yxalitis Posted July 27, 2014 Posted July 27, 2014 (edited) All right, Dated this girl last year for over 6 months, I was the "other guy" because she wanted to get rid of the current one, who was by all accounts a pathetic excuse for a male. Wealthy, but a selfish a*hole who only saw her when it suited him. I even moved in with her as it suited my needs at the time (going through my own divorce, no money/furniture etc). The fact that I could do this while she had this other guy should indicate how bad that relationship was. Anyway, she couldn't make the breakup happen in what i thought was a decent time frame (ie, way too long!), so I moved out and left her. I did this in a nice way, I sat her down, told her that the lifestyle we had, was hers, all she had to do was leave this guy, but I couldn't wait any longer, enough was enough. A few months later, she contacts me from China (Where she went for a couple of months to work out some financial stuff), and asks me if i want to come to China to stay with her for a holiday. "Have you broken up yet" "Yes, he is death in my heart" (English not the best). I noticed she had changed her We Chat message to "I want my life back, I hate this life" So i really think she had realised she wanted me, and made the leap to dump him... So I go to China, and upon her return we start dating again, and I plan to move in again (The place I moved into was pretty crappy). He is in business with her brother in China to the tune of several hundred thousand dollars, so he was always going to be around, but not as her BF. Everything is sweet, until lo and behold one day she rings me at 9:00pm on a Saturday and tells me she is tired and going to bed. 1. She NEVER rings me to tell me she is going to bed. 2. She NEVER goes to bed to sleeps at that hour, 11:00 pm more likely, 2:00am quite often! And when I call her at 10:00, no answer. So I pop over her place..not home...hmmm.... When I finally see her at 5:00pm the next day, she says "I was drunk at my brothers" WARNING SIGN ONE: She stays away overnight, and goes NC Now the part of my brain that actually works said: "Bull*****" But without proof, I had to take her word..you know, got to trust the girlfriend, right? Although in my heart I knew she had stayed with him, perhaps it was purely platonic, as she had to pick her car up from him early in the morning.... Look I know that seems stupid, but I really had to accept her story. Then he started calling all the time again, and she would look at me and roll her eyes, "I don't know WHY he call me all the time" WARNING SIGN TWO: he starts to contact her way more frequently. OK, but still she still doesn't see him, she never goes out unexpectedly, she never stays away...everything does seem to point to that being a once off. She tells me: "He is too selfish, he only loves himself" "I never waste my time with him again" "I have no feelings for him anymore, really" OK, so I move in a month after that event. Again, everything is fine, he calls her, but not every day, and there is no sign anything is happening, he would call and ask her out for dinner, but she would always say "no" But then everything started to become warning bells. She said she didn't want him to know I had moved in, and that we were together again, as she didn't want to hurt him WARNING SIGN THREE: she hides you from her ex. And finally a month after I move in, she starts to withdraw from sex, not in the mood, becomes a little colder, and on Saturday night she goes out to "Stay with a friend" The place she said she stayed was in the country, but she drove my car, and the toll company was only too happy to tell me that even though she removed the device that used to automatically toll the car, and put another one in, my rego was detected on the way to his suburb on the Saturday afternoon, and then back again on the Sunday morning. OK, so now I know, I confront her, and she claims that she stayed with a different male friend who just happens to live in the same suburb, and didn't tell me because she was afraid I wouldn't like her staying with a man. "But nothing happen" I pretend to accept her word, even though I know now for sure she is a lying b!itch. The very next Saturday, she goes away again!! This time she parks my car at her friend's place a block away, and I guess he came to pick her up (That way I couldn't track her movements). So now I'm in a pickle, I've moved in with her, all my stuff is here, but I know she is a cheating slag, and I have to find a new place. That takes time, I really don't want weeks of horrible unpleasantness until I find a place. I simply can't confront her now, then have to stay here., I don't have anywhere else to stay. What's my best course of action. Confront her now, tell her I know, to stop bull****ting me, and to leave him or I go (even though I'm going anyway, trust me on that). Lay low, find a place, then, simply leave her one day without a word, go NC. Find a place, then do a dump and burn; tell the ex I've been with his gf for a year, send him the intimate photos I have, and describe her little sex quirks so he knows it's legit. Tell him about the OTHER guys she screwed behind his back before she met me, again with proof. Make it so he can never trust her again. Find a place, and THREATEN to tell the ex, unless she gives me back some money I lent her (A few thousand), to assist with furniture and bond etc. Yes, i know I'm a bloody idiot for moving in with my suspicions, I know that, I don't need to be reminded! Edited July 27, 2014 by yxalitis
irresolute Posted July 27, 2014 Posted July 27, 2014 Please stop following her! You're not a detective, are you? If she's trouble, just stay away of her but please stop acting as crazy as she seems to be. She's not that into you. Simple as that. If she were, you shouldn't have to act as a detective of the lies she tells you.
Author yxalitis Posted July 28, 2014 Author Posted July 28, 2014 OK, I can't edit my OP, so I'll clarify. I don't KNOW she stayed with him on the first night, I did not follow her, spy on her, or anything like that. As for the second instance,. I was contacted by the toll company as my toll balance had dropped below a threshold , and needed topping up. My GF said she was going somewhere with no tolls, so I obviously wondered what happened. She travelled in his car with my toll device in her handbag, and it picked up my device, otherwise I'd have had no clue as to what was really going on I asked for an investigation as I assumed there was a toll fault, as the rego did not match up with my rego number. That's how I found out, not by stalking her, but dumb luck.
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