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Dating a Man Who was Sexually Abused as a Child


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Posted (edited)

This is new territory for me since most men don't talk about sex abuse. I can relate, and that's probably one reason why we can understand each other.

 

Is there anything I can do to help him be more emotionally intimate? At times, he talks very fast about work, but is more closed with his feelings. I do leave him be when he withdraws, but unsure if I'm missing key issues.

 

Thanks in advance.

Edited by Powerful40s
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Posted

I hope you both can heal. Just be understandable as much as you can.

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Posted

I am concerned that he hasn't dealt with the trauma properly and may not be ready for a relationship.

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Posted

You are a thoughtful girlfriend. He must trust you quite deeply to share his past with you.

 

All you need to do is to be tender with him, and communicate about the issue. Ask him what he needs from you in order to feel safe, good, sexually healthy. Ask him what his triggers are.

 

When you know his story, then you can be careful about his vulnerable areas. Always ask him if you are unsure. Abuse takes away power, so give it back to him by putting him in the driver's seat .

 

You can have a wonderful relationship, as long as you two are talking about it, and you are responsive.

 

Remember, we are not our wounds. This happened to him , but it's not him.

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