Boyfriend Probs Posted July 26, 2014 Posted July 26, 2014 You might want to the other thread I made a while ago for more details. WARNING, it is pretty long. So my boyfriend of four months finally came back from his summer academy two days ago, earlier than expected. We never really made it official until 4 months ago, but really we were dating for almost an entire year, just never put it into words. During the month he was gone, he barely made any effort to contact me. I posted about it here on LoveShack and you guys advised that maybe he felt like I was suffocating him too much when he was busy experiencing new things and I should back off. So I did, and when I gave up talking to him our "conversations" (in quotes because they were never more than like 5 messages at a time and were very shallow) went from 2-3 times a week to once a week or so. I swear I have NOT been acting clinging towards him at all. And it hurts so much because I thought if I backed off he would eventually come around and miss me too but no... He's been back for two days now, and I know he's not affected by the jet lag at all, since I've seen him online for hours on this game that we both play. Yet he barely makes any effort to talk to me except for a single message: "its so hot here". This might be normal with other guys, but before he left, we were very close. He messaged me for hours each day and from morning to night we would always try to keep in contact if it was possible. Everyday began with a good morning and ended with a good night. I agree our constant contact was a bit excessive and unhealthy for us, and needed to stop, but not to the point where I barely talk to him at all now. He even told me he loved me, and he acted like he did, too (I never said it back because I felt like although he did truly like me, he was confusing infatuation with love). He also always talked as if we would still be dating for the last two years of high school (although we never brought up college), but I don't know why it's like this now. I can't even talk to him properly about this because we barely talk! I hate how the one month he was away has ruined us. Yet at the same time I wonder if maybe it is for the better, since maybe our relationship was never strong enough anyways if it's going to end like this. I wonder if I should break up with him. Every day that goes by, I go back and forth between whether or not I should break up with him. But at the same time I hold onto the hope that maybe, just maybe he's been super busy. But no matter how busy you are, you make time for the important things if you truly want to, right? And it hurts to let him go when he's still so important to me, and until this point in the relationship, he's always been a good boyfriend. And then there's the whole issue of actually breaking up if I do decide to go through it. Where? When? How? What if I regret it? I think it'll break my heart if I see him ask another girl to Junior Prom.
Author Boyfriend Probs Posted July 26, 2014 Author Posted July 26, 2014 (edited) Also, before dating my boyfriend, I was best friends with this girl. And he had a guy best friend as well. Over the past year, we've formed this good friendship between all four of us to the point where I now can call all three of them good friends. I'm scared how if we break up, our four way friendship would be ruined. Also, in case it sounds like we were in an online relationship (since I did use the word "chatting" a lot), we weren't. We saw each other at least 3 hours a day in class + we shared one same club and sport. So I really did spent a huge portion of my sophomore year with him. Edited July 26, 2014 by Boyfriend Probs
ExpatInItaly Posted July 26, 2014 Posted July 26, 2014 He's been back only two days? Give it some time. Have you suggested hanging out sometime soon? If he's not too enthusiastic about seeing you, then you have your answers.
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