What is your honest about my story? should i call my friend and ask about this?

[frustrated human]

hi everyone. I am new to this forum.

i really need help.

My story is very big and filled with small details.

well 5 years ago i met a guy at internet.

He proposed me. i said no as i thought my family would never like him. Then after one year i said yes to him. He was looking for job. Then he joined a a software developing company. He was 8 years elder than me. My family was ok with him. So we were engaged. But i didn't feel this was love or anything.

Anyway our relationship was long distance relationship. And he was very boring. i still gave everything i possibly could gave in this relationship. he had a few bad habits he promised me he would leave but even after 2 years that didn't happen. anyway we didn't have any sort of fights

we both are mature individual.

Things i noticed bad is he was interested in other girls but he tried to show me he was decent. But i knew the truth and ignored it.

He was damn careless towards me. Only thing he was talking about is himself

He was very selfish. as i told it's a long distance. I always had to go to meet him. He came only twice at my place.

At the beginning i was one day somehow lost the street he shouted over me very badly. Anyway he keeps shouting at me at times.

At my one birthday he called his friends at his place. i was alone. He was gossiping with his friends at the whole birthday event at that restaurant. I felt like a complete stranger and it was my birthday party!! wow !.

i was shattered he said sorry to me i was like ok. There are few more pathetic incidents which i don't wanna remember including how to be affectionate on public or protect your gal.

Anyway i knew everything was missing in this relationship. My friends told me about it that there is something missing. Still whenever i wanted to leave him he threatened me like he would commit suicide and all.

One of my friend named Stary she was unhappy in her every relation cause her boyfriends weren't rich according to her. Even though she sounded envious towards me but still i hear from her she said there is something major lacking. As i am a person i never ever told anyone how my fiance treated me badly unless it's too wrong.

But as she was my very good friend she told me that by seeing me.

Even my one other friend she said i never discuss my love life it's weird. Usually girls are not like this.

But everyone around me were busy with their bfs nd i was the one who heard them all and discussed solutions. I never had time to think about my relation as i thought it's long distance that's why may be like this. But deep inside i knew i didn't love my fiance. He never did anything to make me feel loved or special. Even he was having a job when we met i paid half of the bills. -_-

He never gave me a surprise. I eat chocolates he even hesitated to buy me that. Sometimes i felt he is miser.

Anyway

I had a childhood sweetheart he kinda loves me too much.

He proposed me at 2010. I was shocked cause this guy was my first love. I always thought and wish if he could love me. But due to some misunderstanding we both thought we don't love each other.

Then I knew he loved me truly. Even after knowing about this fiancée of mine my friend kept loving me. He didn't stop loving me ever. after all of this i realized it's high time now. I told my fiancée that i don't feel he loves me. He is just sort of using me as there should be a girl around him always who can look after him always. I am kinda caring person.

Anyway he said my friend is immature i should not think like that. And started showing too much care and love suddenly. I thought ok let's give him a chance more.

Then again after few days he went back to his careless avatar.

I had fight with my friend as he thought he deserves me. He said i was there always to take care for you whenever you need me. I know every bit of you. I know how you talk walk. Still you didn't give me a chance. My friend was angry with me and he just decided to not bother me anymore.

Anyway time went i realized this fiancée guy if mine is a pile of ****.

Suddenly i was shifting into some other city my friend came to meet me.

I couldn't control and asked him do you still love me?

I saw his eyes were glittering with tears. He replied to me angrily : why should i? So that you could hurt me more?

I was feeling a heartache i can't describe. I said just give me one hug.

He said: i won't. Why you wanna make my life more difficult? You will be leaving soon. Take care.

I said sorry to him for all our fights during those period after he proposed to me.

Anyway he melted down told me he still loves me like hell.

He couldn't move on with any other girl. I know that. Cause i seen him refusing some really hot girls.

I told my fiancée i wanna leave him. He again told me i am doing big mistake and all. I made my decision and dumped him. He try to pacify me by many ways

He even lured my best friend to trick me into some trip so that he could get me back. But i was strong this time.

He started calling my friends to make plans. Anyway my friends told me that. I felt bad for my fiance and i told my friends that if he calls talk to him console him.

Anyway one of my friend as i mentioned before is starry i didn't like her very much due to her drama queen kind of attitude she told me my ex is bothering her by calling. I left him at january 4th. 2013

 

i

told her whatever if he calls console him. She

said

ok.

Then she got busy in study. I got busy in my life.

One day i checked she deleted my id from her fb

when i asked y u do that she told me it's her

university id so she wanna keep her family and

close friends aside from there.

Day by day her calls were getting less. And she

didn't receive my phone. Still i see she is in full

contact with my ex through fb. He was like a big

bro to her before but suddenly their approach of

talking changed. And one day i could't find her id.

I discovered she blocked me.

I called her again to ask why she did so. She

didn't reply to me. She ignored the call.

I called my ex. He said he didn't knew cause he

didn't had any contact with her without fb. One

night one of our mutual friends find both their

phones waiting at late night 4am.

My ex has a job. He never talked to me at that

late

ever.

Anyway after some tricks at fb i finally discovered

her new id and six months later i got to know

they

were engaged at march when i left my

ex.

just within two months that too with my close friend!!!

Ps: I have no headache as my ex approached my

friend. But i can't stop my anger about her

betraying me

And i didn't cheat on him ever. I told him everything right away plus i warned him thousand times as i would leave him if he will not be responsible.

 

Suggestions please.

I can't control my anger when i think of this girl. Because of her i made lots of sacrifices i am not writing here as it's already too big.

Note this : at January i dumped him.

He still called me.

At February he continued his calls nd said he knows it's all his fault. But he misses me. He can't get over me.

At march his calls were less he sounded rude.

From april he stopped calling. I had to call as he had my sister on his fb id i told him to remove her.

He started accusing me that i betrayed him.

At may he was harsh.

At june i called him cause i get to know he called my sister back in march and tried brainwash her and tried to create chaos in my family which he failed to do.

 

Then at August i called him for the last time when starry wasn't Answering my calls from April.

 

And 2014 march i got to know that their anniversary of one year is 2nd march.

 

Now what do you think? Did i done anything wrong by telling him about my childhood sweetheart? I didn't wanna cheat on him. I hate most in this world is that betrayal. I would never do that to anyone.

Still he blames me?

If i can't feel any damn love why should i be with him ?

And if he loved me he should have fight but he didn't.

Plus within two months he hooked up with one of my close friends. My friend didn't have the guts to face me hence she didn't reply?

And if they are right when at August i called him he said he has no contact with her? Whereas they were dating from past 5months?

How can u date your self acclaimed best friend's ex? Whom you consider as big bro?

Your thoughts on this please. I feel really angryangry!!

Edited July 22, 2014 by frustrated human
mistake

[preraph]

I'm sorry your friend betrayed you. No matter if she knew all along you weren't in love with him, it's still just irresponsible to get involved with close friends' exes.

 

You need to completely get out of both the girl friend and the ex's life and leave them completely behind. You need to block him on FB and on phone and email and block her on everything -- everything. You need to refuse to gossip about this to any mutual friends of yours and hers or yours and his because if you keep that up, that is only continuing the relationship and keeping things stirred up and making him think you still care. You have to get your dignity back. So block these two out of your life right now and don't discuss it with any friends or relatives connected to them. Just do it.

 

After you have that mess cleaned up, you can date whoever you want, the old guy or new ones or both. To get the old guy back, wait 3 months and tell him "I have blocked everyone connected with him for the last three months, and I am done thinking about him. Let's get together" -- and then do not talk about him at all unless he asks and even then, tell him you're tired of talking about it and ask about himself and how he is doing.

 

I have been in a mess almost this big before where everyone actually knew everyone else and it was all very incestual and betrayal and you're only in control of yourself. So kick them to the curb.

[frustrated human]

dear preraph

thanks for your reply.

finally someone understands me.

well i am back with my childhood friend already.

and i don't discuss this to anyone that's why i am here. Everyone knows they both played

And i was in love or not she perhaps know that's not the point

my frustration is she talked to me over phone till april she said she was extremely bored of my ex.

She is a drama queen and she has some really bad habits of planning plotting. As i know she planned revenge with us for one of her ex bf.

see i blocked my ex back in March when he was rude with me.

and she opened some whole new id for him.

i couldn't get what's wrong with her and all and theny other friend she told me she was night pranking and giving everyone mc that night late at 4am she found both their cell waiting.

i was shocked cause she wasn't talking to me and constantly lying to me so i spied and get to know this ugly truth.

You know i had full faith on her that however she is she would never do this to me.

I can't imagine she has hots for my ex.

and for that reason she left my friendship behind and even didn't tell me anything.

i am pretty sure even she told bad things about me to my ex hence he suddenly started blaming me. If i check back all time spans everything fits.

still i am hurt as she did this to me. She is so ungrateful.