KatZee Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 (edited) As I've said, no picture of me is going to be flattering. Should I just have no photos at all? How many replies do you think that would get me? You can look like yourself and have flattering photos. People have already given you tons of advice on how to take a better photograph of yourself. Tons of other women? Are you sure you're not projecting your own feelings onto all these women? Nope. I've been OLD for quite a while and I know tons of women who are on OLD. I've been in the presence of many conversations regarding women and how they "expect" guys to pay for things. Women who "expect" these things wouldn't message anyone who had $20k a year listed in their profile. But this was a mistake as you've already clarified. Yeah, I'm overweight, it's not worth lying about. I can't put "athletic" and hope they don't notice if they meet me. What I was getting at with the "overweight" and "eats anything" is this. It can come across TO SOME PEOPLE that you don't care about yourself or your body. Yes, you are overweight. Yes, you enjoy eating food. But tie those together and upon first glance someone may think, "Hey this guy really doesn't care about his body, what he puts in it." This may not be the case. I'm only telling you how your profile looks without knowing you and by going by mere words on a screen. Everything is always up for interpretation as everyone is different and no one knows you personally. That's the way OLD works. It's very shallow and superficial, if you're not portrayed in the best light, you're going to get a pass. As for drugs, I have the occasional joint now and then, but I'm not a heavy smoker, but I've seen loads of women's profiles where they've stated on the question about this, that this doesn't bother them. As for this? Then don't even mention it. When I see something that says, "Does drugs occasionally" I think hard things. Cocaine, meth, E, whatever else. I don't through pot into the mix with other drugs. If you just smoke an occasional joint, leave it off. Now here's the bit I find rather insulting. Why have you listed being an Atheist as a negative quality? That's a positive thing because it shows I have some intelligence and can think for myself. And so you're saying that people who believe in God have no intelligence and can't think for themselves? Now who's being insulting? Majority of people DO BELIEVE in a higher power. The belief in God does NOT have to equal religion. I myself find issues with religion. But I ABSOLUTELY believe in God and a higher power. This is why I classify myself as spiritual. Edited July 24, 2014 by KatZee
SJC2008 Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 86 the pic with the chick next to you that looks like she's weirded out. Change overweight to a biy extra. Take the part about you working in a psych unit out and change it to medical care or something along those lines. These tips will help but keep in mind women who date online are very picky. A woman who would date you IRL will blow you off in a new york minute online.
Author PDC Posted July 24, 2014 Author Posted July 24, 2014 Okay, there's been lots of advice, most of it very helpful. I will say I've absolutely got the message in regards to the photos. I've already deleted some and will probably delete some more, although I'll probably wait until I've got some new ones first otherwise I won't have any on there. This may take some time because I've got a run of night shifts at the moment and most comments said I need something outside during the day. Some people have different views on whether to hide what I do for a living. I think maybe it's not about hiding what I do, but to describe it a bit differently. It's a big part of my life, more than any previous jobs I've had, so I have to be open about it. I do think it's strange that it would cause people to have negative perceptions of me, would they feel that way if I had said I was a police officer or a soldier? They're both just as physical, more so in the case of a solider. Maybe it's the thought of a man in uniform that tips the balance, lol. As I said, describing things a bit different I think's the key there, and I see how the words "Physical restraint" can conjure up the wrong image for some people. One of the main aspects of it is about keeping the patient themselves safe from harm. In fact, whenever I see TV shows like Cops, where they're holding some criminal on the floor, I'm always pointing out what they're doing wrong and how it may cause harm to the person. Also, a number of things people have said are really down to individual tastes, like some people have said get rid of the sci-fi convention photo, while others have said it's fine. The thing is, I didn't just create a profile and just wait for people to message me. I actively searched for people and sent them a message. I don't just see their photo and think "she's pretty, I'll message her", I read their profile and decide from that to whether to make contact. Now if their profile says they like sci-fi too, then the photo is not going to be a bad thing at all. The same could be said about a number of things on my profile, and the search filters help with this too. Tons of other women? Are you sure you're not projecting your own feelings onto all these women? Nope. I've been OLD for quite a while and I know tons of women who are on OLD. I've been in the presence of many conversations regarding women and how they "expect" guys to pay for things. Women who "expect" these things wouldn't message anyone who had $20k a year listed in their profile. But this was a mistake as you've already clarified. To be honest, those are the sort of women I want to avoid anyway. Yeah, I'm overweight, it's not worth lying about. I can't put "athletic" and hope they don't notice if they meet me. What I was getting at with the "overweight" and "eats anything" is this. It can come across TO SOME PEOPLE that you don't care about yourself or your body. Yes, you are overweight. Yes, you enjoy eating food. But tie those together and upon first glance someone may think, "Hey this guy really doesn't care about his body, what he puts in it." This may not be the case. I'm only telling you how your profile looks without knowing you and by going by mere words on a screen. Everything is always up for interpretation as everyone is different and no one knows you personally. That's the way OLD works. It's very shallow and superficial, if you're not portrayed in the best light, you're going to get a pass I think you misunderstood my point here. When filling out this section of the profile, the part about what you eat is not about healthy eating, it's about your ethics when it comes to food. You get a choice of FIVE options, which would you suggest I choose? "Vegetarian", "Vegan", "Kosher", "Halal" or "Anything"? Bear in mind that if a pick one of the first four, I would be lying. The only other option is "Anything". Despite what some would have you believe, overweight people are not all stuffing their face with McDonald's every day. In fact I hate fast food, the only thing I've every bought in a McDonald's is a cup of tea on my way to work, and that's only because it's the only place on my route where I can get one (you can't keep an Englishman away from his tea, even if it means going into a vile place like McDonald's). If there was and option that said "Anything, except junk food" I would have selected that one. But the problem lies with OKCupid, not me, so there is nothing I can do about it, therefore the criticism isn't constructive. Incidentally, I think I've misunderstood your use of the word "OLD", initially I thought you were talking about your age, but now I get the impression it's an acronym. What does it mean? As for drugs, I have the occasional joint now and then, but I'm not a heavy smoker, but I've seen loads of women's profiles where they've stated on the question about this, that this doesn't bother them. As for this? Then don't even mention it. When I see something that says, "Does drugs occasionally" I think hard things. Cocaine, meth, E, whatever else. I don't through pot into the mix with other drugs. If you just smoke an occasional joint, leave it off. As I've said above, I use the search filters to find someone compatible. One of those filters covers this subject, so I know that everyone I message has no problem with this. Also, the question section also goes into more detail, so I know this won't bother the person I'm messaging. If I didn't do this and just left it out, that may cause problems later if I did meet someone. Now here's the bit I find rather insulting. Why have you listed being an Atheist as a negative quality? That's a positive thing because it shows I have some intelligence and can think for myself. And so you're saying that people who believe in God have no intelligence and can't think for themselves? Now who's being insulting? Majority of people DO BELIEVE in a higher power. The belief in God does NOT have to equal religion. I myself find issues with religion. But I ABSOLUTELY believe in God and a higher power. This is why I classify myself as spiritual. Okay, I hold my hands up here, I did go over the top with my response. I felt insulted that my beliefs were dismissed as something negative and my instinct was just to insult back. This was wrong of me and I apologise. My atheist beliefs are important to me and because I went to a Catholic school at the time I first started discovering Atheism, I was given a hard time about it by teachers, which is why I can be a bit sensitive about it. But I will stand by my statement about it showing intelligence and the ability to think for yourself, but that does not mean the opposite must be true for people who do believe. That is a propositional fallacy called "denying the antecedent". For example, if someone said they were a Chess Grandmaster, then they must be intelligent. But does that mean people who don't play chess are not intelligent? Atheism is more than saying "I don't believe in God", it's about using logic and reason to get to that point. An Atheist looks for proof to back up his claims, while Theists don't require proof, they just believe with out anything tangible to back up that belief, that's why it's called "faith". Incidentally, a belief in God DOES equate to religion, that is the dictionary definition of religion. I think what you mean is "organised religion", which by the sound of it you're not a part of. Anyway, theological discussions are for a different forum, so let's leave it at that before I get carried away and try to convert you, lol.
Heartbroken16 Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 Here are my personal quick checks (looking for a serious relationship): - pictures with other girls - pictures of only pets and/or inanimate objects - pictures involving drugs/smoking But like people mentioned, I think it depends on what kind of girls you're trying to attract lol
FitChick Posted July 26, 2014 Posted July 26, 2014 Have one pic without the hat to show your bald head. Using today's exchange rate you make $34K. At your age, having a low number makes you look like a slacker looking for a woman to support him or someone on benefits. Since you won't lose the weight, are you prepared to date women equally fat?
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