Ex dumped me, 2 days later asking me if I moved on already?

[Snowprincess]

Me and my ex had an argument today over me messaging guy friends. i saw him looking through my phone when i was fake sleeping, and i wanted to see if he would admit to it. He wouldn't admit to snooping through my phone. I wanted to see if he would admit to going through my phone. What he chose to do was act completely passive the past two days, until yesterday morning and blew up on me.

 

 

We both have been through traumatic experiences within our rela as well as trust issues, but I thought we were pass the BS. He asked me if i flirt with other guys online and i said no. then he had me open up an app i use and read every single message i send to a guy. i asked him, why r u doing this? what are u hoping to gain? because i dont think i want to be with someone who has to spy on me or make me feel like a CHILD.

 

 

he then said goodbye to me and that he doesnt like what i'm doing. in addition he added that he doesn't like that he knows i'm overly attractive and that many men hit on me online and in person. it just matters what i do about it. he said whats his is his.. and he doesnt like when i flaunt myself online for attention. i never he had a problem with my pictures because he would take a majority of them... he use to like that side of me. now it seems he is making it seem like i'm some attention whore?

 

 

before we left eachother yest i told him to contact me in a few days so we can just discuss what happened instead of yelling at eachother. sort of like laying low between us and chilling out. so he emailed me 2 hours after dropping me home and and asked, "why do you want to be with me?"

 

i replied (i shouldnt of i know), "i said i love you * but i'm not believing love isn't enough anymore." pretty much me saying i'm okay with the outcome that has happened.

 

he then replies back and says, "what about trust, honestly, and loyalty?"

 

I looked confused and didn't know what he was talking about. I didn't reply to that email and chose to wait until this morning. well I look at my email when I woke up and he said, "i hope u had a great night tonight"

 

 

that email kind of was strange to me because earlier in the evening i was planning on going to some dance fest with my girlfriend. me and him currently have a family plan until the end of this cycle i am leaving him. for months now i believed he has had a spyware installed on my phone to track my internet usage, messages, as well as location. this sort of sealed the deal for me.

 

 

why would he email i hope you had a great night VERSUS i hope you have a goodnight/ great night. it's implying as if he knew i had plans tonight. I didnt even end up going, but i never text to cancel plans.

 

I started texting an old guy friend that I look up to and under his breath he told me, he knows i'm contacting him again.

 

when I was driving home from his place and was on the phone with him, and i was like i'm home, and he was like r u? (i was really at mcdonalds..lol) and i was like yeah. he then asked r u sure? i was like in my mind.. does this dude know where i am right now?

 

 

i dont want to ignore him because i think its rude, but he broke up with me today and is now emailing me for what? I thought we were going to take a couple days to ourself to think. but it seems like it's always has to be on his time. he said he doesnt want to be with me anymore and said he wish he didn't see my messaging guys online.

 

he pretty much justified his actions and doesn't think what he did was violating privacy.

 

 

idk what to do anymore, because we have a mandatory appearance in court together. i feel like if i go back i am entering the cycle again. i feel so helpless.

[Snowprincess]

he accused me of dating a college friend on linkedin. yes linked in.

 

he accused me of talking to guys in a game that i play online. he says, "you probably talk to guys on that game" but you cant message guys on the game.

 

 

he says, if i just told him, he i need to talk to this guy online for a,b,c he wouldnt of been mad, but i hid it from him. why do i need to tell him who i am talking to?

 

 

 

i need unbias advice.

Edited July 21, 2014 by Snowprincess

[Snowprincess]

I got dumped 2 days ago, and have been keeping to myself, reconnecting with my friends, and eating healthy.

 

My ex in the other hand has continued to email me. We are meeting tomorrow to discuss some personal things that we need to handle before parting ways. In the email, my tone is very blank. Straight to the point. No smileys.

 

He sends me a message and says "why do the emails sound like I'm your X" (gasp what?)

 

I sent "what do you mean what msg?" he sends the message and then asks , " have you moved on already? yes ? no?"

 

i haven't replied yet. Why is he so concerned now? His very words were "Goodbye [ my name ]" on sunday.

 

 

Why is he doing this? I dont want to communicate about our relationship or anything until I speak to him during the meeting.

[NopeNah]

Personally I'd just leave it at that. I'm the 'dumper' in my case and must say that I was thinking the same thing:"has she moved on?"..Urge's to call the past few days, ect.. But..I didn't and won't be. It's not fair to her or myself, nor my business anymore. I'm not going to keep her from moving on, why would I want to? His ego and loneliness are getting to him. Let it be.

[mightycpa]

He's doing it because he's immature. He's not actually concerned, he's just trying to figure out where the boundaries are now. It is a sign that he's not all that emotionally affected. I'm sure he'd be happy to stay in touch with you and be your special pal.

 

If you were previously in love and going steady, it's as if he doesn't want to fire you. He just wants to demote you to a lesser position.

 

Reading between the lines, it sounds like you have a few things to say regarding your feelings towards him, and it sounds like you need to include the part of the speech that says "Don't call me. I'll call you"

[Snowprincess]

so he just showed up to my house.. parked his car somewhere down the street so i wouldn't know it was him knocking on the door. when i asked him what does he want, he said his iphone charger. i closed the door and went to get it. then i said well since ur here we can talk.

 

we ended up talking for almost 2 hours (waste i know) and now he wants to get back together.

 

he said the day he broke up with me, that very night he realized he made a bad mistake and he has missed me the past couple days.

 

i told him i havent missed him and have felt more better than ever.

 

----

 

he asked me if i worked out today i said yeah i just left the field.

 

he told me he saw me with a guy and got upset and threw the flowers he got me away.

 

i said why did u do that? that just shows me ur impulsive. if he only asked he wouldve known that guy is just a friend and nothing else.

 

 

i pretty much hold the power now. i feel like i dont want to go back. logically i feel is not right. he hasnt done anything to take steps to improve himself. he always says when he is ready.

 

 

whenever he wants to really do something, he does it.. he has a very diligent characteristic. so this just tells me he doesnt really want to change.

 

 

and i want to be in a happier mood and state of mine.

 

 

im not happy the way the relationship is.

 

 

 

i will contact him when im ready. it may be a week or months. but right now i am comfortable with how things r.