Sugarkane Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 An old school friend is Facebook friends with my ex friends. Even though they were never friends with each other at school. I got bullied and backstabbed by my best friend and the whole group ostracized me. Not one person asked me. What to do? I still think about it as it was cruel and childish and nobody offered me an explaination.
Author Sugarkane Posted July 24, 2014 Author Posted July 24, 2014 I still don't know why my school friend has them on Facebook. They weren't friends and they didn't mind freezing me out.
Tbisb74 Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 One: you need to redefine the term 'friend' for yourself. Two: you need to not care a jot. 1
ja123 Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 How many years have you been out of school? How many years ago did this happen? At what age did this happen? How old are you and said friends?
amaysngrace Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 I don't not like people just because someone I like doesn't like them. Maybe she is that way too? 2
Glinda.Good Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 Her friendships with other people don't have anything to do with her friendship with you … especially when we're talking about Facebook "friendships." You are highly critical of people in your life.
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 One: you need to redefine the term 'friend' for yourself. Two: you need to not care a jot. I understand how this could rattle your cage particularly if it was a life changing experience for you that left some scars BUT I also agree with Tbisb74 in that you need to redefine the term "friend" if this is the case. I know that any one of my BFF's; my closest friends who know all my dark and scary bits and who would fall on a sword for me, would NEVER friend someone who hurt me or least not without first speaking to me about it first. I question how close you are with this "friend" you speak of. Perhaps you're not in which case you're going to have to find a way to make peace with it. Your experience is not her experience after all.
Author Sugarkane Posted July 25, 2014 Author Posted July 25, 2014 I don't not like people just because someone I like doesn't like them. Maybe she is that way too? Well if that's the case, why was I ostrasized? This is how I became friends with this girl in the first place.
Author Sugarkane Posted July 25, 2014 Author Posted July 25, 2014 Her friendships with other people don't have anything to do with her friendship with you … especially when we're talking about Facebook "friendships." You are highly critical of people in your life. Well why would she even be friends with them? She had nothing to do with them before! Why after years?
Author Sugarkane Posted July 25, 2014 Author Posted July 25, 2014 How many years have you been out of school? How many years ago did this happen? At what age did this happen? How old are you and said friends? I'm in my twenties and happened a few years ago. It hurt to see that my backstabbing ex best friend is still friends with these people, yet I got tossed aside. I regret how I delt with this. As usual the school did nothing about the bullying. I wonder why people are so easily manipulated, why I have trouble making friends?
Author Sugarkane Posted July 25, 2014 Author Posted July 25, 2014 Everyone on here says acting like an ahole is wrong. But this ex best friend wasn't above bullying and ostrasizing me. She really went out of her way to do this. She also befriended my ex boyfriend just to try and piss me off.
Glinda.Good Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 I don't think I am even clear about what your issue is here. Your "ex best friend": Is this the person you started the thread about? The one who is FB "friends" with the schoolgirls who ostracized you years ago? I understand that that hurt you, but that was in your past. Be friends with who you like, and forget the rest. Others are going to do the same. I doubt that many folks in their 20's are concerned with taking sides on a high school fight anymore. Leave that behind, you're not a teenager anymore.
Author Sugarkane Posted July 25, 2014 Author Posted July 25, 2014 I don't think I am even clear about what your issue is here. Your "ex best friend": Is this the person you started the thread about? The one who is FB "friends" with the schoolgirls who ostracized you years ago? I understand that that hurt you, but that was in your past. Be friends with who you like, and forget the rest. Others are going to do the same. I doubt that many folks in their 20's are concerned with taking sides on a high school fight anymore. Leave that behind, you're not a teenager anymore. Yeah both about why is my school friend got their contacts for? And it annoys me I never got closure from it. I'm not a teenager but these two faced sheep are still friends with each other? I don't think I'm Asperbergers but I don't understand this?
Author Sugarkane Posted July 25, 2014 Author Posted July 25, 2014 And have since experienced similar situations eg being ostracized at work.
Author Sugarkane Posted July 26, 2014 Author Posted July 26, 2014 Her friendships with other people don't have anything to do with her friendship with you … especially when we're talking about Facebook "friendships." You are highly critical of people in your life. Is it highly critical to wonder why they all ostrasized me without a second thought? What makes people like this, think that they'll be the exception to my ex best friends behaviour?!
todreaminblue Posted July 26, 2014 Posted July 26, 2014 Is it highly critical to wonder why they all ostrasized me without a second thought? What makes people like this, think that they'll be the exception to my ex best friends behaviour?! i got bullied badly at school and when i was a child...some of them i now have as face book aquaintances......they added me.....to me that shows a maturity......they might not have even known how badly i felt at times or that what they did affected me deeply..... ......who knows i really dont care anymore that part of my life is over.....i let it go..what they did isnt important in my life now......except to help other kids who i see being bullied and as an adult.... .it is good to have empathy for kids who get bullied......so they did me a favor....they helped me develop my empathic abilities gave me a higher level of intuition ..a deeeper actual knowledge and understanding .......along with gods plans for me on this earth..... made me an empath to bullied children...i should thank them...nah....lol....not going that far...i thank god instead fro getting me through it .....alive and kickin...but i am over it...let it go ...it only will make you bitter...help others who you see getting bullied reach out to them and let the others go....i never got a sorry i dont need one.....i dont need an explanation i would prefer to use what i have been given to help others now.........deb 1
Author Sugarkane Posted July 28, 2014 Author Posted July 28, 2014 Ironically one of these girls are supposed to be Christian. What a joke.
camillalev Posted July 28, 2014 Posted July 28, 2014 Maybe you are being ostracized because you're constantly focusing on the negative.
Author Sugarkane Posted July 28, 2014 Author Posted July 28, 2014 (edited) Maybe you are being ostracized because you're constantly focusing on the negative. I wouldn't be if people weren't such sheep and betrayed me. Edited July 28, 2014 by Sugarkane
Author Sugarkane Posted July 28, 2014 Author Posted July 28, 2014 I've also experienced this as an adult. Mean Girls don't change.
Tbisb74 Posted July 28, 2014 Posted July 28, 2014 I wouldn't be if people weren't such sheep and betrayed me. Like I said: Either re-define your definition of 'friend' or find better ones. Not everyone is a sheep. Me? I classify myself as a particularly rare breed of mountain goat....I don't play 'Follow my Leader' with, or for, anyone.
Tbisb74 Posted July 28, 2014 Posted July 28, 2014 Ironically one of these girls are supposed to be Christian. What a joke. That has about as much significance as 'an onion can knit blankets'. I'm surprised you still believe such a trait should mean anything.
Author Sugarkane Posted July 29, 2014 Author Posted July 29, 2014 Yet their still friends to this day. How can someone lie and backstab like this, but yet everyone still thinks their Shyte doesn't stink? Sadly it seems it takes physical assault or a school shooting for the schools to take victims of bullying seriously.
Author Sugarkane Posted July 29, 2014 Author Posted July 29, 2014 Thanks but I don't really want to help these people. Not one person helped me at the time. I don't want to set myself as a doormat and more possible abuse. i got bullied badly at school and when i was a child...some of them i now have as face book aquaintances......they added me.....to me that shows a maturity......they might not have even known how badly i felt at times or that what they did affected me deeply..... ......who knows i really dont care anymore that part of my life is over.....i let it go..what they did isnt important in my life now......except to help other kids who i see being bullied and as an adult.... .it is good to have empathy for kids who get bullied......so they did me a favor....they helped me develop my empathic abilities gave me a higher level of intuition ..a deeeper actual knowledge and understanding .......along with gods plans for me on this earth..... made me an empath to bullied children...i should thank them...nah....lol....not going that far...i thank god instead fro getting me through it .....alive and kickin...but i am over it...let it go ...it only will make you bitter...help others who you see getting bullied reach out to them and let the others go....i never got a sorry i dont need one.....i dont need an explanation i would prefer to use what i have been given to help others now.........deb
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