Pleasant Surprise Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 Lately I've given some thought to what my ex told me when we made our initial split and when we stopped talking altogether. Basically, when we first split, she told me that she's not ready to be in a relationship, doesn't want one, and wasn't as into it as I was. These reasons, at the time, seemed legitimate. We're very young and it was her first relationship. Maybe these things were true. She ended up leading me on, telling me that she was confused, blah blah blah. I didn't pay attention to the red flags and blindly sought out reconciliation. It failed. I got angry and told her to leave me alone and give me some time to cool down. Since then (about a month I stopped counting lol) I haven't contacted her and she hasn't contacted me (minus the time she favorited my tweet). In our last talk, she offered friendship to me. I never really told her no or yes, and I don't plan to in the near future. Anyway, lately I've been pretty upset over the whole thing again and I've been thinking about it a lot (almost like a relapse, I felt fine for a few days actually). I know the reasons she gave me were probably not true and she either gained interest in someone else or lost interest in me. Or both. I also know that I shouldn't care about this at all. But I do. I can't seem to move past this...the memories always come back and a smile creeps onto my face. I feel guilty for it. I feel like crap, too, for knowing she doesn't feel the same way. I'm impatient to move on, partially, I think, because I'm still holding on to...something...and the only true reason I want to move on is because I feel she already has. I'm so lost. Sorry for the thread spam, I know I've made a bunch already.
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