red2002 Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 How do people who have built a life with you, lived with you, shared everything with you, find it so easy to just walk away?
dumbass2 Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 How do people who have built a life with you, lived with you, shared everything with you, find it so easy to just walk away? Because they walked away a while ago and you were still into the relationship? Maybe look back for signs. Things that were happening that maybe you missed and didn't confront? They could also not be taking so it easy, but felt it had to be done. They may be having a hard time with it as well. I'm sure you don't know what they are truly thinking or feeling right now?
NoLeafClover Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 How do people who have built a life with you, lived with you, shared everything with you, find it so easy to just walk away? They don't. It's just an image they created on our heads. All my dumpers that I have talked to after years when both were moved on or when they ran into my friends right after they broke up with me...pretty much said they could not stop thinking of me and even thought about contacting me. Yet they never did .... I guess it's true, talk is cheap. 1
Author red2002 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 Say for example we split up recently and im expecting to hear from her about picking something of hers up soon, am i ok to leave it somewhere outside which should be safe for her to get so i dont have to see her?
NoLeafClover Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 Say for example we split up recently and im expecting to hear from her about picking something of hers up soon, am i ok to leave it somewhere outside which should be safe for her to get so i dont have to see her? I know it sounds silly but I feel like I have mastered the deal with sending packages to your exs back. First thing how long has it been? Was the breakup a bad one? Was she being mean or ugly to you? 1- it not a good idea to send gifts she got you. Only send personal stuff she has left behind 2- do not send letter/love card etc 3- ONLY SEND if its important enough. Do not send a plastic ring you got her from a coin machine or a pair of sucks. 4- Send it via mail or with a mutual friend. I do not suggest doing it in person if she/he broke up with you and did it in a crappy way and then started to ignore you on purpose. 5- KNOW AFTER YOU SEND THE STUFF BACK, YOU MOST LIKELY WILL PISS HIM/HER OFF and might get mean messages. You are pretty much saying here is your stuff, I mean business and I am done. It is going to be perceived as a kick in the balls from the other partner and that bruises their ego as a dumper. Even if they weren't sure if they were done with you 100%. Dumpers love to string things along because they doubt things afterwards. THIS HAPPENS ALMOST ALWAYS EVERYTIME. I know this and have had this happen more than 3 times and 2 times I have talked to the dumper after a couple of years from BU they confirmed just that. The dumper I got on here originally in 2012 did just that. She sent my stuff back (pair of socks, condoms, dumb items etc.) after I sent her stuff back first and went totally NC until after we got in touch not long ago(I am and was way over it by then) Because her ego was bruised and she sent my some little items of mine to get a reaction. Then she got very sad and upset after a couple of months from doing it. My recent ex, was NC and even blocked me after I went to talk to her at her work so we could work things out (1 week after we BU). She would not talk to me, or even reply to me as I was asking her to stop being childish and not give up on us. NO REPLY. I then went NC, waited another 1 week and sent her stuff back after I did not hear anything from her. I drew the line I was done. What do I get back 2 days after I sent her stuff? MISS TOO COOL DECIDES TO MESSAGE ME. But it was different this time. She got mean and seemed to blame me for giving her exactly what she wanted...THE BU SHE ASKED FOR. She texted saying she was so mad at herself for loving me and that she would send me gifts I got her back. She even went as far as calling me sick but I never replied to any of her stuff. BLOCKED SHE GOES. She reached out again after a few more days being even uglier to me. Putting me down and telling me that she hopes GOD directs me to the right path and helps me find happiness... Get it from my experience, Dumpers HATE to get an UP ONE on them. They can't stand the dumpee sent the stuff back and is making a turn on them. Be the bigger person. Sent the stuff back and COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR. No BEEP NO MESSAGE NO LETTERS. No matter how bad you want to be with her/him. Go NC and block everything or it's going to set you back. As far as getting your stuff back? DO NOT GET THEM. Not worth the heartache in my opinion but IF ITS IMPORTANT HAVE A FRIEND CONTACT HER AND PICK IT UP.
Author red2002 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 Break up was 3 weeks ago, moved out 2 weeks ago. Was a weird and sudden break up, literally after having a nice vacation together. We have both lashed out a bit, but have tried to be civil as we have bills to sort out. I let her stay the other night as she was going out, and now lives in another city. Didnt go very well! She left something which she says she wants back, so im expecting a message from her, and the likelyhood is she will want to pick it up after work. If not i guess i have nothing to worry about. Im trying to go NC now though, and really dont fancy seeing her!
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