adame3 Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 Hey LS So I was chatting with this girl on a dating site, I were asking all the questions and let the conversation flowing, she seemed interested, but didnt ask any questions in return. I asked if we should text instead, and she gave her number with no hesitation. When i texted her mine, she even added me on Viber. Now, I started out by asking advice and she gave a pretty nice and detailed answer. Afterwards, I asked what she was up to, and she said she was relaxing, but didnt ask about what I was doing. However, she always wants to lay the last message in a "conversation",with a comment or smiley, which leads me to believe that she is interested. What should I do? Its kinda hard that the burden has to be on me, it shouldve been 50-50. I'll attach logs by Pm if anyone wants further details. Thanks for upcoming advice Adam
CharlieFox Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 I've had my share of trying out dating sites in the past, and in my personal experience, it's really rare to have a good connection with someone based on just chatting... I mean sometimes it happens, and you get lengthy conversations with someone fairly easy and early on, but many of them also lead to nothing. If you're interested in this girl, you should set up a meeting with her, you need that personal connection. I've noticed that many, and I mean many people appear totally different in text than how they are in real life. So, meet up! 2
Zippy2000 Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 I agree with Charliefox. I ve been and still doing internet dating. A lot of these women are "attention whoring". A lot of conversations just lead to no where and "POOF". The girl you speak to just disappear! If you ask her to meet and shes ambivalent about it then you can guage her interest from there. 2
Gaeta Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 Absolutely agree with 2 above posters. When you switch to text it's to set up a date. We're Friday morning it's time for you to offer to meet over the weekend. Lets see how she is in person. 2
Author adame3 Posted July 25, 2014 Author Posted July 25, 2014 (edited) Okay guys, I hear you. You're probably all right, it's hard to etablish a connection based on a few pictures and a few texts. She lives about an hour and a few minutes away (public transport, 50 mins with car). Would that count as a long distance relationship, if it were to turn into something? That's also the reason I have hesitated a little. Wouldn't it seem kind of weird, only having been writing a little for 3 days and then going on a trip lasting so long? Would it be more proper to meet up in the city where I live or? Thanks, I am probably being a turd right now, but I am really inexperienced with dating.. I am also only 18 by the way, if that makes any difference. Edited July 25, 2014 by adame3
CharlieFox Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 You are not a turd, no one said you are, and you shouldn't say that to yourself. It's all fine. Are you hesitating because you wouldn't like that there is a certain distance between you to, or are you hesitating to ask her to meet you? That's the first thing you should ask yourself - if you are sure you want to try this. Then you worry about what she might think. The way I see it, the only reasonable next step right now is to establish the meet. Ask her out; there's no way of knowing how she'll respond to that. She might bring up the issue that you live too far away, or that she wouldn't want to meet you, or that she would gladly meet you, etc. Until you ask, no one knows. Just to clarify, is it the same city you're living in? 1
d0nnivain Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 I wouldn't count it as a LDR . . . possibly GUD (Geographically undesirable) because you are an hour away but it's not like you couldn't see each other once per week & every weekend. Some people around here do 1 - 1.5 hours each way as a daily commute. She may be shy or she may be trying to let you, the guy, take the lead. Meet in person before you make any real decisions about the kind of person she is. 2
Author adame3 Posted July 25, 2014 Author Posted July 25, 2014 All right, so it wouldn't count as LDR, well, that's at least good to hear. Now, what would be appropriate for a first date? She lives in a smaller town, I live in the city. Would going to the beach in her town or at my city (there are beaches at both places) be appropriate? Going to the movies (this might not be the best, especially due to the heatwave) or meeting at her/my house? I have no issue with taking the first step, but I am unsure whether it should be in her town or in mine.. That's the reason for my hesitation. People usually meet at parties are invite each other to parties here to continue, I do not have that option for at least 2-3 weeks as everyone are on vacation. What place would suit the age of 18/19 which we have? Adam
d0nnivain Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 You don't get to go to anybody's house on a 1st date from OLD. Too many safety concerns. If you want to be a gentleman, throw it out there that you'd be happy to set something up in the middle or you go to her. Let her pick. She doesn't come to you for the 1st date if you are playing by some old gender stereotypes, but since you can't really go wrong with chivalry, go to her. A good 1st OLD date is casual & cheap. You can't spring for dinner every 1st date or you will go broke. Since you mentioned the beach, I'd pick a cool beach hang out like an ice cream shop & follow up with a stroll. You meet at the designated location. 2
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