Wisecrack Posted July 26, 2014 Posted July 26, 2014 It seems to be a trend with all the woman I pursue or date. Sooner or later I will stop messaging them and things just die and the girl moves on. I don't know why. It's like I am tired of woman, drama, the whole relationship sha-bang (even though I want to be in one or find a chick). What is wrong with me? How do I motivate myself more?
Chalkdust89 Posted July 26, 2014 Posted July 26, 2014 If you're just looking for a "chick" to be in a relationship with, you're probably not focusing on finding the RIGHT woman. Wanting to be in a relationship for relationship's sake is a great way to get bored dating a bunch of people who you only think you like because they're obtainable. 1
Assasda Posted July 26, 2014 Posted July 26, 2014 There is a point in the relationship where you have to ramp up the tension, and let the girl want you. Ask a lot of questions 1
Versacehottie Posted July 26, 2014 Posted July 26, 2014 Give some examples besides just the messaging part. If that is your main example, I can tell you the problem likely is that this is not a real way to conduct a relationship, whether the beginning or otherwise. You have to involve the person in your life and do things together. Talk on the phone at least some too. Plant seeds for future etc of things you want to do, places you want to go. Tell the person your hopes and goals (doesn't have to be cheesy). Usually if I hear what you are saying from guys, it is because they are not comfortable opening up and letting people into their lives--thus find it hard to feel close and are not really invested. It's a shame really. Anyway, you also just might not be at that place in life. Lots of people want to date around and deep down have no need or intention to be serious with anyone because subconsciously they know that that's not what they want to be doing now. It will get in way of other goals or they don't have much to give. That's ok too--just come to terms with it. If this is the reason, some day the right person will come along and you will feel differently and act accordingly. If it's the first reason I wrote about, usually that behavior will continue to carry over and will prevent you from having what you want on the one hand. Sometimes I also think that people get bored because they are not very connected or motivated in their own lives. Thus the person who comes into it, who provides excitement at first because it's new and the chase, becomes boring to them because you expect that feeling to continue. Here the real problem is that you have to get passionate about something. Either a specific hobby or living life to the fullest or at least fuller than you have been. Then you share that excitement and your excitement about your own life with the person and it typically grows for both people. Lastly, you could be dating/picking the wrong girls. If they are attractive but just looking for a boyfriend without much else going on, you are gonna get bored. Lot of pressure from those types without much to show for it. Inherently, you must realize it at certain point and want to move on--that could be it too. Figure out which scenario it is and then you can address the solution. Good luck! 1
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