Nopoint Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 Hi everyone, I'm new to this so here goes. We both fell in love with each other at 19. First loves. Were together for 16 years. deeply love each other but were always from different religions (huge problem) which we never overcame. we couldn't agree a way forward over kids and how to raise them. we broke up up about a month ago. Been NC aside from a few msgs re possessions. though we broke up once before for a year (12 years in) I never truly let go. Hence just carried on life blocking it out. And when I tried to face it, I couldn't bare the loss so initiated contact and we got back together. However, the split now is for real. And I'm truly trying to accept it and let go. It's the hardest thing ever. I feel total deep grief. I've cried my heart out like a baby on times. and I find it impossible to not think about her. It's like she's always there. In my thoughts even when I'm doing something else. it's been a month and I know this is going to be tough bec 16 years is a long time. But I've never been with anyone else, miss her terribly and care for her still. I guess what I'm asking, is it possible to get 'over' someone whom U still love and have feelings for after being with them for such a long time? This hurt is unbearable at times. I'm just constantly down and though on days get through ok, I'm not in the slightest bit happy. how do I get on with things? And how long will this take? and will I be able to date again and let other people into my life? Any input from people who have split from long term relationships and marriages will be greatly appreciated. Or those that have suffered like I'm feeling now. Thanks
SteakandSalad Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 Hi Nopoint, I'm sorry you are going through this. Take heart, there are people in your same position who had been together for the same amount of time. Have you considered counselling? It will be the best thing for you and will help you progress. It will take time to move on, you will have setbacks but you will only grow stronger from them. Surround yourself with good people. You will succeed. Best wishes
Author Nopoint Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 Thanks steal and salad. It seems like an eternity away at the moment. It's just getting worse not better.
BroknHrt Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 Man, I'm sorry you are going through this. 16 years is a long time to be invested to someone and it will take a long time to break that attachment. You will get worse without acceptance that it is over and an understanding that you will not be getting back together. Once you have acceptance and the motivation to be happy on your own, then that is when you will get better. I wish you the best. Keep posting on here when you need help.
Indonesia1 Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 Im so sorry that you're going this. It will undoubtedly be painful and will take time most importantly. Don't give up hope. You're human and feeling this just means you really loved, nothing to ever be ashamed of. Keep contact minimal for a true healing process and I'm sure you will be in her head a lot too. Completely natural. Reach out to family and friends. Allow yourself to grieve. Post updates on this thread. I recently broke up with my first love. Nowhere near that time frame but I still struggled, I still think about him a lot but its not associated with the pain it was before. Your religion seems to be important to you, at times of struggle faith can really help some. We're all behind you. 1
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