HappyLove Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 I'd suggest not doing that. A man who wants you will make it clear. These conversations initiated by a woman a lot of times it's awkward for the guy and puts him on the spot. They tend to say yea just because they are being nice about it. I'd leave that conversation alone and let things happen on it's own. 9
Survivor12 Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 I think that telling him while away on a trip with a couple of children isn't a very good idea. So, what if he doesn't feel the same? At the very least, you have a very awkward weekend. To be honest, it sounds like a set up & he may feel pressured. Even if he is interested, he may not be comfortable expressing his feelings with children present. If you're going to tell him, do it after the trip. Caveat: For me, if you have to tell someone that you're interested, it may be premature. When two people have romantic interest in each other, it is usually apparent & doesn't require an announcement. Discussion about the nature & boundaries of a relationship (i.e. exclusivity) comes later. 4
Keenly Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 I'd suggest not doing that. A man who wants you will make it clear. These conversations initiated by a woman a lot of times it's awkward for the guy and puts him on the spot. They tend to say yea just because they are being nice about it. I'd leave that conversation alone and let things happen on it's own. Hogwash. I am excited to hear the results about what you are about to do.
Author DeluxeYou Posted August 9, 2014 Author Posted August 9, 2014 I understand the point you're trying to make. I also feel it's romantic to let it develop naturally. But maybe I should give you a little bit of explanation in relation with my love life. To cut a REALLY long story short, I have deep wounds emotional wounds and scars caused by a STRING of relationships which I wanted to let develop by themselves, but I ended up with breakups that sounded like: "Oh I didn't know you liked me?! Your best friend confessed her feelings, that's why I decided to go out with her...Sorry. I'd have loved to know though..." or, with a different man, years later "It's not as if we had decided to be exclusive..." just to mention a few, and leaving out other stories of me keeping someone in my heart for years without letting them know, then I had to forget them because they died, or got hitched to someone etc... Suddenly, I read things about the same things happening to us over and over again because we keep doing things the same way...so I told myself that for a change I could let the bird out of my heart for once...
HappyLove Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 Are you dating this guy? Does he ask you out on dates?
Author DeluxeYou Posted August 9, 2014 Author Posted August 9, 2014 Are you dating this guy? Does he ask you out on dates? Yes he has... Coming home visiting me with my family around (which means a whole lot in my culture) and taking me out. It's been 3 months, and we've kept it strictly platonic, which is why I felt I had to let him know I want more of him. You can also check previous threads I made about this friendship for more details.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 Yes he has... Coming home visiting me with my family around (which means a whole lot in my culture) and taking me out. It's been 3 months, and we've kept it strictly platonic, which is why I felt I had to let him know I want more of him. You can also check previous threads I made about this friendship for more details. I'm a bit confused. He's taken you on dates yet it's strictly platonic? Meaning?
Author DeluxeYou Posted August 9, 2014 Author Posted August 9, 2014 Yep...exact! We're friends already...so in theory our "dates" could be described as mere "hanging" between friends. When we see each other, we talk about a thousand and one things, confess a thousand and one secrets to each other, but nothing about the big L yet.
HappyLove Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 Sounds like a friendship so far but you want more. Well if you ask at least you'll know yes or no and you can move on.
preraph Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 I understand the point you're trying to make. I also feel it's romantic to let it develop naturally. But maybe I should give you a little bit of explanation in relation with my love life. To cut a REALLY long story short, I have deep wounds emotional wounds and scars caused by a STRING of relationships which I wanted to let develop by themselves, but I ended up with breakups that sounded like: "Oh I didn't know you liked me?! Your best friend confessed her feelings, that's why I decided to go out with her...Sorry. I'd have loved to know though..." or, with a different man, years later "It's not as if we had decided to be exclusive..." just to mention a few, and leaving out other stories of me keeping someone in my heart for years without letting them know, then I had to forget them because they died, or got hitched to someone etc... Suddenly, I read things about the same things happening to us over and over again because we keep doing things the same way...so I told myself that for a change I could let the bird out of my heart for once... You can't bring your problem into every new relationship. It will only screw it up. He doesn't need to have to commit to something prematurely just because it would make you feel more secure. Sorry. You shouldn't tell him at all. If you like him, it will show. If he reciprocates, you'll know it.
ThorntonMelon Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 Shoot straight. If he can't handle it, screw him.
KatZee Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 OK maybe it's just me but I'm a little bit confused by this thread. OP, from reading the situations with previous men, it seems to me that you think a relationship is going to just happen out of thin air with nothing coming from your end. You state that every single guy you've ever liked never even had a clue you were interested. How do you act when you are in the presence of a man you like? You use the word "platonic" a lot so I'm going to assume the way you act, is like that of an uninterested woman. Do you flirt at all with these men? I think if you were doing SOMETHING to show even an iota of interest in them, they would have known and reciprocated in kind. And likewise with this new guy. He can't move past "platonic" because it appears you give off ZERO signs that you're even the tiniest bit interested. "Hanging out" isn't enough. You have to show the man you are interested (if you indeed are). Be flirty: giggling around him, big smiles, drawn out eye gazes, playful, lingering touches on his arm. If you're not giving a guy any green light to progress past "platonic" then a lot don't have the courage to just make a move based off of nothing. I'd say DO NOT make your feelings known in a verbal way this weekend. Act more like a girlfriend instead of just his friend. See how he responds to that.
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