Just wanted to know if you think there is still a chance...

[secretcharmer]

I copy and pasted this from something I wrote a while ago, so there are already some updates on here. Thanks for reading! I was just wondering if anyone thinks there is still hope that we can try this agin at some point? Im on day 30 of NC.

 

Okay so everything before summer was going great! Everything was normal and perfect.We had been dating for 2 years, Official for 16 months or so. We go on summer break at the end of May and we weren't talking everyday like we normally do on breaks, so she tells me she wishes we'd talk more. So we started talking more, but not 24/7 like before. Then we went to a mutual friend's 21st birthday in Vegas and had a great time. She told me during the trip that she wanted to go there for our 2 year anniversary which is next February! Then we leave again and she goes back home where we go to school. Apparently she got a little depressed there because she worked nights and all of her friends worked days so she was constantly alone. She did go out a few times to a bar for this football camp thing that all the coaches went to. Her friend's roommate is a coach so he invited them to go. There was this guy there that was stalking her and so I was getting jealous and stuff, which admittedly I am a jealous person. We have talked about my jealousy before and always gotten over it, but this time it didn't seem to bother her. (I trust her completely, but I still get anxiety about it cuz i've been cheated on and seen so many cheaters.) Anyway at the end of the week she went to her par tens house 4 hours away and we skyped a lot and had fun. Then she went to Colorado which is where she grew up and she went to Country Jam which is a huge music festival. She told me she wouldn't be able to talk a lot because her phone battery sucks and she couldn't charge it and she needed it in case she got lost or whatever. So we only talked briefly a few times over those 4 days, but all seemed normal. Then on the last day as she was leaving I sent her a message about my stupid jealousy again and how I didn't like her being drunk swing dancing with bunch of her guy friends that all have crushes on her and blah blah blah. She responded with "can I call you later?" and so I asked if I could just call her now and she said yes. She was crying and saying how she's been feeling the last few days that she isn't sure about us and her feeling this was so sudden but she was confused and didn't know how she felt. She barely said anything she was just crying and said she didn't know. So she said she needed time and she'd call me later. 3 hours later she calls and said she didn't know why but she felt she had to be single. She said she loves me and that I am awesome and everything. She said we may have met too young, and that we have a lot of experiences to have and that we are so young blah blah blah. She barely said anything this time either. I never really got a response but she said I was pretty much right when I said it was a combination of her depression from before then her having so much fun at country jam, and my jealousy. I probably made her feel like she couldn't do anything without her having to worry.

 

Additional details: I was talking to her best friend during those 3 hours and she said she had no idea what was going on and that my ex was really confused and this was hard for her. She said not to write her off yet, but that was before she broke up with me. Her Dad said that when she was visiting them a few days before she was excited to see me and go on vacation with me, which was this past week, and that she always expressed she loved me. I had been in contact with her mom for a few days after the breakup and her mom said my ex was avoiding her which she only does when she doesn't want to face reality or she doesn't want to be questioned because use either doesn't have the answer or doesn't want to give one. Then last monday I talked to her mom and she said she finally got ahold of her and my ex said she doesn't know what she wants in life and is very confused. She felt something was missing between us to see a future. She wasn't feeling the way she should and that she feels bad because of how great I am but I deserve someone who isn;t going to second guess. I haven't been in contact with her Mom since.

 

More additional details: Her Best friend was supposed to move in with her where we go to school but is no longer doing that. This means that my ex no longer has a roommate option for this coming school year, which is probably a huge factor. My ex is apparently also considering moving back to Colorado and giving up her college life, her sorority, her friends, the job she loves, the chance to see her family anytime she wants (who she is very close with), and giving up in state tuition. She left colorado because she didn't want to end up there and end up like all of her friends did. She always loved me for helping her get out of there and now she is thinking about giving up everything to go back! I don't get it.

 

Updates: She is not moving to colorado she is going back to school where I go. Also her best friend who is also a good friend of mine texted me about remaining friends with each other and mentioned my ex is really confused and I won't lose her from my life, but she might just be in it in a different way...but she also "liked" a picture my buddy posted of me and him like 1.5-2 weeks ago...so idk

[d0nnivain]

Your college relationship was built on the strength of the proximity provided when you are both at school.

 

Your irrational jealousy aggravated a precarious situation because you were pressuring her & accusing her based on other people's behavior.

 

Maybe when school starts again & everything is "normal" it will be OK but you are just going to have these problems again next summer.

[secretcharmer]

Yea that's what I am thinking. It was definitely a problem, but it's never gotten to the point where she calls it quits. I've honestly gotten over the jealousy thing because if it means losing her, it's just not worth it. This is the 3rd time we have done the "apart for break" thing and it's never been like this.

[Chi townD]

"Updates: She is not moving to colorado she is going back to school where I go. Also her best friend who is also a good friend of mine texted me about remaining friends with each other and mentioned my ex is really confused and I won't lose her from my life, but she might just be in it in a different way...but she also "liked" a picture my buddy posted of me and him like 1.5-2 weeks ago...so idk"

 

 

Her friend is trying to set you up for the friend zone (she might be speaking on her behalf). Sorry, dude. I'm pretty sure you didn't get into a loving and caring relationship with her to ultimately be nothing more than a really good friend to her.

 

 

Focus on the upcoming school year. Keep busy, study hard, work out and join some clubs. Avoid her like the plague and look to your future, not your past.

[secretcharmer]

Ya, you are probably right. I am still hoping she has no idea what she wants still, and then when she sees me it all hits her. But hope is a funny thing in these situations...

[Griesfootball]

College relationships stink because very few want something serious which is the point I'm at. But all I can say is don't let your future be affected by this girl. Do your work, find a hobby or sport, and keep a job if you have one because it's important to set your future up whether she is in it or not.