RoxStar Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Do any of you believe in "soul mates"? I started thinking about it and I dont even know if I truly know what a soul mate is. I truly love my guy but I dont know if he is my soul mate or not. What is a soul mate anyway????
Butterfly28 Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 WOW. I really enjoyed reading that. I am hoping the man who I am with, whom I love dearly, and who I actually see a future with will be that "SOULMATE" I've always been searching for! I've only been with him for 6 months. I felt an immediate connection which I later identified as "infatuation" at first, but then slowly up until recently I realize that I truly DO love him. For many many reasons. #1 - His battle with testicular cancer made me admire who he was as a person. He survived it and is cured. I was with him through the whole ordeal. At the age of only 32! His outlook on life is completely different now. (I guess it would be!). He has learned to love more, judge less, and not to be so PICKY over petty things and women. He's learned to accept his imperfections, and to embrace his good qualities. Therefore he has given me the love I deserve, without predjudice. Accepting who he is, has taught me to accept who I am, and to love unconditionally. #2 - We rarely argue. Not saying that it won't happen, but he has also taught me to really think about what bothers me, what may annoy me about him from time to time, and LEARN how to talk about it, without getting overly upset unneccessarily. In past relationships I never thought about it that way. I was always used to "If it bothers me, I will fuss and fight and make my point KNOWN!". Talking is better than arguing, although sometimes difficult, it makes a big difference in the success of a relationship! Yes, I hope my bf does end up being my soulmate. I will only know that in time, and I have all the time in the world for him.
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Having someone be your soulmate and thinking someone is your soulmate are two entirely different things. I've seen people throw around the 'soulmate' term about someone when they are in the delusional 'madly in love' stage. The very nature of this stage is all about showing someone exactly what they want to see in order to assure yourself a spot in their heart. So, people who are madly in love aren't seeing the person, so much as they are a highly idealized version of that person seen through murky 'love colored' glasses. "Soulmate" tends to show up a lot too when you have one person who is in a long term relationship with someone, cheats on them and finds to their absolute delight that the OW or OM is the "soulmate". That is, until they get to know them, the initial thrill is gone, and it becomes apparent that their original long term relationship is long term for good reasons. "Soulmates" in that context can be said to be "false mirrors". You look into them and you see what you want and what the other person wants you to see, not necessarily what is there. In terms of soul mates as defined above, yes - I do believe that it can exist. I have met certain people with whom I've had an inexplicable bond. It isn't necessarily sexual or romantic, so much as it is about mental and spiritual compatibility. Soulmates to me are the ones who allow you to look into themselves so that you can see yourself staring back at you: the real you - not an idealized version. How do you find them? I've never met one while seeking it out. In my experience, you just meet them, but - you can't arrange to meet them.
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