Themanwithaplan Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 I met a girl at the beginning of the summer that I really like. We went on a few dates, had a great time etc... The last two dates, she ended up canceling the day before or the day of hours before meeting. A couple weeks later, I sent her a friendly msg, and she responded right away. I followed up by asking her if she was free to go out the following night. She said she was busy with work and had early morning plans the day after. So after feeling like I had been shot down 3 times in a row, I decided to ease off completely and let her make contact to see if she's actually interested. Well...she did a week later apologizing and mentioning she was overwhelmed with school and work, but that things should slow down in a couple weeks. I was pretty surprised to hear from her and that it seemed she was still interested. This is the first woman that has canceled dates on me so it's uncharted territory. Just goes to show that everything isn't always black and white in these situations.
rewl Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 Damn! You're not even plan B, possibly plan C or D. I hate to tell you the truth. 2
Author Themanwithaplan Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 Damn! You're not even plan B, possibly plan C or D. I hate to tell you the truth. I don't know, but if that's the case, I'm sure I'll pick up on it... I'm fairly certain she still sees her ex occasionally(to what extent, I don't know). Seeing as how we're not in a committed relationship, that really doesn't concern me at the moment. We just have fun when we go out, no labels. I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket so it won't be hard to move on...On the other hand, she could just be overwhelmed as she said. It's totally possible she is not dating tons of other dudes! I can't live my life assuming the worst about people and constantly being pessimistic. Especially if I want something to work out. I have gotten both realistic and not-so-helpful advice off this site so I'm taking everything with a grain of salt. It just helps having input to gain some perspective. 1
KatZee Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 (edited) No one is ever "too busy" to go after what they want, or to date. This goes for both genders. No man will ever be too busy to lock down a woman, he will be worried someone else could snatch her up. Same goes for women. If I was totally into a guy, I wouldn't go silent on him for a week, then come back with an excuse of "I'm too busy" and then toss out some crumb saying, "but maybe in a couple weeks!" I'd have to agree that you're some consolation prize or a back up plan. Plus she still sees her ex? She's super flaky, backs out last minute (and to add insult to it, she doesn't even have the courtesy to follow through when it comes down until mere HOURS before the date) she makes excuses for being "busy" while simultaneously hanging out with her ex... After enough last minute cancellations, it becomes evident that this person is trying to keep her options open. Something better came through before your date, most likely. Edited July 22, 2014 by KatZee 1
Elle1975 Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 If I like a guy, I can squeeze a 2 hour date between my school and my work. I've done it. My feeling is that you're plan B.
Yamaha Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 If you want to know how she feels ask her out again. Don't wait around and spend time wishing and fantasizing. She knows now if she still wants 2 date. Find out!
Assasda Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 ^ I think he already got the answer he wanted. Good job backing off her after you called OP. All you can do is express what you want to do, and if she isnt picking up on that then you just have to move on. So what, if she is seeing other guys, and he's not number 1 right now? They dont know each other You just got to value your time OP and people will too 1
Author Themanwithaplan Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 Thanks for all the responses. I know she wants to see me again, she's made that clear... I'll know after that whether or not this thing is worth while or if she's just interested in dating tons of people. I wouldn't mind keeping her around as a friend if our goals are way different, she seems like a great person
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