Merin Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Ugh.. so it's been a rough last week for my BF.. with having an infection from his vasectomy to a car accident and now.. he's sick Now.. he is one of those guys that will get me anything, do anything for me when I'm not feeling good or need him.. he's right there. He is also that guy that will insist I take medication or see a Doctor if I'm sick.. or ya know tell me to eat more.. sleep more.. whatever.. point being, he cares about me, and takes care of me. However.. he is also that guy who will tell me not to worry about him.. he's fine.. he can take care of himself.. He is so sick right now.. has a fever, tired.. feels like sh*t and he's at work (he never misses work) I want to help him out and do what I can to make him feel better.. but yeah.. he always tells me he will be fine, he doesn't need anything.. IF YOU'RE one of those people who always tells their SO that they are good to go and don't need anything.. tell me.. What is it that really would make you feel better, but you don't want to ask for?
hugznkisses21 Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 my bf is like this sometimes....he doesnt want to look weak infront of me...but then there are time when im sitting beside him and he just wants me to run my figers through his hair with his heasd on my lap. I read in cosmo one day that men with never tell ut hins but they love to be taken care of and baby-ed.....maybe make him some soup and let him lie on you and just rub his back or something....so he can resta nd get better
tattoomytoe Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 just love on him. make him something he will eat, tell him you will take care of him tonight, get him some ice water. basically just be there with him, is all.
Author Merin Posted February 22, 2005 Author Posted February 22, 2005 Thanks Girls.. Ugh! LOL I don't know why he has to be so damn stubborn on this.. he doesn't make a *great patient* I don't want to annoy him you know?
hugznkisses21 Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 ya i know....he if he wants to go to bed or whatever....let him or if he wants to be na quite room to rest alone let him...u know guys they like to handle things on their own...as a "MAN"....but i would be there and help him relax and fell better until be says im ok just want to go to bed or be alone then i agree with tatto get him his meds, water and soup and be there
tattoomytoe Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 men are never more annoying than when they are sick! they do not want help, but the do want attention and pity....(they really do want help though) my house philosophy is: "You cannot complain, unless you have taken something, or tried something"
hugznkisses21 Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 good theory... MY bf is the biggest whiner and baby when he is sick it is unbeliveable
Author Merin Posted February 22, 2005 Author Posted February 22, 2005 The one time ever he was *really sick* like throwing up all night sick.. he felt bad.. I was like WTF why do you feel bad? LOL not like he could help it.. and I wanted to help him.. He's coming over to my house tonite when he's done with work.. sooooo.. maybe I'll grab some dvd's on my way home and cook his sick a** some food?! Trying to get him to take medicine is worse than giving injections where I work though! Damn him! LOL
Moose Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 He just doesn't want to be a bother. Provide him plenty of fluids/food without asking him. That way he's not responsible for putting you out.
Author Merin Posted February 22, 2005 Author Posted February 22, 2005 Originally posted by Moose He just doesn't want to be a bother. Provide him plenty of fluids/food without asking him. That way he's not responsible for putting you out. I will do that Thanks Moose.. Let me ask you this though.. he takes care of me when I'm sick (yep even though I don't ask him too) but I guess I don't see it as me buggin him.. and I wonder why he would feel he was a bother to me? Sheesh, I love his a**!
hugznkisses21 Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 because men are creature that like to fix their own problems....and everyone elses...not have their problems fixed. He just being an allmightly manly man thats all i wouldnt take it personally. sometime when my man is sick he doesn want me to come over...understandable he would rather take care of it himself and not feel like he is a pain in the a** to me even thought he knows i like taking care of him..........it just the way men are!
FolderWife Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Some people don't want to be bothered when they're sick. Some people like to brag about how sick they are *the elderly are bad for this* but some people *like my mom* wish to be left alone. They don't want people *especially the person they find most attractive* to see them sickly.
Moose Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Probably because we feel like it's our duty as your man to take care of you. I know that you feel the same towards him, but it makes us feel like everything we've done for you is being erased when we ask you to go out of your way taking care of us. So we'd rather do what we can ourselves. But providing for him without him asking is a loop hole. Does that make sense?
Author Merin Posted February 22, 2005 Author Posted February 22, 2005 Originally posted by Moose Probably because we feel like it's our duty as your man to take care of you. I know that you feel the same towards him, but it makes us feel like everything we've done for you is being erased when we ask you to go out of your way taking care of us. So we'd rather do what we can ourselves. But providing for him without him asking is a loop hole. Does that make sense? OOOHHHH the Loop Hole uh? I think you're all right in some ways.. He is not at all *Girly* LOL so yeah.. I think it's that he doesn't want me to think he CAN'T deal with things.. He does (like you've said Moose) think it's up to him to take care of me.. so yeah.. I can see that. He doesn't like me to see him throwing up.. uh.. not that I'm all about it either LOL but still! so good point Monday.. Okay.. Dvd's, food, fluids and backrubs without being asked is on my agenda tonite, thanks you guys!
Anais Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Originally posted by Merin OOOHHHH the Loop Hole uh? IOkay.. Dvd's, food, fluids and backrubs without being asked is on my agenda tonite, thanks you guys! I hope he gets well soon Merin. My husband is sick today and stressed. I can do noting for him because of distance. I am very sad and fed up of LDR. Sigh
CurlyIam Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Make him a hot chicken soup, change his sheets, air his room, and prepare lots of cups of hot teas of milk and honey. Don't say anything, just act normal, like he's just momentarily undisposed. Don't sa anything about his condition. It will make him feel at ease if he doesn't see you dead worried. Or if you don't speak about it, for the matter. If he likes sweets, you could buy/give/make it for him... just a little sign that he desirves a special treatment. hugznkisses21, our bfs must be identical twins !
Author Merin Posted February 23, 2005 Author Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by Anais I hope he gets well soon Merin. My husband is sick today and stressed. I can do noting for him because of distance. I am very sad and fed up of LDR. Sigh Thank you Anais.. I'm sorry your husband is so far away.. hang in there;) My BF.. I for real hope he starts feeling better soon.. he is so cranky! I spoke with him about an hour ago.. he said he was going to come over.. I'm making black bean and ham soup with fresh cheese bread.. sooooo uh... 1)He's not hungry 2)He's tired 3) He doesn't want to drive all the way home in the morning (I usually always drive and stay with him) 4) He's not taken any meds, and uh.. doesn't want to 5) He's not trying to be cranky 6) What do I mean when I say "Okay" 7) What do I mean when I say "Whatever would make you feel more comfortable" 8) Did I mention he said he's cranky? AAAAAGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So thats the *story* I got on the phone.. sheesh.. uh.. so yeah.. pizza hut it is, screw the dvd's, not bothering taking out the nyquil, not saying okay or what can I do for you babe.. That should do it.. Damn it!
whichwayisup Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Sorry he's feeling YUK!! 4) He's not taken any meds, and uh.. doesn't want to Just give him water and the pills, hand it to him and say "Here, take this." (FIRMLY) Get a cool washcloth and put it over his head, tell him you love him and walk away...lol. My H becomes Super Grumpy a$$ when he's sick. What a BEAR. I bring him what I think he needs and he just eats it or drinks it. He hates pills too, but knows he HAS to take them. (Later he always says, wow, my headache is gone and so is my fever! Like HELLO!! Gee, I wonder why?) I give him as much space as possible. IF he really needs me, I know he'll yell out to me. Men... BUT, he also likes that I DO stuff for him and watch your BF near the end when he starts to feel better!! SOME men love this time because that's when they can milk it! LMAO!! I know some of you know what I'm talking about!
Author Merin Posted February 23, 2005 Author Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Sorry he's feeling YUK!! Just give him water and the pills, hand it to him and say "Here, take this." (FIRMLY) Get a cool washcloth and put it over his head, tell him you love him and walk away...lol. My H becomes Super Grumpy a$$ when he's sick. What a BEAR. I bring him what I think he needs and he just eats it or drinks it. He hates pills too, but knows he HAS to take them. (Later he always says, wow, my headache is gone and so is my fever! Like HELLO!! Gee, I wonder why?) I give him as much space as possible. IF he really needs me, I know he'll yell out to me. Men... BUT, he also likes that I DO stuff for him and watch your BF near the end when he starts to feel better!! SOME men love this time because that's when they can milk it! LMAO!! I know some of you know what I'm talking about! Thanks Girl He came over.. funny because he got to my house about 2 minutes after my EXH came over here to drop off my little people (my BF and my EX haven't met) Soooo my EXH was parked in my parking space... looking at my new car (yay LOL I got a new car!) I told him that he needed to move his car because my BF was going to be here in a minute.. then I saw him (my BF) Drive into the complex where I live.. my EXH looked over and didn't get right on moving his car ugh! So my BF parked down a way.. I see him walking up towards my house.. my EXH stood there for a minute trying to get a look at him he got in his car and drove slowly away.. him looking at my BF out the window and my BF looking at him while he was walking.. he got inside and said "Was that your boy?" agh! told him yeah it was my EXH dropping off my peeps... he grumbled about him being parked there and looking at my new car for a minute.. I did end up making the soup and bread, so when he got in I just got him food and set it in front of him.. LOL which he did eat.. my girls had the next door neighbor over (one of my daughters classmates) to play for a bit.. after he ate he went upstairs and layed down on my bed with the covers over his head LOL uuuggghhhh I got him some cold medication and like you said WWIU.. just handed it to him with a bottle of water.. he looked at it for a minute then swallowed them down.. fell asleep for a bit... Got my little people ready for bed.. they went in to tell him nite.. and he pretty much slept for another hour or so... Funny too... he kept asking me what was up, what was on my mind, was I mad at him... LOL I think he knew what a grouch a** he had been.. felt bad about it, but somehow wanted to play it off like it was all in my mind.. Hopefully he will be better today.. he said he's coming over again tonite.. so we'll see. Thanks again
moimeme Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 I've known menfolk to be grouchy when sick. I think it's wise to just expect it and not let it get you too upset. Remember - the wounded animal strikes! Seriously, when people are hurting in any way, they will take swipes so sometimes I think it's best to let it pass and know that it's about whatever's bugging them and not about you.
Author Merin Posted February 23, 2005 Author Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme I've known menfolk to be grouchy when sick. I think it's wise to just expect it and not let it get you too upset. Remember - the wounded animal strikes! Seriously, when people are hurting in any way, they will take swipes so sometimes I think it's best to let it pass and know that it's about whatever's bugging them and not about you. Isn't that the truth! He called me on his way into work this morning.. he still isn't feeling great.. but he was in a better mood Thank God! LOL He is a major grouch when he's not feeling well.. I'm more one to suck it up and try to be pleasant.. so yeah.. uh.. LOL Funny to Moi, he actually did tell me it isn't me.. to which I replied "Oh I know it ISN'T me.. I'm awesome!" Thanks!
Mz. Pixie Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Must be going around Merin. BF has a sinus infection (I think he should see a specialist). Last night I go out to his house and do some laundry and stuff for him since he's working. He calls when he get off work to tell me he's been sick all night at his stomach. I fix his dinner and have it ready when he walks in the door. He's very quiet- changes clothes and eats. I have done his laundry, cleaned the kitchen, ironed shirts etc. Of course he didn't ask me to do any of that but I figure he's working two jobs and I was there with nothing to do. Oh, I also cleaned the oven- I'm not sure his Ex wife ever cleaned that sucka! He doesn't really notice everything I've done like he usually would but I cut him some slack. Every night when we are together he likes to lay on my chest and play with his hair. He does that last night and then as he's drifting off to sleep says, " I love you so much". This morning he feels better but he's not a morning person so I didn't get much convo out of him before he left. He checked to make sure I'd be there tonight when he got home and I said yes of course and he kissed me and left. I'm not a talker when I'm sick either so I get it but they are hard headed. What's up with not wanting to see a dr?? I've been telling him for weeks to see one about his nose- he's had pneumonia recently too. I'm just throwing up my hands on that and grimacing while he's blowing snot into kleenexes 24/7! The worst part- I was hoping to get a little something something last night and that was out the window because he was sick!
blind_otter Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 There is a certain type of person who refuses to ask for help when they need it the most. My Dada is like that, he had a STROKE once and refused to let us call an ambulance (he basically passed out and lost consciousness right in the doorway and threw up all over the place..... ) I am somewhat like this as well. I am very independent, even now with my neurological problems, I will refuse help from my friends...my friend JC offered to take me to the hospital yesterday and I said, no I don't want to be a burden and I don't want to use you at all. My friends always offer to drive me places, pick up stuff/groceries/food for me, or even offer me company, and lately I have just slept all the time because of my dilantin (anticonvulsants) and I am kinda moody, so instead of inflicting myself on them I stay at home alone and walk into doors all the time, etc. HE may be one of those people who has a hard time asking for help, or accepting help - is he very independent? A can-do kinda guy? That would explain a lot.
Author Merin Posted February 23, 2005 Author Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter There is a certain type of person who refuses to ask for help when they need it the most. My Dada is like that, he had a STROKE once and refused to let us call an ambulance (he basically passed out and lost consciousness right in the doorway and threw up all over the place..... ) I am somewhat like this as well. I am very independent, even now with my neurological problems, I will refuse help from my friends...my friend JC offered to take me to the hospital yesterday and I said, no I don't want to be a burden and I don't want to use you at all. My friends always offer to drive me places, pick up stuff/groceries/food for me, or even offer me company, and lately I have just slept all the time because of my dilantin (anticonvulsants) and I am kinda moody, so instead of inflicting myself on them I stay at home alone and walk into doors all the time, etc. HE may be one of those people who has a hard time asking for help, or accepting help - is he very independent? A can-do kinda guy? That would explain a lot. He is very much a can-do kinda guy.. LOL he always tells me don't worry about this, that, the other.. that he will handle it/take care of it.. this includes a lot of crap in my life LOL so yeah.. he is just that way. I try to keep that in mind especially when he's sick. Thanks girls
moimeme Posted February 24, 2005 Posted February 24, 2005 Funny to Moi, he actually did tell me it isn't me.. to which I replied "Oh I know it ISN'T me.. I'm awesome!"
Recommended Posts