JayWhich Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 (edited) Hi guys At this time of writing i'm very angry and feel as if i've been made to look like a complete fool! Long story short , my ex gf (first love) split with me a few years back, left me for another guy who must have slithered his way in at some point but anyway she left me and was with this guy for 2 years and split with him few months back not sure when. Up to this point i was NC the whole time after giving up on trying to get her back right after our split. She came up to me in a local bar about a month back , tried to talk to me wasn't having much of it but was polite enough. However it was a downhill spiral form there i messaged her a month after this accidental meeting wanting to clear the air, lord knows why, she thanked me and said the same then she added me on facebook then twitter a few days later which i accepted (foolishly), then i made the biggest mistake ever i asked her if she could see us getting back in future to which she said it isn't over between us for good and she does want to settle down some day. Immediately after asking her this i regretted it and felt i made the biggest mistake ever, i also loooked at a recent post she made on twitter , where she is clearly missing her ex boyfriend who btw is a complete ass who im pretty sure has slapped her about a bit or close to. So i blocked her and im not going to look back this time i caved in too easily and i think she got a big boost over it, but clearly she's not into me anymore, she said she's glad we are getting along, but i guess it's hard cuz i still like her but i have to walk away from this for good, that was the mindset i had during that long NC i mentioned. My gut instinct the during this small spell of contact was she was just looking for a ego boost. I am doing the right thing right? Edited July 25, 2014 by JayWhich
d0nnivain Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 NC is a healing tool. Getting away from her in RL & on social media will help you move forward.
Author JayWhich Posted July 25, 2014 Author Posted July 25, 2014 Yeah i know i was NC for almost 2 years, so disappointed in myself for caving in, im just angry that i think shes probably sitting there thinking she can have me when she wants me type of thing
supportlove Posted July 26, 2014 Posted July 26, 2014 I think you overreacted a bit by blocking her on social media. If you really like/love her, you should swallow your pride. She is in pain right now by her recent break up which is understandable. I think after 2 years' NC, you should be over those crazy emotional stages. Follow your heart. Don't let pride get your way. Don't invest too much right now. Just be cool and see how things go. Setup some boundaries for both of you, don't let her use you.
Author JayWhich Posted July 26, 2014 Author Posted July 26, 2014 (edited) Perhaps i have oveereacted, but when she spoke to me for the first time in 2 years and when we messaged each other a bit i felt the feelings came back and past couple of weeks i've been struggling so i think it was the best for me to do it this way it may be a slap in the face for her but its not about her or her feelings. I can honestly seeing her getting back with her ex boyfriend, she still hangs around with his friends on occassion, so i am preventing any future hurt by doing it this way. Edited July 26, 2014 by JayWhich
supportlove Posted July 26, 2014 Posted July 26, 2014 (edited) Oh, I understand better now. Downside: she got hurt by her current ex. She had a strong feeling for her ex, not you. Upside: she just got hurt by her current ex! Perfect time for you to step in. You are right. It's not about her. It's about you! If you love her and still have feelings for her, then take a risk and give it another shot. Make her love you again. You are not in any form of relationship right now. What to loose? If you don't think she worth your effort anymore, then don't be confused, believe in your judgement and keep doing what you do. It's just my opinion. Edited July 26, 2014 by supportlove
Author JayWhich Posted July 26, 2014 Author Posted July 26, 2014 (edited) Im not going to step in i think some of my old feelings that resurfaced have clouded my judgement, its for the best in my mind i don't bother again for good. End of the day she let this guy into her life during our 3 year relationship and ran off with him in the end. Which is why it hurts me because i made the terrible mistake of getting into a brief spell of contact with her which i feel she doesn't deserve from me, i'll never forgive her so i may aswell move on for good. I did try to get her back after we split for up to 6 months post break up and it failed so no point now and the vast majority of me doesn't want her, it's just a small part of me does which is what made me act out on all of this. Thanks for the advice though, appreciated! Edited July 26, 2014 by JayWhich 1
irresolute Posted July 27, 2014 Posted July 27, 2014 After 2 years nc and still feeling that rollercoaster? This thread really make me feel hopeless I feel sad for you, though, but I really hope if an ex contacts me after all that time I couldn't care less.
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