erklat Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Hi friends. I'm usually just over at breakups but I had a row with my buds about difference in views and approach. Their view - play on luck to meet her in the middle of the season, approach her while she has phun on a girls night out, strike convo, try to get number. Fail is I'm not particularly good aat night game and I will probably be a bit nervous becauseoof that. My idea - I know where she works, try to impress her with cuteness overload little inexpensive gift and a playful note calling her out . She has the opportunity to not respond or say no . Wooing on workplace puts a lot of stress on her so the odds are against me but I have already speech outline prepared. My friends are against this badly. We will have a mutual acquaintance and told me she was cheated on so maybe this is a good route to take? Summary * I suck at night game. I hate buying her with drinks. She is with her friends, lot of people, lot of stress. * I'm pretty good with being cute, I have about 65 percent success ratio we ended together. Bad thing the tension is on her because of the seller - buyer relation. *I'm introvert and not being funny guy. I don't feel natural that way. I'm no freak either but my idea is something I'm successful at and that is more genuine me. My friends always consider going to a club is the way to go. She has her friends for that. I ammmore intimate atmosphere kind of guy. Now I'm being convinced it will not definitely work. Best case scenario. - we go out on a date. I don't need mine or hers friends as luggage Worse case scenario - she says no / doesn't contact me. I can live with that. Worst case scenario - I let the idea go and wonder what could have happene. Can I have some opinions, please. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 My idea - I know where she works, try to impress her with cuteness overload little inexpensive gift and a playful note calling her out . Bad, bad, bad... It reeks of desperation and buying her attention. Just ask her out - either she says yes or she says no. But there is no "cuteness" to getting gifts for someone you aren't dating. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Bothering her at work is a BAD Idea. Don't play games. When you see her out, strike up a conversation then ask her out. Very simple. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author erklat Posted July 25, 2014 Author Share Posted July 25, 2014 Bad, bad, bad... It reeks of desperation and buying her attention. Just ask her out - either she says yes or she says no. But there is no "cuteness" to getting gifts for someone you aren't dating. Yeah, I that is the part same as the one buying her with drinks during night game :/ The gift is something trivial like heart shaped chocolate or bubble gum or something simila. IIt is not custom tailored or something I spent a lot of attention or money on. She gets wooed at night. Maybe even at work a lot but idk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author erklat Posted July 25, 2014 Author Share Posted July 25, 2014 Bothering her at work is a BAD Idea. Don't play games. When you see her out, strike up a conversation then ask her out. Very simple. That might never happen. Also showering her with attention while she is with her friends is equally bad from my experience. Plus as I said I'm handicapped there. So pretty much either disco club night game or drop the idea? At least it's a dilemma now. Link to post Share on other sites
torturedartist Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Hi friends. I'm usually just over at breakups but I had a row with my buds about difference in views and approach. Their view - play on luck to meet her in the middle of the season, approach her while she has phun on a girls night out, strike convo, try to get number. Fail is I'm not particularly good aat night game and I will probably be a bit nervous becauseoof that. My idea - I know where she works, try to impress her with cuteness overload little inexpensive gift and a playful note calling her out . She has the opportunity to not respond or say no . Wooing on workplace puts a lot of stress on her so the odds are against me but I have already speech outline prepared. My friends are against this badly. We will have a mutual acquaintance and told me she was cheated on so maybe this is a good route to take? Summary * I suck at night game. I hate buying her with drinks. She is with her friends, lot of people, lot of stress. * I'm pretty good with being cute, I have about 65 percent success ratio we ended together. Bad thing the tension is on her because of the seller - buyer relation. *I'm introvert and not being funny guy. I don't feel natural that way. I'm no freak either but my idea is something I'm successful at and that is more genuine me. My friends always consider going to a club is the way to go. She has her friends for that. I ammmore intimate atmosphere kind of guy. Now I'm being convinced it will not definitely work. Best case scenario. - we go out on a date. I don't need mine or hers friends as luggage Worse case scenario - she says no / doesn't contact me. I can live with that. Worst case scenario - I let the idea go and wonder what could have happene. Can I have some opinions, please. Be yourself 100%, completely, and don't try to hide your nervousness--you'll only make it worse. Approach her in a manner that doesn't make you look like a stalker (i.e., not where she works). Tell her you like her and avoid any cliche pickup lines or pre-prepared speeches. Just be honest about your feelings and intentions with her. Women have a 6th sense for sensing insincerity in men. So be sincere. It's your best plan. I can guarantee you that any amount of insincerity will blow your chances with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Themanwithaplan Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Yeah, I that is the part same as the one buying her with drinks during night game :/ The gift is something trivial like heart shaped chocolate or bubble gum or something simila. IIt is not custom tailored or something I spent a lot of attention or money on. She gets wooed at night. Maybe even at work a lot but idk. God no. Don't give her a thing. Material possessions should be the last thing on someone's mind when talking to a 'potential' early on. What do you mean wooed? What is that? Link to post Share on other sites
Blade96 Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Women have a 6th sense for sensing insincerity in men. " Oh yeah. I think partly due to a bad past, I've had to learn a lot of things and generally mature very quickly. Due to this, I often feel myself that many times my way of thinking is more on par with a 50 year old than almost 36 year old woman. I can pick up on insincerity pretty well because of this. Maybe not at first - anybody can hide true selves for a while - but trust me, I do find out who is and who is not, sincere. Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Do not tell her you like her right off the bat - You dont know her. Dont approach her at work. Dont buy and gifts. THe cute stuff that youre talking about is weak and desperate. Best Thing to do is probabaly what your friends said. Go up to her ask her what drink she likes. Tell her your favorite drinks and why. Ask her if she lives close to where she parties, stuff like that Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 go with the best case scenario.....catch her alone invite her out or use the note approach if you are that shy.....if she likes you it will be yes ...good luck.dont first date with friends attached take her somewhere public though..deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author erklat Posted July 26, 2014 Author Share Posted July 26, 2014 She works at a public place. We often go by but I feel kind of stupid just to ask her where she hangs over there. I'd rather tell then and there I like her because I feel happy when I see her even I don't know her and I would like her to know her better. I don't know where she hangs + loud music + my friends put a lot of tension on me = fail? I like to approach women on my own, I'm not outgoing and funny but out of the bunch I'm most handsome. I'm not shy. Often times I come out too hard. I'm just imbalance when it comes to women. For example I don't have female friends. We are either romantically involved or we don't know eachoother. Link to post Share on other sites
Author erklat Posted July 26, 2014 Author Share Posted July 26, 2014 Yeah, that kind of happens sometimes because I tend to see her or mine friends as unnecessary luggage during courting phase. I like doing things alone but it is sometimes difficult to find woman which would like to go on a date alone soon (or fast) whereas my social needs are extremely low. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 How old are you guys & where, exactly, does she work? If it's a job, something she's doing part time while in school it may be OK to drop by her work & ask her out, especially if you don't know where else she hangs out. If it's her career, maybe not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author erklat Posted July 26, 2014 Author Share Posted July 26, 2014 It's summer job. I'm freelance programmer. She works at a candy shop. I'm 7yrs older so it's late/early twenties. I have to admit I can't expect anything serious becauseewe are not on the ssame page in life but to get together couple of times can't be bad. Logic of my friends - we ask where she hangs, she's there with friends, we court them, they feel important because they are into clubbing and are young. Expensive, probably inefficient, puts a strain on me because I don't do it that way. My logic - play with her at candy shop couple of times and her colleague too. Odds are against me, strain is on her because I'm customer, difficult to gauge her interest because she's paid to be nice. Wtf I sound retarded. My friends think we ask them all out, we get to know each other better, I ask her out. My logic, I play with her couple of times, ask her, the two of us go on a date to know each other. - thiseworks better with older wome. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Now armed with this new info, I think you can go into the candy store & ask her out. Try to pick a time when she's not busy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author erklat Posted July 26, 2014 Author Share Posted July 26, 2014 So I'm to disregard my friends molesting me I shouldn't do anything coz I'm more calm and not into clubbing type of guy? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 At some point you need to live your own life & not follow the herd (your friends). What do you want to do? Unless she's really into clubbing, the fact that you are not should be a non-issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author erklat Posted July 26, 2014 Author Share Posted July 26, 2014 We were jestering a bit. She told me couple of things about her life but her body language was not that much open even she told me from wheresshe is, why she works there, her age, what school she went I talked with her friend also a lot. And caught up a smile and eye contact as I left the shop. We'll see. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Why didn't you just do it? Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 erklat, this isn't a Hollywood movie... stop trying to apply movie logic to this situation. That's all I see you doing. How about you stop focusing on just her and ask other women out as well in the meantime? Just seems like you are putting too much effort/thought into this. A speech prepared before-hand? Really? Hey, use some cue cards too, and a tiny stuffed animal that reminds you of her. That always works in the movies too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 My idea - I know where she works, try to impress her with cuteness overload little inexpensive gift and a playful note calling her out . She has the opportunity to not respond or say no . Wooing on workplace puts a lot of stress on her so the odds are against me but I have already speech outline prepared. Summary Doesn't matter Can I have some opinions, please. Just ask her out. Like, "there's a party in my pants and you're invited!" is better than your idea. At no point should you do your idea. Just tell her you enjoy the chats you've been having with her and would like to take her to some chic restaurant you've been meaning to try because they serve weird and unusual food. Did I mention they also serve regular food that you will like? Something like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author erklat Posted July 26, 2014 Author Share Posted July 26, 2014 erklat, this isn't a Hollywood movie... stop trying to apply movie logic to this situation. That's all I see you doing. How about you stop focusing on just her and ask other women out as well in the meantime? Just seems like you are putting too much effort/thought into this. A speech prepared before-hand? Really? Hey, use some cue cards too, and a tiny stuffed animal that reminds you of her. That always works in the movies too. The idea is discarded. I have other options too. Just she's number one. She's not the most beautiful one... One thing though I'm afraid is something tells me she's the same Marilyn Monroe type like my ex. Hence the attractio. -.-' I am not thinking about her all the time? I just thought of some ideas. I can't barge just in like a lawn mower and ask her out. I'd like to go out with her. She's not the only thing I think about. Why didn't you just do it? I was trying to see her body language. This is the first time we actually chatted. Last time doesn't count as I was stoned and wanted some sweets. Just tell her you enjoy the chats you've been having with her and would like to take her to some chic restaurant you've been meaning to try because they serve weird and unusual food. Did I mention they also serve regular food that you will like? Something like that. Cmon it is better than buying her and her friends drinks all nights. It will be in the end something like that. We'll see how it goes. She also needs to be relaxed as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 Talking about your "night game" and your "65% success ratio" (what, do you keep statistics?) is just gross. As much as pick-up artists would like you to believe that you can quantify all social interactions, you can't. Human intimacy is not a game of D&D. The "cuteness overload" is a terrible idea. I would be very creeped out if a guy I hardly knew bought me a present, even an inexpensive one. Just ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author erklat Posted July 26, 2014 Author Share Posted July 26, 2014 I don't do the pua thing. I read some articles but I don't practice that. I wouldn't court her if I was doing that. And I simply count. It's first grade mathematics how many women I approached and how much responded in romantic fashion. What is gross in that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author erklat Posted July 31, 2014 Author Share Posted July 31, 2014 I asked her and she declined. I just shrugged with my shoulders smiling and said her see you around. I wasn't pursuing to turn no into yes. I'll write in my thread some other observations. Link to post Share on other sites
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