sweetpea01 Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 I went out Friday night and met this group of really nice guys. Turns out they were from my area...so we talked and drank a little bit, and we all decided to get together to see this movie that is coming out. So, at the end of the night, I ran into one of them again, and we spent a good hour together...talking...laughing, etc. I gave him my email address and my phone number. He was totally flirting, and I was sort of interested too. I got home, and at 3:30 AM I get a text telling me it was very nice to meet me, and he hopes to see me soon. He was so sweet the whole night, so I thought that was a nice thing to do. He calls me 2 times the next day, but I was not around, and then he shoots me an email. I think he is great, but I am FRESH out of a 3 yr. relationship - and I just don't feel ready to go out on dates...especially with a guy who I think is really ready for something more serious. So, I wrote him back and told him that I just got out of a 3 yr. relationship and am not ready - but we can keep in touch thru email. He writes back this morning and is very nice. Tells me he had a good weekend, and then tells me that I misunderstood, but he wasnt asking me out! He thought a group of 4-5 pppl could go to the movies, and we could all just meet and have a good time. So, now I sort of feel like an idiot. LIke, oh..duh...... So, could I have really misread this one SOOO badly? He was still nice...he was like, so if you change your mind, we can still catch that movie. I'm confused. Sweetpea
Sckott Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Sounds like from what you write here, that anyone could be confused. His movements seem classic in the way he seemed interested in YOU. Do you want to date this croud? Call/email and explain. Heck, I'd understand.... Did it chase your blues away?
glitter-gal Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Hey girl, here is my opinion if you want it.... I think he was interested in you & read all the signs that you were interested in him to (from what you had to say about your date), soooo when you shot him down after he asked you out he had to recover & fast. He still left the option open for the both of you to go out with or without friends, clearly he is interested in you. I don't know if he will wait for you to be ready to date him somewhere down the road, probably not, but I do think he was feeling a little silly too & that is why he said what he said.
Sckott Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 I was thinking the same thing too. He was doing a quick recovery from embarrassment?? Maybe.
westernxer Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 He likes you, otherwise he wouldn't have called you so frequently. He still likes you, even though you said you weren't ready for something serious at that moment. His comeback was nice, all things considered. Right now he's patient, but we'll see how long it lasts. It's really up to you on this one. If you aren't ready, you aren't ready. But if you see him again and you still find him interesting, then you may want to rethink what you told him earlier. It's up to you, though. After all, you just met him.
Merin Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Well it could be that he was interested in you romantically but when you told him what you did in your email.. he felt dumb and rejected so he came back with you had it all wrong.. Regardless.. if he's a cool guy then no reason to not be friends here right? So if you wish.. respond and tell him you're sorry if you had misread him.. that you liked hanging out with him a lot and would like to keep a friendship with him.. Good Luck
FoShizzleMyNizzle Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Guys do this to save face from rejection. I got rejected like this, so I hung out with this one girl because she was the most unique girl I have ever met (tattoos, connections with bisexual strippers.) and am glad she is my friend cause she is WHACKED in the HEAD.
monkey00 Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 Wow, all of you are completely wrong.... I'll give YOU guys a REAL response, coming from a guy Originally posted by sweetpea01 So, at the end of the night, I ran into one of them again, and we spent a good hour together...talking...laughing, etc. I gave him my email address and my phone number. He was totally flirting, and I was sort of interested too. #1 Dont blame him for assuming you were interested in him, you brought it on yourself cause based on the above, you did appear interested. And you probably were. I got home, and at 3:30 AM I get a text telling me it was very nice to meet me, and he hopes to see me soon. He was so sweet the whole night, so I thought that was a nice thing to do. He calls me 2 times the next day, but I was not around, and then he shoots me an email. #2, OK, he called too soon and you sensed desperation from his side. Which he probably was. So this was probably what freaked you out. I think he is great, but I am FRESH out of a 3 yr. relationship - and I just don't feel ready to go out on dates...especially with a guy who I think is really ready for something more serious. So, I wrote him back and told him that I just got out of a 3 yr. relationship and am not ready - but we can keep in touch thru email. Dont make excuses, it freaked you out cause he was moving too fast too soon, which actually turned you off. So instead you wrote that little excuse to him to let him know to stop his desperate acts and you werent interested anymore. and the last part, yes he probably did jump into recovery mode. but if he played his cards right with you sweetpea, i doubt he would be in this mess.
westernxer Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 You're right, monkey. I thought the exact same thing but decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Never again. Shame on me.
Author sweetpea01 Posted February 22, 2005 Author Posted February 22, 2005 MONKEY00: That was a really interesting interpretation! I'm not sure I got turned off...but you might be on to something with the "too fast, too soon" thing. I just got out of a huge relationship...a casual date would be nice...but staring a potential relationship in the face IS sorta scary. Not that that's what he wants...but it is the vibe I got. Anyhow, I havent thought out my next move yet...will probably just email back to say hello. Sweetpea
Podna Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 I'm with most everyone here. I think he was interested, and I think you gave him the signals that you were interested too. When you shot him down, it took him by surprise and he played damage control with the whole “oh, I’m sorry but you totally misunderstood, I wasn’t asking you out, I just thought we could be friends” thing. I don’t think you misunderstood and I don’t think he misunderstood. I think you just gave mixed signals and he played damage control to save face. It was a bit much with the 2 phone calls and an email the very next day though.
monkey00 Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 sweetpea i bet i'd probably feel the same vibe if som girl i just met did that to me . well, i guess you could look forward to dates w/o being committed, enjoy your ride!
browneyes22 Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 I agree with everyone here in that the guy had a nice comeback. But are you sure the dude wanted a serious relationship? I mean he is a guy...and we aren't exactly looking for serious relationships every second of the day. Speaking for myself, some girls come along that seem to have potential for more than a few dates. But after getting to know them a bit more I sometimes realize that they are all wrong for me. If you want to date him go ahead, you ultimately have the power to keep it to just dating.
Author sweetpea01 Posted February 23, 2005 Author Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by browneyes22 I agree with everyone here in that the guy had a nice comeback. But are you sure the dude wanted a serious relationship? I mean he is a guy...and we aren't exactly looking for serious relationships every second of the day. Speaking for myself, some girls come along that seem to have potential for more than a few dates. But after getting to know them a bit more I sometimes realize that they are all wrong for me. If you want to date him go ahead, you ultimately have the power to keep it to just dating. I'm not saying he's out shopping for my engagement ring. I've been outta the dating game for awhile now...I guess I was expecting a call in a couple days for some coffee. I think that's the pace I was looking for...and anything else just seems a bit more than I can handle right now. It's amazing how hard it can be to get back out there and start dating again, Sweetpea
alphamale Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by sweetpea01 I think he is great, but I am FRESH out of a 3 yr. relationship - and I just don't feel ready to go out on dates... hmmm...SWEETPEA01, so then why are you handing out your phone # and email to strange men you just have known for 2 hrs??? I would think that sends a clear message to the dude that u want to hook up. So, I wrote him back and told him that I just got out of a 3 yr. relationship and am not ready - but we can keep in touch thru email. Unless he is a "nice guy" why would he want to keep contact with you if he has no chance of dating?? Tells me he had a good weekend, and then tells me that I misunderstood, but he wasnt asking me out! He thought a group of 4-5 pppl could go to the movies, and we could all just meet and have a good time. He was askin' you out but is now trying to save face by saying the above.
clynn Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Yah, he was saving face is my bet. Sort of. You also were a little presumptuous in assuming he wanted a RELATIONSHIP. he wanted a date, maybe another after that one. And you assumed calling and asking you out on a date meant RELATIONSHIP. Probably because you've just gotten out of one and it is difficult for you to think someone isn't thinking serious. THen again, maybe he is gay? And thought you were cool and could be a pal.
browneyes22 Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Originally posted by clynn You also were a little presumptuous in assuming he wanted a RELATIONSHIP. he wanted a date, maybe another after that one. And you assumed calling and asking you out on a date meant RELATIONSHIP. Probably because you've just gotten out of one and it is difficult for you to think someone isn't thinking serious. I couldn't put it any better (as is obvious from my first post).
Podna Posted February 23, 2005 Posted February 23, 2005 Ah well, she probably saved him an 80 dollar date by being up front with him about it.
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