impact my daily life". I mean unless you greatly enjoy diving, fear of sharks wouldn't impact your life greatly.

 

I don't swim in the ocean. I used to live in Ivory Coast, now on the East Coast, and I am scared of sharks indeed. Noise and heights are an issue too. I can see how my anxiety derived from foreign noise could be an issue for someone. I just can't live with noisy neighbors - btw they are building a staryway in front of my window, I will let you guess how I'm feeling now.

 

I wouldn't date a germaphobe no less than I would date a dirty person btw.

 

I think it comes down to "what can I live with?".

[2.50 a gallon]

They say love is a choice. When my Ex and I broke up I swore that I would never fall in love again. I lasted for 14 years, first kiss, second date, I never had that choice.

I had two major problems, first was her former BF who was off in drug rehab and they had planned on getting back together once he got clean, so time was limited.

And second after an abusive marriage, she was down right determined to remain independent and she did not need a man in her life.

About a month into getting together she called saying the water pump on her car was out could I come over? Here was my chance, I showed up prepared to change water pumps, only to find out she had already removed it and all she needed was a ride to get a replacement.

Another month and she calls, she has a stopped up drain, could I come over. Again, I show up with tools in hand. This time she looks over my tools and says, this one should do and proceeds to do it herself.

Then came a call at two in the morning. She was desperate, there was an animal in her bathroom and she was afraid to go in there. Turned out to be a small sewer roach. She is terrified of most bugs

Phobias, I love hers.

[Els]

The vast majority of people have phobias/fears of some sort, so obviously it would not be a dealbreaker in and of itself.

 

There's NOTHING that scares you whatsoever? You can jump off buildings, subdue a gator with your bare hands, stare coolly at a poisonous snake, etc?

[MidwestUSA]

Who goes canoeing in gator territory?

 

The worst I'll ever see is water moccasins (and no, they don't scare me. Startle, yes. Scare, no, I just give them their space).

[EasyHeart]

The vast majority of people have phobias/fears of some sort, so obviously it would not be a dealbreaker in and of itself.

 

There's NOTHING that scares you whatsoever? You can jump off buildings, subdue a gator with your bare hands, stare coolly at a poisonous snake, etc?

I am mostly scared of wimmins.

[Keenly]

I hope women can tolerate a phobia or two on my end, haha.

 

 

I can watch all the blood, gore, and violence in the world, but the second a syringe appears on screen, or its being driven into some one, I can't look at that crap and I shudder and cringe.

[MissBee]

Men have phobias and fears too.

 

Obviously it depends on the kind of phobia. If it is something more directly related to everyday life, yes it can be a problem, like say if a man had agoraphobia, although it's more of a panic disorder, where you're afraid of leaving your home, afraid of open spaces, fear of crowds etc. it would be difficult to have a normal dating life and a normal life period, quite frankly not sure how we'd have ended up dating. But for me, it would only be a problem if it is a phobia that impedes pretty mundane everyday things or things that are necessary for living life.

 

However, if a man had a phobia of sharks or crocodiles or water sports those won't affect my daily life or impede the relationship. I could compromise where we go to the beach and he wades or doesn't have to do any water sports. Fine by me. I have a phobia of cats... a cat lover or man with a cat would be wasting his time dating me. However, if a man is not a cat lover or owner, my fear of cats doesn't really affect the relationship and it is easy enough to live my life without it bothering me or other people. It mostly manifests as me asking about if people have cats before I go to their home and if they do I just don't go or with one of my good friends she knows my fear and if I'm coming by she puts the cat in her bedroom for the duration. But besides that I have a pretty normal life and it hasn't been a problem in dating for me.